Daddys yelling....

[Lola Step]

So the other night daddy and I were driving somewhere when a situation came up with the car, it was a pretty stressful event and as such he began to swear/yell/hit the car. None of this was directed at me whatsoever, has never happened before and it ended pretty suddenly, yet due to issues I suffer with my parents I am incredibly sensitive to anybody yelling so i immediately burst into tears. Afterwards there was a lot of cuddling, reassuring and treats as well as him apologizing over and over. I know now that it had nothing to do with me, and that he was entitled to his reaction as was I, but i was just wondering how other littles cope when their Daddys gets mad or yells?

[cuppycakes]

It's really great to hear that you guys talked about it and made up so quickly. I just came here to say that you should be proud that, even though he got upset, you two made sure to think of each other and care about each other even when arguing. That's not an easy feat to do, as many couples let their feelings get the best of them when those situations arise.

 

I hope you get some good responses here, and I'm sorry I couldn't be more help.

[Guest litdaddy]

I know that youre asking other littles (and I'm curious abt their perspectives too) but as a Daddy who has this problem too, I'm really happy for you that you know it doesn't have to do with you and am sorry it's emotionally triggering and makes you cry

 

What I always tell my partners about this is that anger for me is like sadness for them, when I am yelling and cussing and hitting my steering wheel, that's my version of you crying, so treat me like you'd want to be treated and consoled.

 

(Talk to your Daddy about this next part first of couse!)

 

The things that have helped me tremendously are a light slow caress on my shoulder and neck, encouragement to express my painful feelings ("Let it out, Daddy"), sympathy ("I'm sorry you're feeling like this, Daddy"), letting me know you're on my side ("I'm on your side, Daddy" - hey it's on the nose but it moved me to tears when I saw it in Moonrise Kingdom), BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I AM IN DISTRESS

 

Things that do not work for me: trying to talk me out of my feelings no matter how well-intentioned ("This just happens, traffic is bad for everybody"), shaming me, making it about yourself so I feel like I'm wrong to have negative feelings but you're entitled to yours, anything that makes me feel like you're not on my side

 

HOWEVER: if this kind of temper is ever turned on you, that is never okay - as unpleasant as this part of my personality is, my relationship is my solace from this kind of misery with the world - in the past I've had relationships where she would get as irate at me as I do at traffic(/elevators/ATMs/grocery store lines/etc, etc; I'm a nightmare) and it hurt me so bad and made no sense: I can't break up with the world but she could break up with me, why be with someone that causes you that fury if you don't have to?

 

sorry, rambling - just my perspective and I hope it helps but other temperamental people may need different approaches, talk to him and see if anything I say resonates

 

good luck!

[meows kohai]

I'm a hider. If there's confrontation and we can't come to a resolution, I let him go do his thing and I find a place to burrow in--closets, under the bed, in the dryer, under sinks, etc. I wish my bed frame fit in my new place because I'm the only one who can fit underneath so it's a good place to hide. ;v ;

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

I'm a hider. If there's confrontation and we can't come to a resolution, I let him go do his thing and I find a place to burrow in--closets, under the bed, in the dryer, under sinks, etc. I wish my bed frame fit in my new place because I'm the only one who can fit underneath so it's a good place to hide. ;v ;

Please don't hide in the dryer!

[Lola Step]

Thank you so much for all of yout kind response, I was really nervous posting this here in case of negative feedback but everybody has been so nice and made me feel even better about the whole situation. Cuppycakes- Thank you for you compliment, i like to think my daddy and I are very good at communicating even in stressful timed but to hear you acknowledge it as well makes me feel great LitDaddy- It was really helpful to hear a Daddys perspective on the issue, i myselg had compared me being sad to him being mad but hearing somebody else mention it was very reassuring (Also your Patrick Bateman profile picture and moonrise kingdom reference made my smile cause Daddy and I both love American Psycho and Edward Norton so I take that as a good sign! )

[meows kohai]

Please don't hide in the dryer!

 

It's ok!! No one turns it on and I can fit ok!! 

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

What I always tell my partners about this is that anger for me is like sadness for them, when I am yelling and cussing and hitting my steering wheel, that's my version of you crying, so treat me like you'd want to be treated and consoled.

 

The things that have helped me tremendously are a light slow caress on my shoulder and neck, encouragement to express my painful feelings ("Let it out, Daddy"), sympathy ("I'm sorry you're feeling like this, Daddy"), letting me know you're on my side ("I'm on your side, Daddy" - hey it's on the nose but it moved me to tears when I saw it in Moonrise Kingdom), BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I AM IN DISTRESS

 

Things that do not work for me: trying to talk me out of my feelings no matter how well-intentioned ("This just happens, traffic is bad for everybody"), shaming me, making it about yourself so I feel like I'm wrong to have negative feelings but you're entitled to yours, anything that makes me feel like you're not on my side

 

...and the the skies parted and the light from heaven shined down and Sachita had a glorious revelation.

 

THANK YOU!

 

 

For the OP, any yelling or anger makes me curl up into a ball and want to run away as far as I can, even when it isn't directed at me.  It sounds like this was a spat of road rage, which is unpredictable.  In the past, I've asked my partner to give me a heads up if they are starting to get mad or to immediately tell me that he isn't mad at me.  With one guy, he was really good at creative insults and encouraged me to come up with my own, that way we could both be mad at the same person.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

I'm a hider. If there's confrontation and we can't come to a resolution, I let him go do his thing and I find a place to burrow in--closets, under the bed, in the dryer, under sinks, etc. I wish my bed frame fit in my new place because I'm the only one who can fit underneath so it's a good place to hide. ;v ;

 

Same :3

Or my pop-up tent, under tables, etc.

[meows kohai]

Same :3

Or my pop-up tent, under tables, etc.

 

Oh nice!! I wish I had a pop-up tent, but I guess I wouldn't have anywhere to put it rn ;o ; when I was little I had a pink teepee

(native whats goooood  )

It's fun to hear I'm not the only hider! I don't know what it is about cramming into a small space that really makes me feel secure. Maybe cause I'm the smallest so no one else can intrude/force me out?

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Bwaha, anywhere to put it.

I literally whip it out of the bag and unfold it in what little space i have and I just curl up in it.

Daddy keeps intruding tho =/ Like, don't you know you're why I'm in here? lol

And I didn't know that it didn't have a floor when I bought it. So he just lifts it up and is like "aww, what's wrong pushpop?"

Like a friggin giant liftin' a house.

 

Growing up I always hid under tables or in closets and small spaces too. :3 It's just habit now.

Cats do it too sometimes. Ours have squished themselves under the couch before when they're tryna hide from visitors.

 

Oh nice!! I wish I had a pop-up tent, but I guess I wouldn't have anywhere to put it rn ;o ; when I was little I had a pink teepee

(native whats goooood  )

It's fun to hear I'm not the only hider! I don't know what it is about cramming into a small space that really makes me feel secure. Maybe cause I'm the smallest so no one else can intrude/force me out?