Having problems with my family and ddlg

[Guest bunnybear11]

Hii, I've been having some problems with my family lately and I wanted to see if anyone has had these before.

 

I never used to get comments like these from my family, but recently me, daddy and my family went on a one month trip around the US to visit family (we're brazilian, so it was a v long awaited trip, going to another country for this long), so as a result we ended up spending a lot of time together, literally, me and daddy were rarily alone.

 

Whenever I talk to daddy I use my little voice, of course, when around people I tone it down 'a lot', and don't say anything that could make other people uncomfortable (like calling him daddy or anything at all related to ddlg), but my voice is always calm, quiet and sweet, and other people can tell the difference, which was never a problem before.

 

But now my family is pointing this out a lot, making fun of it, saying I sound like a baby, and because of my appearance (buying clothes from the kids' section, wearing mostly pink and frilly outfits etc.) they point these things out and say I need to grow up, and they say this A LOT.

 

Which bothers me sooo much, because now I'm finally old enough to explore this side of myself, to join this amazing community that truly fits the way I am, and people keep telling me I need to grow up, but they don't know it takes a grown up to be a little, and I can't defend myself, I'm voiceless.

 

Have any of u experienced anything related to this? xx

[zusie]

I've not dealt with anything like this before, but I'll say that my parents used to harp on me for wearing so much pink, since they saw that as childish. Now, I've switched most of my pink out for red, and it seems to help. You might want to tell your family that it's how you enjoy expressing yourself, that it's harmless, and that (if necessary) it's not up to them to dictate how you and your partner act around each other. Be gentle but firm, and don't tell them explicitly about DD/lg unless you think it's safe.

It might also be a good idea to tone down the frills when you're around your parents. Try shorts and t-shirts instead of frilly dresses, and they might get off your back a little. Of course, that makes the frills all the more special, and even more exciting!

[Guest bunnybear11]

My appearance honestly isn't anything out of the ordinary, and I do dress like a big girl when I go to dinner parties and things like that, I enjoy having these two styles (u guys can see on my instagram @olivcar.o if u want some examples)

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Stating you can't defend yourself and you're voiceless is a victims point of view. If you don't like something then it is your obligation to change it. Do you live with your family and are dependent on them? You can either address it with them directly and hope for the best, continue to be oppressed, or be a grown up and move out to be on your own. If you don't live with them I would tell them to shut the f+_": up and to keep their opinions to themselves. If they want to keep you around then they will obviously need to learn to accept you for you.

 

My family tried to force their opinions and beliefs on me several times. I'm pretty sure they learned with excessive distance and decisive actions to accept me for me or I wouldn't be around.

[Guest bunnybear11]

Do you live with your family and are dependent on them? You can either address it with them directly and hope for the best, continue to be oppressed, or be a grown up and move out to be on your own.

That's what I plan on doing, moving out eventually, I'm just now turning 19 tho and entering college, and I live in a country where sons and daughters tend to move out after they finish college, since there are no dorms on campuses here.

I don't think this is victmism at all, I'm just simply sharing my experience and how I feel in this situation, and I have every right to do so.

Edited January 15, 2018 by carobear

[mintypowder]

Well, I haven’t had this kind of experience with my family, but one of my friends asked me if I were out of my mind when he found out that I was in a long distance ddlg relationship a year ago. Currently I’m not in a relationship but that friend of mine suggested me to delete the app I used to talk to my daddy. Apparently I freaked the .... out of him. Even now he acts weird when this subject comes up. I can’t imagine what my family would do if they find out this side of mine haha.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

There is a strong difference between feeling helpless and voiceless versus being so.  

 

I understand your reliance on your family and the social norms of "children" within different countries. Even here is the US my friend has two kids that are half-breeds as he calls them and they follow more of the Japanese ways vs American ways. Obviously you're going to have significantly more challenges addressing these issues with whats stacked up against you, but if this is something you feel strongly about I'm certain you will find a way to resolve the issues at hand. Hard work and determination pays off.

[Guest infinitecases]

My family, in general, know I'm very childish, and for the most part don't mind. They sometimes think I'm weird or strange and that's fine by me, every one thinks I'm a bit different. My only problem comes to when my sister and her boyfriend are around, and they make (what feels like) rude comments or laugh at me or use my vulnerability to point out my flaws or weird habits. I spent a lot of time with my Daddy building up my self-esteem little by little... and I know I should never let other people's opinions get to me, but my sister knows how to hit all of my buttons to the point that almost every time I see her, I cry atleast once. It doesn't help that I'm genuinely so comfortable around my family, that I don't hide most parts of me, and there are certain times when I feel a lot more little than others.

 

I can't do anything about it, I still have to see her very often, and I'm not entirely sure whether she has the capacity to notice I am upset - she certainly never has before - but there are always going to be people in the world who want to change a part of you - but your Daddy loves you for who you are and as long as you are happy and see nothing wrong with it then try to ignore them as much as possible  

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

But now my family is pointing this out a lot, making fun of it, saying I sound like a baby, and because of my appearance (buying clothes from the kids' section, wearing mostly pink and frilly outfits etc.) they point these things out and say I need to grow up, and they say this A LOT.

 

Question: is your family concerned about your behavior with your boyfriend or do their concerns have nothing to do with him?

 

When my sister dated a guy that my mother didn't like, she used to pick on every little thing they did together, put him down when he wasn't around, and made comments about the way my sister acted with him.  One possibility is that your parents are using your behavior around your boyfriend to passive aggressively disapprove of him.

 

If you think it has nothing to do with him, yeah, been there, never want to do that again.  I didn't feel comfortable being myself around my family until I had been living on my own for several years.  Luckily I am at an age where they can no longer tell me to "grow up".  Considering your age, they are unlikely to stop any time soon.

