NolaDaddy Posted January 3, 2018 Report Posted January 3, 2018 (edited) Hey DDLGForum, so I am having a hard time with the situation I am in. Not only am I new to the DDLG lifestyle and trying to understand my role, but the little girl I am with is with someone else. I guess you can say im number two and she is cheating on her bf with me. She wants me to be her Daddy but wont let him go either, which makes it tough for me to properly understand my role as a caregiver. She wants me to be able to do everything from punishments and rewards to being her only Daddy. She has told me that the relationship she has with her bf is not one of a DDLG naturejust a normal relationship. She's kind of a bratty little. I feel like im being thrown to the wolves here, so as much as it pains my pride, I am seeking assistance. How can I be the Daddy she wants while she's with someone else? How can I get over the feeling of being number 2 when I just want to be number 1? What can I do in this situation? Any help would be gladly appreciated. Edited January 3, 2018 by NolaDaddy 1
Guest PrincessCaticorn Posted January 3, 2018 Report Posted January 3, 2018 Sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it. Does her partner know about you? Or is it secret. Because if it's secret. You'll never be number one sorry she's not doing a nice thing for either of you.
NolaDaddy Posted January 3, 2018 Author Report Posted January 3, 2018 No he doesn't know about me, its secret. My thoughts exactly, she says she wants to leave him, because this, that and another, but i really care about her. Me and her were kind of a thing before, but things didnt pan out at the time because she was in PA and I lived in LA. We had stopped talking and during that time, she moved down here to be with this guy and we linked up. We talk extensively and she knows my views on this.
Guest Zephy Posted January 3, 2018 Report Posted January 3, 2018 Forget about being a Daddy to her and leave her. Find someone who you can be exclusive with. From reading what you've said it's clear you can't be in an open/poly kind of relationship, and the relationship you're in is is even of a worst kind where she is cheating on her partner. Do you really want to be "that" person? 1
NolaDaddy Posted January 3, 2018 Author Report Posted January 3, 2018 @Bloodthirsty Vampire, yeah I dont want to be that guy, when we first started to hook up, she was going to leave him, but because she cant make up her mind, she hasn't. the most she has done was move out. She told me they broke up, then she was saying stuff as if they were still together. Which I brought to her attention. I hate not being being someone's one and only. I dont like to compete, I am king and all others are not an option. I was also contemplating leaving her. But I dont like to give up and my urge to prove that I am the best of the best overpowers me. Sigh haven't even fulfilled my role as a Daddy and laready I am looking like I have to forfeit
Guest Zephy Posted January 3, 2018 Report Posted January 3, 2018 @Bloodthirsty Vampire, yeah I dont want to be that guy, when we first started to hook up, she was going to leave him, but because she cant make up her mind, she hasn't. the most she has done was move out. She told me they broke up, then she was saying stuff as if they were still together. Which I brought to her attention. I hate not being being someone's one and only. I dont like to compete, I am king and all others are not an option. I was also contemplating leaving her. But I dont like to give up and my urge to prove that I am the best of the best overpowers me. Sigh haven't even fulfilled my role as a Daddy and laready I am looking like I have to forfeit Seriously you could be so much more to a person that actually would really respect and love you, this girl doesn't and is even lying and playing you around for a fool. Please understand nothing good will come from a person like that. It's not something I usually recommend to people to just leave their partner, but in this case this is a lost battle and somewhere I feel you may feel it too. She is nothing but selfish and doesn't care about you or the guy she is with. Don't try hurting yourself or waste your time any further and stay true to yourself!
NolaDaddy Posted January 3, 2018 Author Report Posted January 3, 2018 Thank you all very much! I think I kinda just needed that reassurance. You're right, I have been feeling it. I just couldn't admit it and I had to make sure that I checked every possible avenue. I am liking this community already!
Guest SUeB Posted January 4, 2018 Report Posted January 4, 2018 Are you really asking how you can fulfil her wishes, knowing she is a cheat and utterly disolyal? You already know the answer. Drop her like the junk she is.
Guest Plebian Posted January 4, 2018 Report Posted January 4, 2018 I agree with everything said here. Remember, if she manages to cheat on her exes, it would be silly to assume she won't cheat on you. Don't take that risk and run while you still can.
Lola Step Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 I don't know the full situation so I won't take sides or tell you what to do, I will say though that for some littles the DDLG dynamic they seek is completely non sexual so perhaps in her mind she doesn't see it as cheating, more like you're (for lack of a better word) her 'babysitter'? Again, don't know the situation well but hope it works out
Guest mrfahrenheit451 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 I think the old adage of "If you love something let it go" would apply here. Relationships are hard man. Good luck.
Guest Zephy Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 Honestly, anyone in a relationship, whether it's mono or poly, if they are involved with another person in a relationship unbeknownst to their partner and agreeing on the terms, whether intimately, emotionally, or both, they are already committing treason, and they are cheating. No buts or what ifs. People just tend to give reasons to their actions, to pretend they are doing nothing morally wrong when they actually know it is hence the lying, pretending, and needing to hide. These kind of people simply cannot be trusted being in a relationship with, they are up to no good and they only think about themselves and their own self-image not the person they are cheating on or are using in the process.
Guest Mister Grey Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 Sorry but you really don’t need the help of anyone on this forum. The DDlg dynamic really is kinda irrelevant here when you look at the situation clearly. She is cheating on her boyfriend with you. She has her cake and is eating it too. This is not complicated. You should leave this relationship. I understand you care about her, but you should also care about yourself enough to not allow yourself to be a doormat…especially doormat #2. Good luck.
Guest Ignea Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 Lot been said here and i agree, make up your mind how your feeling about it. You know the answer deep down , stay true to yourself .
Maarloeve Posted January 12, 2018 Report Posted January 12, 2018 be a bro. tell her bf and you can both dump her at the same time. she'll continue on with her cheating behavior as long as she thinks she can get away with it.
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