Daddy and I broke up.

[Maids]

Well, I'm kinda new to this DDLG thing. I always had Little tendancies, but I never knew what the hell it was. So, I started experimenting and I eventually found my first Daddy Dom, Bo. Now I'm not an unreasonable person at all, I tend to be overly empathetic and try to understand the biggest of assholes and try to morph into what they want of me. Right off the bat, the first few months were hell. He was lied to me a few times, made me cry a bit.. but I stuck with him because it's a new relationship, shit is going to happen, we're still figuring eachother out. Fast forward to 11 months from then. I was under his collar for a year. I did EVERYTHING for this dude. Honestly, my friends say that /I/ was the Daddy and he was the little. I bought him monthly pizza days to where we'd chillout and watch stuff, play lots of games (I bought him Rainbow Six Siege and a gaming headset plus like 2 extension cords.) He wasn't employed, so I never really got any rewards like a majority of my friends did. He didn't know how to Daddy, he let me stay up till fuckin' 5 am, let me throw hissy fits (very petty ones probably because I wanted to snuggie or watch more little shows and not go to bed) He was just, not really guiding me. I wanted to shape him into being a little more strict with me but he kept claiming that he doesn't know how because he hates upsetting me in the slightest. Yeah, I'll get a little upset but in the end I'll probably be thanking him for looking out for me instead of letting me run free reign. Fast forward to a few days ago, we ended up breaking up because he completely lost himself. All he wanted was for me to leave him alone, he didn't really want to talk to me, but he was okay with coming on IMVU (Chatroom service)  and going into random DDLG rooms. He said he was doing it to try and bring out his childish nature again, but I was upset at the factor that he was searching for it in everyone else /but/ me. My little side was hurt because she's clearly not understanding that her /Daddy/ wasn't wanting her around. Everything was pointing to: He doesn't want to be with me anymore, he's bored and wants something new and if things don't work out he will come back to me. Every piece of me was telling me that, still doesn't stop the pain though. My friends were all telling me that he's just trying to keep his foot in the door by saying the sweet things that he still loves me and all that, but deep down I know that if he really did feel that way, despite everything he would tell me "I may be unsure about a lot of things right now, but you're the only thing I'm sure about." That's what my heart and little side were just endlessly waiting to hear, but no, I was kept in the grey area with a thousand questions and always second guessing myself. My friend Morgan was comforting me last night saying "You are the type that I would love to have under my collar. There's nothing wrong with you. It's HIM. He's not a good Daddy." But, none the less, still doesn't stop the pain. So now, here I am, feeling lost and like there's a horrible pit buried in my stomach that makes me feel nauseous. I surrendered way too much of myself to him, he broke my sanity and my Independence. 

A few days ago I told him that I wanted some space to grow my dependence and if I keep begging for his calls and constantly messaging him when he wants to be alone to figure himself out, it will only break our friendship. He never replied to that and it's been almost 2 days. I messaged him a few hours ago basically asking if he even has the interest in the possible future to talk to me again, even friendly "Hey how are you"s? if not, remove himself from my friends list,  it has been 2 hours and he has been on and off idle on Discord. I told him I'd give him until Midnight to atleast reply to me, if not, then I'm deleting him.

 

I'm to the point where I know i'm being overly generous with him but I still want to be fair to him, it's not so much to ask of a small message even if he isn't feeling the best. 

He claims that all those searches to talk to other littles were to reignite his childish nature so he can be more into his Daddy headspace for me, but where he messed up was the factor that /I/ wanted to help him with that, as he was still telling me that he "loved me in every way shape or form". Other than that, I was okay with him not talking to me and focusing on himself.  Was I being selfish and unreasonable? I asked him many times if he was sure about me even through the midst of all of this, and he said he didn't know. I think he neglects to think how much that hurt my little self, because in her eyes, she's far from not being over him and still thinks he's going to be there for her and take care of her.

 

Things have been EXTREMELY hard this past week, I can't feel whether or not my stomach is just nauseous or if I'm just hungry because I don't have an actual appetite. I've been living off of salted crackers, ginger ale and the occasional wendy's pathetic cheese burger but that's it.

 

I feel like i'm asking a question to something extremely obvious: What is going through his head? What do I do? How do I mend properly? I'm tired of having dreams about him even replying to my message, or having him back when every single day I just grow colder.

[MrJohnny]

"I feel like i'm asking a question to something extremely obvious:" You are. He's not into you, he is into himself.

 

Take more tme to get to know someone so you can make better choices next time. Spare yourself the heartache.

