Awkward Friendship...Help?

[switch_ddlg]

Okay I will try to keep this short.

 

This girl (I will call her M) has been my friend for 4 years (since we were 15). I didn't discover DDLG until I was eighteen. I never even tried telling her about it either when I found out what it was and my Daddy and I got into a relationship.

 

She says she isn't into DDLG because she could never call her partner Daddy or anything similar. Anyways, she knows that I have been looking for sort of a female caregiver (a non-sexual one) for when my Daddy is gone. Since she found out about my caregiver search she has been doing some really weird things.

 

Some examples:

1. She bought be stuffies for Christmas, and a dino egg bath bomb with a toy inside, and my favorite candies.

2. She's been spoiling me any chance she gets.

3. She gave me a baby doll.

4. For my birthday she bought me princess coloring books.

5. She told me I could wear my onsies around her, and when I did, she told me I looked cute in it.

6. She offered to diaper me (I was naked from the waist down) when I told her I couldn't do it.

 

Does anyone want to tell me what the H e double hockey sticks is going on?

[DaddysMonkey]

Sounds like she’s kinda into it as far as you explained. Take the ride and have fun! .....as long as it’s all consensual and your Daddy is aware.

[JackOfSomeTrades]

Like DaddysMonkey said, if everyone is okay with what's been taking place then it seems your friend is at the very least trying to meet some of the needs she thinks you've been searching for someone to meet.

 

It might be worthwhile at some point to actually talk to her directly about what you've noticed her doing and see what she has to say about it herself so you're both clear about motivations and expectations, if any exist on either side of your evolving friendship.

[MrJohnny]

It sounds to me that she found she wasn't really into the "little" expression of DD/lg, but maybe she IS into the "Mommy" aspect. You may have helped her discover that dynamic within herself, and she is responding to you in gratitude, and as a way of exploring that aspect of her dynamic.

 

The only thing possibly harmful in this situation would be if it makes you uncomfortable, which it seems it might. If so then she should be made aware of that. If you are, however, comfortable with her expressions, then you both may be getting relational needs met, which is a win/win. Either way, a conversation should happen between you both.

 

Also, there is the question of your existing relational dynamic with your Daddy, as to how this might affect him and your relationship together. There isn't any indication in your post that you have talked with him about this. This is only my opinion, but I think THAT is who you should have asked first.

 

Yes, this Community is a very valuable resource, but, again, in my opinion, we should never be your first source of advice if you have a committed CareGiver in your llife.

[switch_ddlg]

I have talked to my Daddy about all of this. He agrees that she may be into the dynamic but doesn't know how to go about being a Caregiver because she is so new to it. If she wanted to be a Caregiver for me, my Daddy already agreed it was a good idea. Before any of the things I listed above happened, he told me he could pick up on things that suggested she was interested in the Dynamic. I am also not uncomfortable with the idea of it, but I'm not exactly comfortable with it either. The only reason I am not completely comfortable with it is that I don't know if she actually into it or not, or if I am making wronged assumptions. If she was to outright tell me that she liked it and wanted to do it, I would be comfortable with it. She already knows my rules and tries my best to help me follow them. She is also really close friends with my Daddy, and when we all three hang out, she doesn't let me be a brat towards him AT ALL. 

 

Sounds like she’s kinda into it as far as you explained. Take the ride and have fun! .....as long as it’s all consensual and your Daddy is aware.

It is okay with my Daddy and if she wanted to be my caregiver it would be 100% consensual.

 

 

It might be worthwhile at some point to actually talk to her directly about what you've noticed her doing and see what she has to say about it herself so you're both clear about motivations and expectations, if any exist on either side of your evolving friendship.

I've thought about this but I have no idea how to ask her directly about it. I'm very new to letting her know about my type of lifestyle so it still scares me to tell her certain things. I'm afraid I will scare her off somehow.

 

 

A- The only thing possibly harmful in this situation would be if it makes you uncomfortable, which it seems it might. If so then she should be made aware of that. If you are, however, comfortable with her expressions, then you both may be getting relational needs met, which is a win/win. Either way, a conversation should happen between you both.

 

B- Also, there is the question of your existing relational dynamic with your Daddy, as to how this might affect him and your relationship together. There isn't any indication in your post that you have talked with him about this. This is only my opinion, but I think THAT is who you should have asked first.

 

Yes, this Community is a very valuable resource, but, again, in my opinion, we should never be your first source of advice if you have a committed CareGiver in your llife.

A- It doesn't really make me uncomfy, but again, I have no idea how to talk to her about things because it scares me a bit.

B- My Daddy knows and supports the idea of me wanting a caregiver for while he is gone. We have already established the rules, who can and can't be my caregiver, etc. He thinks she would make a great caregiver for me for many reasons. I'm just scared and don't want to lose my only friend.

[JackOfSomeTrades]

I've thought about this but I have no idea how to ask her directly about it. I'm very new to letting her know about my type of lifestyle so it still scares me to tell her certain things. I'm afraid I will scare her off somehow.

 

From what you've said about her level of knowledge of your rules, etc, and what you've described she has already somewhat taken part in doing with you, I'd honestly be *very* surprised if you scared her off.

 

If she is close friends with both you and your Daddy then perhaps it's a conversation that you could all have together. Your Daddy might be able to help you cope with your fears about talking to her about it.