Daddy wants me to dress up

[Guest PaintedBird]

I have only been with my Daddy a short time. He has repeatedly asked me to dress up. I explained that I have issues with worrying about being used just for my body and dressing up/ageplay type of stuff and that it will be negotiable later, after he knows me better. He has continued to ask if I will wear something cute every time he comes over. I try to wear cute pjs at night when I know he will be here to make him happy anyways. He offered to dress up in a suit for me tonight, because he said he thinks I would like it. I was really excited. Shortly after, my Daddy asked me if I would dress up for him tonight too. I was a little taken back by this, but I said yes.He wants me to get outfits out, when I don't know what he likes (he doesn't have specific preferences) and take pics so he can pick one out. I feel really pressured, stressed, and just upset. I don't totally know why. It was a rough day, too. I feel kind of like all he wants constantly is for me to dress up I guess and like him dressing up had strings attached... like I was tricked and he was just doing it to get me to do something I have said I am not ready for. I'm not really sure what's "normal" in this sitch, how to deal, or what to do.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Picking out outfits is fun! It's also part of the control aspect which he clearly wants and you want no part of by the sound of it. Maybe he wanted to take you out somewhere special if he was saying he would wear a suit, maybe he just wants to pick something out that he likes...

[Guest Georgia-Daddy2]

Be honest. Tell him you aren't comfortable with it. Any daddy should be able to respect his littles limits. There's a difference between trying to get a little to push her limits and blatant disregard for those limits. Don't be afraid to put your foot down for yourself.

[Guest NaughtyNymphet]

Totally curious, and not at all trying to invalidate your feelings... but, how are you comfortable with calling him Daddy, but not with playing a little bit of dress up for the man you're calling Daddy? Again, not trying to invalidate your feelings at all, it's just... when *I* am at the point of acknowledging a man as my Daddy a certain level trust, comfort, and respect has definitely been established.

 

Regardless, if you're not ready or comfortable with doing something, and you're not just being a brat about it, then your feelings should be respected. It's just hard to understand how you can call someone Daddy, but not trust them enough to dress little for them...

Edited January 12, 2018 by NaughtyNymphet

[Guest NaughtyNymphet]

Also, I can't help but wonder here if you're interested in more of a Cg/l relationship vs having a DaddyDOM. A DD is going to expect a certain level of control, especially if you're actively calling him Daddy. These are things you need to clearly discuss big to big, and if this is a boundary for you make it clear and reassess the relationship if need be.

[DavCentral]

Alrighty so take a step back for a second..

 

I hear what you're saying about being used, that's fair. You do need to feel comfortable.

 

If its someone whos coming to stay over, and they're dressing up for you, I would say indulge in the fun! You trusted them to be in the position you're in, do you feel you're going to just get used from this point on? Did something else happen recently?

 

 

My .02, it's part of the deal for some people, especially in this dynamic. Just talk to him about it

Edited January 13, 2018 by DavCentral

[Guest Arc]

I think what he's asking is pretty normal for the kind of relationship, especially if you're at the point where you're calling him Daddy and everything, but if you're feeling pressured you need to tell him that. Posting here isnt going to help your situation. Be a big girl and communicate with him. 

 

Dressing up can be a lot of fun. I find it exciting to dress in a way that makes my Daddy happy because I love pleasing him. 

[Little Illy]

Most Daddies and most Doms will want their littles to dress up. Its a fairly common aesthetic.

 

HOWEVER - It sounded like you've discussed your discomfort with him and yall have come to an agreement in the past. So for him to constantly pressure and manipulate a situation to get his preferred stance, that is not okay. Sure it is dress up now, but what if it is a sexual aspect later. Or isolation from certain people, etc. Sure it may sound like I am taking it far... but this is where my thoughts go to.

 

What you need to do is have an adult-to-adult conversation completely outside of the dynamic. Boyfriend to girlfriend, etc. And you need to tell him, clearly, how you are feeling pressured and stressed. No matter what may be common in the DDlg, D/s dynamic, if something isn't agreed upon and makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is not okay. No matter what it is.

 

Now, we only have limited information here and one side of the story so he may not even realize he is doing this. Daddy did something similar (but not extreme in any way) because he didn't realize he was wording things a certain way or etc. But I was able to explain how I felt and he went out of his way to make sure he didn't goof again. And then after awhile of him allowing me to natural grow into the little I am, the thing he wanted happened naturally! With you, you probably need to feel like the dressing up is a natural aspect, not an expectation.

 

Have that heart to heart with your Daddy. Be prepared that he may not understand he is doing this. Though if he is aware, then it might be an idea to consider if you want to stay in this situation. A situation where manipulation is used to get what your partner wants and what makes you uncomfortable. These are hard kind of conversations, for sure. But they are vital. Your Daddy cannot read your mind, so you much make your feelings clear to him.

 

I hope everything works out.

[Guest SUeB]

If you're not happy with it, tell him. Nothing more complicated. No psychology. No why's or why nots. It doesn't really matter why it bothers you. He should just accept that it does. Hopefully you can take time to talk and work on some kind of compromise, but it all starts with you being clear and blunt.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I built up 3/4 months of trust with my boyfriend before I asked him to be my daddy. It sounds like you're rushing things a little. It kind of worries me that you call him daddy, yet it comes across that your relationship isn't ready for the dynamic quite yet. 

 

Get to know each other a little better, tis the only advice I can think of to give, sowwie. 

[Guest SUeB]

Calling someone daddy isn't always the massively serious thing that many see it as, lol. Calling him daddy doesn't mean she's signed her life over to him.

Its a name.

i called my partner Daddy from the start. From the first physical date. And i am an adult with a relatively secure and stable mind.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

Calling someone daddy isn't always the massively serious thing that many see it as, lol. Calling him daddy doesn't mean she's signed her life over to him.

Its a name.

i called my partner Daddy from the start. From the first physical date. And i am an adult with a relatively secure and stable mind.

YES.

 

This "it's an earned title and should only be used once he has "control of you"

 

If you like making that word special and enjoy the build up/pay off, awesome but "you called him daddy so... Idk you should really just do what he says," is giving what is ultimately just a group of letters and sounds a hell of a lot of power.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

Listen if you feel uncomfortable, even a little resentful of the way he's going about this ya'll need to talk.

 

And I hate to be that person that's like "run at the first sign of trouble" but if the talk doesn't immediately resolve things this issue won't go anywhere. If it's every time he comes over and you haven't wanted to get dressed up any of those times. Then he wants someone you aren't. 

 

Nothing changes when you put on a cute outfit, really it's just a bunch of fabric. So this is a power struggle over your discomfort and potential pain. Not the sexy kind. Power struggles based on expressed limits (i.e. "I don't feel comfortable dressing up yet, so let's wait" Him: "Will you dress up? I dressed up for you, now you should do it! I have an idea let's do that thing that you don't want to do!") Nah man. 

 

Bullshit. If you were my friend I'd be like "you do you, but I don't like him."

Edited January 13, 2018 by PrincessNotBaby

[Zoinks]

I was so afraid first time I played dress up with daddy. I was shaking ! But I have been with my daddy long enough at the time to know that daddy knows my limits better than I do. Now I love to wear my cheerleading dress for him . I'm sorry if this isn't helpful but I know what it feels like to be insecure and unsure of myself. Go with your gut tell him you are scared.