Guest asidfhiudsghfah Posted January 15, 2018 Report Posted January 15, 2018 So I'm in a very committed relationship with a girl for about 9 months now. As we've developed, I've noticed some childish and immature things she does during normal daily life as well as during arguments. I've looked up signs that a girl is a Little and I have a strong feeling that she is. I don't think she's open or even knows, but I'd like to care for her if she is. Does anyone have any subtle ways to care for her without making it too obvious I'm doing anything different? How to avoid fights, make her feel safe and comfortable at any given times, what to do and how to treat her when she is in one of her childish moods, etc? I want to get the best out of this relationship and I wanted to come here first.
Guest asidfhiudsghfah Posted January 15, 2018 Report Posted January 15, 2018 Also if there's anything I should do during our fights to make them better and have her feel better so they're not as bad as I'm going about everything wrong if she is a little, please tell me.
cuppycakes Posted January 15, 2018 Report Posted January 15, 2018 We don't know if your girlfriend is little or not. Your girlfriend does, though, and you should talk to her. We emphasize communication here, because without it, you won't get anywhere. Plenty of people are childish/immature, but those things alone can't tell you if a person is a little or not. Even if she does hit all of the "markers" to be one, she may not want a ddlg relationship and may not want to put that label on herself. It's not your place to determine what she is or isn't, as that is something you should entirely leave up to her. Having frequent fights also shows that you two may not be talking as much as you probably should be. Instead of trying to ask the internet for advice when you two fight, you should be asking her why you're fighting in the first place and fix that problem. Besides that, ddlg is a branch of bdsm and you can't just put someone into a bdsm relationship without consent first. That's wrong to leave her out of this discussion when it involves her directly. 1
Guest asidfhiudsghfah Posted January 15, 2018 Report Posted January 15, 2018 Thank you. I've talked before about it and she seems against the idea of the label. The reason I came here is to treat her right if she is (or isn't but just has tendancies) without forcing that kind of relationship on her if she doesn't want it. Like figuring out common triggers and what would help her feel comfortable without making her uncomfortable by forcing it on her.
cuppycakes Posted January 15, 2018 Report Posted January 15, 2018 Thank you. I've talked before about it and she seems against the idea of the label. The reason I came here is to treat her right if she is (or isn't but just has tendancies) without forcing that kind of relationship on her if she doesn't want it. Like figuring out common triggers and what would help her feel comfortable without making her uncomfortable by forcing it on her. I don't think you're understanding the point. If she's against the idea of a label, you shouldn't try to implement ddlg anyways. As essentially what you're doing is talking to her, she says no, then asking the internet how to do it without her knowing that you're going against her wishes. Every little is different. You can't just research littles and learn more about your girlfriend, as littles do not all have the same interests, fears, likes, or dislikes. Triggers are triggers because of past experiences, they aren't relevant to being interested in ddlg. She should be the one you're having this conversation with. "Do you have any triggers that I should know about so we don't fight as often?" is a good start to learning her triggers. "I went on the internet to research littles to see if I could learn about your triggers" is not a good start to learning her triggers. You can't just learn about littles and also expect to learn about your girlfriend. If my daddy did that to me I would be pissed af. ESPECIALLY if I had already expressed my disinterest in ddlg. 2
Guest asidfhiudsghfah Posted January 16, 2018 Report Posted January 16, 2018 Ok thanks again. Ig I do kind of come off as kind of an ass the way I'm going about this. I just didn't know if there was a way to go about this without making it a ddlg relationship.
Guest Mister Grey Posted January 16, 2018 Report Posted January 16, 2018 It is not a DDlg relationship until you and her establish that it is and as of right now she has already stated that she is not open to the label and probable that may include the lifestyle. Talk to her and best of luck. As is with ANY relationship, communication is key.
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