 

Your situation is kind of a common one for young women on this site.  While these topics aren't exactly the same question, they will give you an idea of the different kinds of family relationships out there and how other members deal with them.

 

Explaining To My Family What This Is

Does Your Family Know

Telling Your Family?

 

Good luck!

[Guest bunnybear11]

Question: is your family concerned about your behavior with your boyfriend or do their concerns have nothing to do with him?

I don't think it has anything to do with him, they're always super supportive of us and say they really like him, I think it's just about how I'm different when I'm around him, and people tend to make fun or even disapprove of anything that is uncommon. Thank you so much for the links, I'll definitely check them out.

[Guest bunnybear11]

My family, in general, know I'm very childish, and for the most part don't mind. They sometimes think I'm weird or strange and that's fine by me, every one thinks I'm a bit different. My only problem comes to when my sister and her boyfriend are around, and they make (what feels like) rude comments or laugh at me or use my vulnerability to point out my flaws or weird habits. I spent a lot of time with my Daddy building up my self-esteem little by little... and I know I should never let other people's opinions get to me, but my sister knows how to hit all of my buttons to the point that almost every time I see her, I cry atleast once. It doesn't help that I'm genuinely so comfortable around my family, that I don't hide most parts of me, and there are certain times when I feel a lot more little than others.

 

I can't do anything about it, I still have to see her very often, and I'm not entirely sure whether she has the capacity to notice I am upset - she certainly never has before - but there are always going to be people in the world who want to change a part of you - but your Daddy loves you for who you are and as long as you are happy and see nothing wrong with it then try to ignore them as much as possible

 

My family, in general, know I'm very childish, and for the most part don't mind. They sometimes think I'm weird or strange and that's fine by me, every one thinks I'm a bit different. My only problem comes to when my sister and her boyfriend are around, and they make (what feels like) rude comments or laugh at me or use my vulnerability to point out my flaws or weird habits. I spent a lot of time with my Daddy building up my self-esteem little by little... and I know I should never let other people's opinions get to me, but my sister knows how to hit all of my buttons to the point that almost every time I see her, I cry atleast once. It doesn't help that I'm genuinely so comfortable around my family, that I don't hide most parts of me, and there are certain times when I feel a lot more little than others.

 

I can't do anything about it, I still have to see her very often, and I'm not entirely sure whether she has the capacity to notice I am upset - she certainly never has before - but there are always going to be people in the world who want to change a part of you - but your Daddy loves you for who you are and as long as you are happy and see nothing wrong with it then try to ignore them as much as possible

 

Wow I'm so so sorry, that must be really hard :c my brother can really push my buttons too sometimes and make me completely mad, but I guess we just have to deal w them, there really isn't another way out. Thank you so much for the advice ^-^ :333

[Lil' Krisi]

Hii, I've been having some problems with my family lately and I wanted to see if anyone has had these before.

I never used to get comments like these from my family, but recently me, daddy and my family went on a one month trip around the US to visit family (we're brazilian, so it was a v long awaited trip, going to another country for this long), so as a result we ended up spending a lot of time together, literally, me and daddy were rarily alone.

Whenever I talk to daddy I use my little voice, of course, when around people I tone it down 'a lot', and don't say anything that could make other people uncomfortable (like calling him daddy or anything at all related to ddlg), but my voice is always calm, quiet and sweet, and other people can tell the difference, which was never a problem before.

But now my family is pointing this out a lot, making fun of it, saying I sound like a baby, and because of my appearance (buying clothes from the kids' section, wearing mostly pink and frilly outfits etc.) they point these things out and say I need to grow up, and they say this A LOT.

Which bothers me sooo much, because now I'm finally old enough to explore this side of myself, to join this amazing community that truly fits the way I am, and people keep telling me I need to grow up, but they don't know it takes a grown up to be a little, and I can't defend myself, I'm voiceless.

Have any of u experienced anything related to this? xx

My mother used to tell me that & actually scold me for using "baby talk" with my boyfriends when I was in high school. I didn't know I was a little then neither. In my adult life I tone it down as well but if you are seriously hurt by these judgments you could do what I do & also tone down how you dress while "adulting" also. To keep my little side even more private to Daddy & i , I will dress adult while in the world & when I get home I change (most of my little clothing is PJ's) , turn on my little pony, & grab my pack & stuffie. This hrelps me get into my comfortable little being & when Daddy gets home from work my real life resumes.

 

Ik this all stinks that we can not be ourselves all the time but if our egos are hurt by the judgments of others we need to protect our self esteem for when it matters most. On the other hand, its a bit more sacred to keep this all private. You are doing the right things otherwise & coming here helps a lot to know you're not alone & can still have friends while in your little world.

 

I hope all of this helps & good luck to you!

Edited January 20, 2018 by DaddyJslg

[Daddysbabybunny]

Hello my daddy and I have also been kink shamed by my entire family they approve of our relationship since we are engaged but that doesnt stop my mom from making rude comments to me personally about acting childish and on my daddys birthday this year my brothers girlfriend straight up verbally attacked us about the lifestyle we live calling us incestual perverts along with other horrid comments all behind my back when i wasnt in the room to hear it wll. it really hurt our feelings as a couple knowing my family would treat us that way, since he lives with me and my family. My sister in law ended up writing me an apology note on my birthday (7 days after daddys) but daddy never recieved an apology from her so we still hold a small grudge against her and i am forced to live with her until she is able to move with my brother and their baby so i understand what its like to be ridiculed for being who you are and im sorry for anyone little or big that has to deal with arrogant people that will never understand this type of relationship