Mean Mummy

[Pinky-Pwincess]

My mummy was very nice in the start. 

Now she is always so busy and upset and grumpy.

I try to be quiet and help her by coloring in and giving her kissies and cuddles.

Last week she hit me and told me to 'get lost'

How do I make her love me and make her better?

[xBabydollx]

I hate to tell u, but u can't force anyone to love u. It just doesn't happen that way. u can only take her actions as her truth. She hit u and told u to get lost. i'm sure it hurts, but perhaps u should listen to her and her very clear desires. u can make her 'better' by accepting her vocally spoken wishes. By trying to force ur self in somebody's life who doesn't want u, will only hurt u worst. i'm sure u wish to change her mind, but u can not. u can not change what she does not want to change. at the end of the day, this lifestyle is about consent, and u can't 'make' or force anybody to do anything. it is not healthy to desire to try to do. there is no justification for her hitting u, but if she felt the need to hit u to further let u know that she doesn't want u around, i think u should take the hint for ur own safety and leave her alone. that is what she wants.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

You need to seek help, outside of this forum, this is abuse.

Leave the relationship, and do not worry about "breaking up" or ending it officially.

 

If you live in the US here's a resource

http://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/

here's a number if you live with your partner/are afraid to have the website on your search history: 1-800-799-7233

 

If you don't live in the US look up a domestic abuse hotline in your area. Use incognito tab if you're afraid.

 

EDIT: grammar.

Edited January 9, 2018 by PrincessNotBaby

[Guest Cutie Kitty]

I hate to say it but it sounds like she is abusive. Just leave her.

[Guest BabyPeach]

If someone hits you ONCE, you need to get out of that relationship.  If they say, "I'll never do it again", don't believe them!

[princesschelsea]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! It's abusive and unfair:( I hope you feel strong enough to realise you're better than her and leave xx

[daddy1992]

I have to agree with most people on this topic. but you should probably re-thing if she's the right Mummy for you? No one should be in that sort of relationship, If a person hit you once. you should get out of there. good luck! 

[Guest SUeB]

Get away from her. Now. And stay away. End of story.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

It sounds like your the one that needs help not her. How do I make her love me? You don't! Why would you ever want to make someone love you? Why would you want to be with someone that hits you? And why would you want to be with someone that tells you to get lost?

 

Take the hint or the very clear directions as I see it.

 

My ex hit me once in the car when she flew down to see me. I instantly gave her the choice of dropping her off at the police station or the airport. Done.

[Little Illy]

There are two issues with this entire situation, and I fear it is not just "Mean Mummy" side as well. So this may be an unpopular opinion, but here goes:

 

1. She hit you and demanded you get lost. Hitting is never okay and at this point, you need to leave. She has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you or the relationship. If you try to stay you more than likely will be in an abusive relationship. It will become harder to leave the longer you stay. You need to make this decision and you need to make it NOW.

 

2. I'm not quite sure that there should be instant judgement on your Mummy's side. We don't have nearly enough information to assess the abuse that may have happened, even including what I just wrote above. There are some clear red flags in the behavior you mentioned of yourself. You have stated that she has been very busy and that, at this point, you are trying to get her to love you. For the VERY SMALL AMOUNT of information... could this possibly be a case where she has already ended things and you simply have not accepted it? Because I am getting the vibe that this may be the case. If she has clearly stated she is done with the relationship and you (as harsh as that is, and I am sorry) then you need to respect her wishes. Trying to force your feelings onto her is NOT okay and will not change her mind. She has blatantly said no and you need to respect that. Trying to make her love you is wrong and, in the end, simply wont work.

 

Now before anyone thinks I am condoning violence - if this CG is being a bitch and is hitting anyone for no reason, then she should be avoided and possibly reported. There is no need for hitting someone. But I do realize we are hearing one side of a story so a "hit" could be a wide variety of things (like trying to shove someone out the door, or pushing away, or hitting to get off of her, etc). We do not have enough information to blacklist your Mummy as abusive. And giving the other information you have provided, I am hesitant to call her a bad guy. I am NOT saying you are a bad guy or the wrong one in the situation, but I am trying to stress that there may be more to the situation than 'Mummy hit me,' that needs to be considered.

 

At the end of the day, I hope you get away from her and you work on your own happiness. Being with someone who has resulted to hitting you comes down to two reasons: she is abusive or she wants you to stop coming after her. Either way, you need to understand this and move on. For your own health and happiness.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

 

2. I'm not quite sure that there should be instant judgement on your Mummy's side. We don't have nearly enough information to assess the abuse that may have happened, even including what I just wrote above. There are some clear red flags in the behavior you mentioned of yourself. You have stated that she has been very busy and that, at this point, you are trying to get her to love you. For the VERY SMALL AMOUNT of information... could this possibly be a case where she has already ended things and you simply have not accepted it? Because I am getting the vibe that this may be the case. If she has clearly stated she is done with the relationship and you (as harsh as that is, and I am sorry) then you need to respect her wishes. Trying to force your feelings onto her is NOT okay and will not change her mind. She has blatantly said no and you need to respect that. Trying to make her love you is wrong and, in the end, simply wont work.

 

Now before anyone thinks I am condoning violence - if this CG is being a bitch and is hitting anyone for no reason, then she should be avoided and possibly reported. There is no need for hitting someone. But I do realize we are hearing one side of a story so a "hit" could be a wide variety of things (like trying to shove someone out the door, or pushing away, or hitting to get off of her, etc). We do not have enough information to blacklist your Mummy as abusive. And giving the other information you have provided, I am hesitant to call her a bad guy. I am NOT saying you are a bad guy or the wrong one in the situation, but I am trying to stress that there may be more to the situation than 'Mummy hit me,' that needs to be considered.

