How to take care of myself?

[Hamster]

Heya!

I just wanted to ask... That how do I take care of myself? Because I.. Am.. Unable to properly do it.

Im new to everything here but I know for sure that Im a Little/Middle and that I *need* a caretaker. But I havent ever had one.. And ofcourse its gonna take a while to actually find one but until then... How am I supposed to take care of myself?

I try.. I try.. And I try.. But I will always not be able to take care of myself at the end. For example while typing this Im almost starving. But Id rather sit on my phone and talk to people or use my laptop. I guess thats also me being lazy but I just dont have the motivation to do alot of things. At this point isnt that just the general definition of being lazy... Not having a good motivation to do anything?

But at the same time its not really being lazy since I have my schoolwork piled up which I dont want to do.. Exams in a few months which im not studying for... And im friggin hungry but im not going to eat anything...

But im pretty sure that having a caregiver would turn my mindset around. There are also other various things which confirm that I need a caregiver and that Im just not lazy in general.

 

And yes I try my best to do things. I wrote half an answer of a question and then left it for god knows how many hours. Its been sitting in front of me forever and I just dont wanna do it. I started working out again a couple days ago but just havent wanted to do it at all after that.

Some of my motivations are for example: to impress or to live up to the expectations of my teachers.. or not lose all the rewards of working out for a long time.

 

I explained all that very horribly but hopefully you get my poiny.

Anyways just wanna know that if there are others who go through the same thing, then how do you guys cope with it.

Thanks for reading.

P.s. ill go get food lol

[cuppycakes]

You’re not alone in this, sometimes it takes so much effort for me to do the simplest task. I’m also in college and reading a textbook is like someone is killing me slowly. Even doing things I like can be a chore sometimes, but I try to keep a positive attitude with it. I know that doing things makes me feel better overall, even if watching YouTube gives me short term satisfaction, the way to happiness is actually being productive and getting things done.

 

A couple things that help:

1. Make lists, and break down everything into steps. If you have to write a 4 page essay, it helps me to break it down into paragraphs. If writing a paragraph seems like too much work, just write a sentence. (Usually when you start writing a sentence, you can continue to do more, but it’s important to give yourself permission to stop after just that one so there’s no pressure.) I always get stressed out over big projects, so this helps me a ton.

1.5 you can do this with every day things, too. Cooking dinner is a lot of work, but going to the kitchen is way simpler. Have easy foods in your house, too. I like rice because you measure, put it in the cooker, and in 30 minutes it’s done. Cereal, toast, fruits, potatoes (stab with fork and microwave), granola bars, etc. all make it easy for you.

2. I love having a friend over when I have to do something. I had a friend over yesterday while I cleaned my room, and I worked way faster than I would have alone. This is the same when I do my homework, having a person there keeps me accountable and I’m less likely to distract myself. (Some people this is the opposite though so watch out)

3. Use a planner. If something doesn’t have a due date (or it’s way in the future), make your own due date. “Have 1/3 of essay done” and realizing you’re behind is way better than realizing your essay is due tomorrow and you didn’t even start.

 

If you think this is due to having depression, please seek professional help. A therapist can help more than anything else.

 

Also, try not to count on a daddy changing you. While having a CG can definitely help, there’s a lot of things you can do all by yourself. Doing things is hard, I know, but the best results will come from within. If you know the best way to get yourself to do things, you can still take care of yourself when your CG isn’t around.

[Guest Alainnb]

Well... so I guess the problem is not having no caregiver as a middle/little, but it has more to do with your actual mental health.
Of course, I can only judge from what you wrote but my best friend was like this as well and she actually had/has depression. I would genuinely talk to a therapist about this, he can help you more and has the knowledge to.

While a caregiver can obviously help you, he can just support and try to get you into the right direction. For example, he can give you tasks to do, but would you eat more because he tells you to? If not, would you change your behavior if he'd punish you...?

So even if you're fine and you're completely healthy, I'd still pay a therapist a visit, he might find out there in fact is something wrong or he can probably also give you good tips on working on this.


I also heard from several people that taking the pill made them depressed and really lazy...? Just a thought I had  

[Hamster]

Goddamn. I can see why youd think I have depression but if I actually did I wouldve wrote it in the post or may not have even made the post.

Ill try out your tips Suppy Cake.

 

And also, thats another problem that I have or may have in the future if I even do get a caregiver. I respond very well to a person who puts their attention on me as a 1 on 1 thing. But I do not know if that responsiveness would last, or if it will just go numb again in the future.

Thats what happens to me. I get motivation but something keeps chipping away at me that makes me lose responsiveness to the motivation.

Im unable to visit any therapist for personal reasons so any professional help is a longshot.

[cuppycakes]

I wasn’t trying to offend you by suggesting you look into therapy. Many people are depressed and may not know it, or believe depression is somehow “different”. Depression can be mild, and it can be situational, so a person may not have it all the time. Not saying you have it, I don’t even know you. Again I didn’t mean any offense, and I’m sure Alainnb didn’t either.

[Hamster]

Its fine I didnt get offended. Thanks for helping though