How to deal with constant nightmares?

[Guest rabbitdreams]

Hi! I deal with some mental health issues and unfortunately this means that I get a lot of bad nightmares. This gets especially bad if something triggers my stress. Usually after a nightmare, I’ll be too scared to go back to sleep because there have been instances where I’ve had multiple nightmares in a single night.

 

So i just wanted to know what are some of the things you’d do after getting a nightmare?

 

Apologies if this was upsetting!

[Guest QueenPrincess]

I get sleep paralysis, which is something like nightmares. The part about being afraid to fall back asleep resonated with me. It's awful cause I'm usually so sleepy when it happens.

Depending on how early you have to get up I would recommend some kind of programming. An episode of something lighthearted or short cartoons on youtube of some sort. 

 

Now listen, tv before bed messes with your brain, it's a lot of stimulation, but that's might be the jostle you need when your mind is in nightmare mode to fixate on something else. So: if you're regularly getting screen time before bedtime try to cut it out for an hour before from now on. If that's not the problem, use screen time to reboot after a nightmare. 

[AliciaCrunk]

I have trained myself to get sleepy to family guy and Dane cook. I have family guy playing all night on Hulu and it helps guide my dreams. Or Dane cook, it will distract your brain from your own thoughts. I listen to the same ones over and over again. Don't have them to loud but you don't wanna strain to hear them either. Like a clear whisper. It's helped with my nightmares. And once your body and mind associate those sounds with sleeping you can use it for road trips or any other scenario where you wanna fall asleep quickly

[Little Illy]

Ive had night terrors/nightmares every single night since I was 12. I am not being dramatic, literally every night. For 14 years.

 

There are a few things you can do before. during, and after that will help ease the severity or at least gain a bit of relief.

 

 

1. RELAX - Try to find a routine that clears your head in a positive way. You said stress makes it worse (which is expected) so counter it with relaxation. Meditate, draw, read, write, color, etc. Do stuff that doesn't require screens (as screens are stressful on our bodies in more ways than one) and make a routine that helps wind you down. Drink hot tea, warm milk, etc. Grooming helps calm me (feeling clean and fresh) so I used to take my shower, brush my hair for about fifteen minutes (Slowly), drink warm tea and let grooming relax me. Then I would read for an hour. Keep lighting low and voices soft. The point of this time is to ease your mind. Let it wind down for the day.

 

2. SECURITY - What helps me at my peaks of my nightmare times, is giving myself a sense of security. I have a routine here as well. Check my locked door, lay out my favorite blanket, have my bravest stuffies, etc. Give yourself an added sense of security and this can make your mind feel more secure. I have been locking my door since my night terrors had started, then I started sleeping with a knife by my bed. I know this sounds drastic, but it was comforting. I know I never needed a knife, but when things got bad, just its presence there was reassuring. I am not saying you need a weapon but something that triggers safety; a photo of your CG or someone who makes you feel safe, a religious book or artifact, a safety blanket, more stuffies, locking the door, a phone nearby, an added nightlight, etc. Things that alleviate any 'dangerous' feel will lead to a more peaceful environment for which you can fall asleep. Figure what works best for you.

 

3. DURING - If you wake up and you find you cannot go back to sleep, go through your relaxation routine again. No matter how long it may be. Brush your hair. read your book, mediate, light candles, etc. Do whatever you may need to do to set a safe and relaxing setting once more. It will be difficult, but menial tasks calm nerves. Maybe get a little, simple, hand-held puzzle, a rubiks cube, a etch-a-sketch, etc. Something that requires you hands and something you can fiddle with until your mind clears. While doing this little tasks, devote your mind to it and the reassurance that you are safe, okay and in control. It seems... odd... I know, but trust me. The physical distraction is a great help. You might not be able to go back to sleep, but you are calming your mind and helping to reduce stress. And then after a few nights, it has conditioned you to relax, you will be able to be soothed by this task and then you should be able to sleep again.

 

4. WRITE - During the peak of my childhood, I had a meltdown. I couldn't  tell anyone about my night terrors (well, no one would listen) and so I was pent up. It boiled and bubbled inside me. Instead, I decided to write them out, in great detail. I filled dozens of notebooks and just purged. Writing them out became a form of therapy for me. It was as if once I wrote it out, it was gone from my head. It sucked and wound me back up writing it, but once I did I felt like a weight had been lifted. Find an outlet that specifically allows you to try to purge your nightmares. Writ them out, draw them, make a song about them, talk to someone who you can trust, talk to a stuffie, etc. Just find a way to purge them. Once you are used to getting them out of your system, it can help.

 

5. SUPPORT - I never had this until recently, but support is your best friend for going back to sleep. Reach out to someone you love and trust the most and let them know you are having these nightmares and it is stopping you from sleeping. Find someone who is MORE than willing to be there for you when they strike. Who is only a phone call or text away. Even if it is to say "Its okay, I understand. It must've been awful, but focus on your breathing now. You're safe, okay? Look around, you are safe, nothing is going to hurt you," etc. Like talking to someone out of a panic attack, having someone talk to you after a nightmare to ease the sense of fear and impending danger can really help.

 

6. UNDERSTANDING - Realize that you can let your dreams control you, or you can control them. Once I had my meltdown and I realized I wasn't going to have a normal sleeping pattern, I started taking notes. I logged the day, severity and general theme of my nightmares. I tried finding connections that led to them. I studied them and myself. I ultimately found the cause of them, and two patterns. Because I was able to understand them, I was able to control the reaction I had to them. They suck and hurt me every minute I experience them, but once I am up and awake, they don't affect me as much. I am able to control myself and understand the situation. It makes falling back asleep easier as well as waking up in the morning. Study your nightmares, find their cause, or find a pattern. Learn about them and learn how to take control of the situation. It sounds impossibly hard, but knowing your 'enemy' gives you more power in the situation. 

 

These are just some of the more successful tips I have tried over 14 years. I still get them, I know they wont go away, but I am coping with them on a much better level than I was years ago. **TW** I almost took my life because they were so bad, so when I say I understand, I really do. And when I say these things seem silly, I really mean it. But they have helped me more than expected.

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope they don't last.

 

[i am on my mobile - please excuse any typos or errors]

Edited January 5, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest countlieberkuhn]

This may not be helpful, but i used to sleep on my front, and i never dreamed. I started trying to sleep on my back recently and i have a more fulfilling sleep, and frequently dream.

 

It could possibly work the other way around for you? Try changing your sleeping position, it might suppress your dreams. It could potentially be a less deep sleep, but probably more fulfilling than being woken by nightmares.

[Guest rabbitdreams]

Thank you everyone for the replies! I never expected to get anything but they are all so helpful. 

I shall try them out and see if it helps for me. 

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much. <3 

[Guest RocketCatRocketCat]

Ok

So I have really horrible nightmares

But I find burning lavender actually helps

[klerido]

Deal with mental side first. Once you have solved your mental issue, you'll likely have a goodnight sleep.