[Guest Canada_Daddy]

I'm sorry, but everything you've described isn't normal for any kind of CG. He's not a daddy... He's a man child who is really good at preying on littles. Thats not fair to you or anyone. Take the time for yourself and stay away from him. You'll heal. It won't be an easy ladder to climb, and you occasionally might feel like you're going to lose your footing, but it will pass and you'll keep on climbing. And then once you're at the top, you can kick the ladder over, drop a match down that pit, and walk away while "Like a Boss" plays softly in the distance! You're gonna make it! 

[MasterBrent]

You're giving him far too much power. He doesn't sound anything like a real daddy

Real daddy's don't play games with littles minds in the ways you describe your ex did/does with you.

[neko]

I really don't want to come across as rude because you're obviously still getting over this whole thing, but you're a doormat, plain and simple.

 

You buy stuff for your partner, let them say and do whatever they want in the relationship because you think they are somehow going to wake up one day and their asshole personality will just be gone. That's not how that works.

 

If you do not start realizing that assholes do not change and things will not get better when they are treating you so bad, this will keep happening.

 

You need to understand that your mental health is way more important than trying to fix a relationship with a guy that obviously does not care.

Edited December 29, 2017 by neko

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Good news is you already know it's over, keep it up! It also sounds like you have some good friends, hang out with them. Now there is nothing wrong with buying people things especially if it's on an equal ratio and equal in income. So spending money on others unidirectionally might have been a good-bad lesson for you. Besides those items all of the other behavior should be a warning sign for the future.

 

Cry, be sad, mope for a bit and then move on to better things.

 

It's going to suck for a while but you'll live and be better for it.

[Maids]

Thank you all so much for these comments ! I love this forum, honestly. It's my go-to. I'm glad to know i'm not being selfish or conceited in this situation. He may be getting kicked to the curb tonight at the rate he's going.

[Guest Mister Grey]

I am unsure as to why is not kicked to the curb already?

 

He's garbage.

 

And you, my dear, cannot continue to allow anyone to treat you like this.  Scrape this turd off your shoe and take a lot more time choosing someone to be involved with.  you owe that to yourself.

[neko]

After all the advice you're only thinking about breaking it off with this guy? I don't even know what to say any more.

[Little Illy]

Um.... possibly an unpopular opinion... but... this could have been avoided...

 

Well, I'm kinda new to this DDLG thing. I always had Little tendancies, but I never knew what the hell it was. So, I started experimenting and I eventually found my first Daddy Dom, Bo. Now I'm not an unreasonable person at all, I tend to be overly empathetic and try to understand the biggest of assholes and try to morph into what they want of me.

 

Right off the bat, the first few months were hell. He was lied to me a few times, made me cry a bit.. but I stuck with him because it's a new relationship, shit is going to happen, we're still figuring eachother out.

 

Fast forward to 11 months from then. I was under his collar for a year. I did EVERYTHING for this dude. Honestly, my friends say that /I/ was the Daddy and he was the little.

 

He wasn't employed, so I never really got any rewards like a majority of my friends did. He didn't know how to Daddy, he let me stay up till fuckin' 5 am, let me throw hissy fits (very petty ones probably because I wanted to snuggie or watch more little shows and not go to bed) He was just, not really guiding me.

 

I wanted to shape him into being a little more strict with me but he kept claiming that he doesn't know how because he hates upsetting me in the slightest. 

 

 

What I am hearing is two things (based only off of your side of things in this post):

 

1. He has no idea where he really stands in this dynamic. He may identify as a DD because that is what you wanted from him, or what he expects of himself. But from what I have read, he doesn't know. Maybe he is a switch, maybe he is a little. Maybe he is realizing he doesn't really like the dynamic. It sounds like he is unsure of things and may be feeling pressured into being a Daddy. This could very well be why he is pulling away, why he doesn't give rules, etc.

 

2. It also seems like you are trying to make him into something you want, not something that is happening naturally. Trying to change yourself and force him into a role to fit the DDlg dynamic is not healthy. Neither of you will be happy, neither of you are being your natural self and the relationship is not stable. If neither of you are free to be who you are... the relationship will not last and resentment will sink in. As it seems it did.

 

All in all - it looks like you two were not compatible from the beginning. And honestly, I don't see that as anyone's fault. No one is fake, an asshole or in the wrong. It just seems like there was a HUGE lack of communication and things didn't pan out.

[Maids]

I sent him a message, cutting him off.

 

http://prntscr.com/hu1wcc

 

It felt good to cut him off.

[Little Illy]

I just want to point out - no Daddy is a fake  just because they're not right for you...

[Lichtje]

I’m proud of you for drawing a line, that’s not easy to do. Especially not if you were under someones collar. Good job I hope the hurt goes away soon

[Guest Zephy]

It was most likely the best decision to end this as it felt unhealthy for both of you.

I hope you can move on and realize you both just weren't meant for each other, no amount of gifts or pressure would've changed him into your ideal Daddy.