Does having mental problems mean I'm a bad little?

[Littlepikachu110]

I have severe depression and anxiety and I've tried looking for a daddy but they all say I'm bad because of my problems....should I hide my depression and anxiety from daddy's or no? I don't know what to do.....I'm confused and sad

[Guest Loki]

I’ve yet to meet a little who doesn’t have mental issues. Most of us have depressions and anxiety as well. I don’t know why any Daddy would say such a thing.

 

You are not a bad little for having mental health problems. That’s like saying you’re a bad little becuase your arms broken.

 

Keep looking! You’ll find your Daddy.

 

Edit: don’t hide things from your Daddy! Honesty and communication are so important!

Edited December 31, 2017 by Guest

[Guest infinitecases]

You should never hide it from a potential Daddy - it'll only make things worse. Some people are more able to handle mental illnesses than others and if the Daddy you're talking to can't handle it or they just aren't looking for a little with that, then it just means you need to keep looking for your Daddy! 

[DaddyKens]

Hi.

 

You are NOT bad for having problems. Everyone has problems of one kind or another.

 

Maybe the ones you have met so far are looking for an easier life or maybe they

had other reasons but found it easier to blame it on you. I don't know but I do know

you shouldn't hide it from any potential Daddy.

 

It can take a long time to find the right one but don't give up. He's out there somewhere.

 

Happy New Year and all the best for 2018.

[Guest SilverKnight]

You're not bad at all. I can't imagine why someone would even say that, even if they feel like they are not able to provide that level of care. It seems insensitive. Always be completely open with any daddy

[Guest pacibrat]

Being honest is the best way!  Just be patient.  It can take awhile to find the right caregiver. 

[Guest TrueDaddy]

The responses you received have reminded me of how supportive this community is.

 

As others have stated, having issues does not make you a bad little. There is not a soul on this earth who is perfect. Just be you, and be honest about the problems you are facing. The right Daddy will accept you with open arms and love you as if you were perfect. Don't give up.

[Guest]

As someone who also has severe anxiety and depression, it can be difficult to make friends as well as find the right caregiver or little. I have had moments when a caregiver has gotten angry with me for having moments of depression or anxiety, saying that there is no reason for me to be upset with all these great things and people who love me in my life.

 

But that’s part of the distortion associated with mental illness. You can’t explain WHY you’re upset or depressed, you just are. You cannot control your feelings, but you can control finding the right sensitive caregiver who will be responsive to when you need extra love, affection, and reassurance.

 

You deserve the best, so don’t settle for a crappy insensitive and ignorant caregiver that won’t be able to appreciate you as you are, including who you are when your mental illness is present.

 

Hugs! ❤️❤️❤️

Edited December 31, 2017 by Guest

[princesskristan]

I agree with what everyone said. I have major depression and anxiety, and I've always been open about that. If a potential daddy can't handle that, then he's not the one for you. Sending you lots of hugs!

[Guest ParanoidAsylum]

As yet another little with depression and anxiety, among other things, no potential caregiver should say such things, nobody in general should in my opinion. I believe you will find a daddy worth your time who cherishes you in all your ways

[Little Illy]

Anyone who told you that you are bad for having mental issues were wrong, and I am sorry for the connected mental attack that came from hearing that accusation. I have depression, anxieties, OCDs among other things. It is not easy and I can easily empathize with you.

 

Just as a caveat, however. You are 100% okay being who you are, mental issues and all. BUT that needs to come with the understanding that not all CGs are able to handle it. Actually most can't handle it long term. That is not a bad thing, but rather a statement to what they can work with and what is too much for them to understand. Some people simply don't know how to react to mental disorders or illnesses. They are fake or bad CGs (not saying anyone claimed that they were) but rather they are just who they are. Though, even if they aren't capable of handling it, they should never call you bad. That is just rude, in my opinion.

 

You need to always communicate your mental headspace, otherwise it is unfair to those you are interacting with. I actually wrote a whole section of this, so I will copy it here:

 

"Mental Health

This is a monumental issue within our community. There have been so many issues of those with mental illness or mental unease that have jumped head first into a relationship when it is obvious that it will only harm them further. Let me make something very clear:

 

Mental illness does not mean you cannot be a Caregiver or a little.

 

Oh yeah, you know I am going to repeat myself because this is so important:

 

Mental illness does not mean you cannot be a Caregiver or little.

 

But what it does mean is you have an added responsibility (as the one with a mental illness) to acknowledge that not everyone can be put in the a relationship like this. And it is not because you are bad or gross or unlovable in any way shape or form! But all mental illness comes with added responsibilities and needs. And some people are not able to deal with those.This is just a fact of life. 