 

This is a new account that doesn't appear to be linked to a cg. If there was a caregiver's reputation at risk, I'd agree we shouldn't blacklist without more context/proof/consideration, however it appears to me that there's only a potential abuse victim to worry about. 

 

Other thoughts: I responded to this within a couple hours of it's creation. I looked at OPs profile within minutes of responding. They created a profile within the a couple of hours of posting this topic. Their profile states they are "looking for a Mommy." This is also the only topic/post they've created.

 

They may have left their relationship and updated their profile by coincidence, shortly after posting this topic. But in the case that this is some kind of "abuse roleplay" that's accidentally crying wolf, well I think we need to ask some questions as a community about topics like this. It's a real life safety issue.

Edited January 9, 2018 by PrincessNotBaby

[Little Illy]

This is a new account that doesn't appear to be linked to a cg. If there was a caregiver's reputation at risk, I'd agree we shouldn't blacklist without more context/proof/consideration, however it appears to me that there's only a potential abuse victim to worry about. 

 

Other thoughts: I responded to this within a couple hours of it's creation. I looked at OPs profile within minutes of responding. They created a profile within the a couple of hours of posting this topic. Their profile states they are "looking for a Mommy." This is also the only topic/post they've created.

 

They may have left their relationship and updated their profile by coincidence, shortly after posting this topic. But in the case that this is some kind of "abuse roleplay" that's accidentally crying wolf, well I think we need to ask some questions as a community about topics like this. It's a real life safety issue.

 

 

Yes, I agree - we should NEVER condone violence or abuse. However, I have seen good community members labeled abusers because of crying wolf. And not only that, but even if the CG isn't a forum member, they are still a part of a community. And what I want to avoid is grabbing torches and pitchforks until the whole situation is understood. Because even though they may not be on the forum, it is still not right to call someone abusive without all of the facts.

 

But that doesn't mean I don't want the OP to be safe! Which is why I stated in my first point and my conclusion that we need to make sure people are safe and I hope the OP gets away from abuse and is happy. I would never want someone to stay in an abusive situation. Ever. Its not right and is one of the reasons why I am in Law Enforcement. I very much care for everyone and have the best hopes and intentions for everyone's well being.

Edited January 9, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Can we never suggest anyone ever get "reported" to government. You run the risk of ruining someone's life especially in the US as it's a police state with corporate run jails. There is no justice system it's the just-us system. Far too many innocent people get screwed over because of advice like this. If the other party felt like they needed so seek redress, they could do so on their own free will. Absolutely no need to encourage or make them believe that is what should be done.

[Little Illy]

Can we never suggest anyone ever get "reported" to government. You run the risk of ruining someone's life especially in the US as it's a police state with corporate run jails. There is no justice system it's the just-us system. Far too many innocent people get screwed over because of advice like this. If the other party felt like they needed so seek redress, they could do so on their own free will. Absolutely no need to encourage or make them believe that is what should be done.

 

If that was in reference to my first statement - what I meant was that if OP felt that the situation warranted it, then the OP should avoid the CG and if things didn't stop (abuse) then it definitely should be reported by OP. To a doctor, therapist, friends, local PD if needed. But never should a forum member report abuse of another member. Simply because what I stated earlier - we truly have no idea what is going on in said situation. But if prolonged physical abuse IS happening, then we NEED to encourage a victim to stand up and report an abuser (with evidence). Very much so.

 

My apologies if I created confusion.

Edited January 9, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest QueenPrincess]

Can we never suggest anyone ever get "reported" to government. 

What exactly are you suggesting? A 10,000 way pinky promise? Negative. You're welcome to be anti-government, and hell, if this forum wanted to it could place/follow a "we don't report abuse to the government" rule, but this isn't the dark web. Law enforcement can go through this forum. A member just mentioned they work in Law Enforcement. 

 

I've known people who went through one-off incidents like what's being described. Maybe some kind of restraining order. Definitely not locked up. Life certainly not ruined. I've never used a domestic violence hotline, but from poking around it certainly seems more concerned with the safety of victims - escape plans and such.

Edited January 9, 2018 by PrincessNotBaby

[Little Illy]

What exactly are you suggesting? A 10,000 way pinky promise? Negative. You're welcome to be anti-government, and hell, if this forum wanted to it could place/follow a "we don't report abuse to the government" rule, but this isn't the dark web. Law enforcement can go through this forum. A member just mentioned they work in Law Enforcement. 

 

I've known people who went through one-off incidents like what's being described. Maybe some kind of restraining order. Definitely not locked up. Life certainly not ruined. I've never used a domestic violence hotline, but from poking around it certainly seems more concerned with the safety of victims - escape plans and such.

 

For clarification - I am more in the scientific standing of LE, not an actual officer. Though I have been trained.

 

Also - Hotlines do exactly that. They provide support and help formulate plans on how to leave an abusive relationship. On how to reconnect with family or friends that may have been cut off (primary step in domestic abuse is to isolate the victim) and they explain what to do in certain altercations to help protect, possible defuse and where they can run to (halfway houses) if needed. Hotlines don't go on a manhunt for the abuser. Hell, even if the police DO arrive and the victim is bloodied and bruised, they still cannot do anything to the abuser unless the victim makes a statement. And if the victim DOES press charges, then a full investigation would take place. Evidence would be needed, etc.

 

LGFAA - I see where you are coming from though. I have seen tons of lives ruined for alleged sexual abuse. That is the tricky one. That is where there is a lot of accusations and opinions created even with lack of evidence. So there is definitely a recognition of that. But that reporting doesn't fit this case, as far as the original 5 lines of explanation were provided.