 

Example 1 - I was talking to an individual who lost his little because she didn't understand his depression. She claimed he didn't love her nor did he care about her because he couldn't be energetic and fun-loving whenever she wanted him to be. Talking further with this individual, he then revealed to me that he never told her that he was suffering from depression. See how quickly that went from "Geeze, she should understand that is how depression works," to "Wow, I can see how she misunderstood his symptoms." That is because when it comes to mental illness you need to be ready to disclose this about yourself to your new partner. If you cant (maybe you're afraid they wont be with you) then it is time to reevaluate if they are even good for you as it is.

 

Example 2 - Another individual I talked with is recovering from a particularly vicious break up. This break up has left him feeling lonely and unwanted. He wants to get into a relationship because he cannot stand the loneliness because it reminds him of his ex. When I talked to him I mentioned he should work through these issues and work on being okay before jumping into something new. He then explained that he wanted to "be with someone until I am fixed so I wont be lonely." In other words, he wants to be with someone as a way to avoid his mental trauma. This is so damaging for both people involved! A person needs time to hurt, to grieve and time to realize who they are after a break up, it is essential to being mentally healthy. And most importantly: It is NOT FAIR to expect someone to be with you when you are still suffering from a past relationship in this magnitude! When the wounds are still THIS fresh and THIS painful, another relationship WILL NOT HELP. And it will only hurt you AND your new partner even worse.

 

What these examples are showing is that we have an obligation to any future relationships to know our needs and our mental abilities before starting anything.  A person NEEDS to be in a place that is safe for both them and anyone new otherwise the risk is too great. If this means being single for however long, then that is what it takes! Utilize friends during these times, but do not jump into a new relationship when you cannot handle it. If you have a mental illness (depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc) then you have an added responsibility to know your limits and the limits of those you may be with. Again - this does NOT make you any less of a wonderful person! Not at all!! But the symptoms and their needs cannot be ignored, it is not fair to those involved (including yourself). "  (https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12930-why-we-need-to-be-single/ - SFW)

 

Yes I understand this was a piece about understanding yourself before jumping into a relationship - but the logic is still sound. Not only should you disclose this to a potential partner, it is your obligation. Just like they have an obligation to do the same.

 

Long Story Short - everyone has a mental issue now and again. Most of us have diagnosed illnesses. Not everyone can handle them, yet, YOUR Daddy (the Daddy who was made for you) wont only be able to handle them, he will be able to help you deal with them. Just have patience and look at these guys saying these things as a vetting process as it were. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't understand you, and these guys have shown they don't understand. Now you get to move on with your search to find your real Daddy.

Edited January 2, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest Bratty_little_princess]

No it does not make you a bad little at all.

You shouldn't hide it, you are not your depression and Anxiety you are worth so much more, i am sure you are a wonderful person and don't forget that, you are not just illness and if someone can't see past that, then they are the ones with the issue not you, it can be hard to have someone with Mental health issues, however that does not make you bad you are wonderful do not forget that.

If someone can't handle that they aren't the one for you, and quiet frankly they are rude, as others have said a true Daddy will love you no matter what. 

Edited January 3, 2018 by Bratty_little_princess

[daddy1992]

I think you should be open about this and don't hide this from any potential daddy. It doesn't make you a bad little if you have it. most daddy's are understanding and her to help you with the little struggle. my little one got bad depression and anxiety, My job as a daddy is to listen to her problems, help as much as i can, distract her and try make her happy and with her Anxiety, i just help her and tell her "we do this together, we are a team ", and i just give her the support. Most Daddy's i know are like this. so just take it slow and the right one will come and be your support good luck

[Guest Arc]

No, of course you shouldn't hide it! Lying about yourself would definitely not create a healthy relationship at all. 

 

It does not make you bad. Some people don't have the interest or patience to deal with an unwell partner, but it does not make you bad. 

 

Be honest and find someone who is understanding and supportive. Hiding that part of yourself from a partner will not end well. You need someone who's willing to try understand. 

[eilonwy]

You're not bad at ALL! Like everyone has said, if a potential daddy cuts it off because they don't want to handle your mental illnesses, they are not the one for you. A Daddy will come along that loves and cares for ALL of you no matter what. And lying about it will create problems further down the line. Honesty is the best policy!

 

Best of luck!

[xpaciprincesss]

You're not bad at all.

You should never hide your depression and anxiety. If they can't handle it, that means they're not the right Daddy for you. You will find a Daddy that will understand, help and love you just the way you are.

 

I have anxiety and BPD, and sometimes felt like I was less of a little or wasn't good enough. While at first it was hard, Daddy learned to love and take care of that part of me. It takes time, but when the right Daddy comes along, it's totally worth the wait.

[MadelynVictoria]

Having mental health issues you can't control doesn't mean you're bad. The daddys saying you're bad for having problems are the bad ones. A good daddy will accept that you have bad times and good times, but loves you regardless, and supports you. Edited January 5, 2018 by MadelynVictoria

[meows kohai]

Nah dude. I have anxiety, depression, eating disorders, ptsd, and extreme paranoia. Doesn't make you bad, just means you got stuff going on. There's nothing wrong with that. Even my daddy has similar issues.