Confused.... Is he not interested?

[Guest Lonely-Little]

I didn't hide my excitement over my husband/daddy finding out about my little side, but now I don't know if that was a good thing. He was so excepting and willing to become my daddy once he understood what it was that I wanted, now things seem different. He was so up for seeing my little side, but it took time for me to be comfortable showing it.... Maybe it took too long. Now I call him daddy or start going into little space and it's like he doesn't notice or doesn't care. When he first found out he started calling me little names and doing "daddy" things, but now he no doesn't call me any of the names he started using or do the "daddy" things he was doing. I don't know what to think or how to bring it up to him because I'm worried he's going to say it isn't for him..... I just feel confused about all of it. Any advice would be very much appreciated!

[Guest SilverKnight]

Talk to him openly. Firstly maybe ask if he still wants to be your daddy, and if he says yes then explain what you would like him to do that he currently isn't doing

[Guest Lonely-Little]

Talk to him openly. Firstly maybe ask if he still wants to be your daddy, and if he says yes then explain what you would like him to do that he currently isn't doing

I can try, but I'm worried that it will make him mad and he will just say forget it. My anxiety goes through the roof every time I even think about him not wanting to be my daddy. Thank you though!

Edited December 28, 2017 by His-Little-One

[JackOfSomeTrades]

As with most everything, you should definitely openly communicate with him about it. You should also try not to guess what is going on since you may end up projecting your worries onto him instead which may cloud nine how you approach the topic with him.

 

You are of course in a better position to judge this, but simply starting off with a direct, "do you still want to be my Daddy?" could make him defensive right off the bat as though he's done something wrong. There could be a lot of other contributing factors.

 

Perhaps even just start with talking about your own feelings about it. You said it took some time for you to feel comfortable showing you little side, so that might be a good starting point.

[Guest Lonely-Little]

As with most everything, you should definitely openly communicate with him about it. You should also try not to guess what is going on since you may end up projecting your worries onto him instead which may cloud nine how you approach the topic with him.

You are of course in a better position to judge this, but simply starting off with a direct, "do you still want to be my Daddy?" could make him defensive right off the bat as though he's done something wrong. There could be a lot of other contributing factors.

Perhaps even just start with talking about your own feelings about it. You said it took some time for you to feel comfortable showing you little side, so that might be a good starting point.

Thank you so much! That could definitely be a good starting point. Him getting defensive is exactly what I've been worried about becaise knowing him he will say forget it. Thank you so much.

[neko]

The only thing you can do is to have an adult conversation about it.

 

You're worried he is going to say it's not for him but avoiding it isn't going to help anything. Your anxiety will only get worse if you just speculate and make assumptions. Things will not get better if you do not lay out all your feelings.

[Guest Lonely-Little]

That's true but scary at the same time. Thank you

[JackOfSomeTrades]

Thank you so much! That could definitely be a good starting point. Him getting defensive is exactly what I've been worried about becaise knowing him he will say forget it. Thank you so much.

I may or may not have some experience being the one being defensive in these sorts of situations so that's why it jumped out at me.

[Guest Lonely-Little]

I may or may not have some experience being the one being defensive in these sorts of situations so that's why it jumped out at me.

I can understand how that can put you on the defensive end of things. That's why it's so hard for me to bring it up. Thanks for reaching out about it.

[daddysbabyharley]

I wish I had sure fire advice on how this would work. unfortunately I am having the same issues myself with my daddy. It doesn't seem like he's interested anymore or anything like that. I have decided though that I would talk to him about it when we have some adult time and calmly tell him my concerns. I have found that if I voice it as "I am feeling like this may not be working because I......" it helps. sometimes stating your feelings and reasons behind your feelings helps open the conversation and doesn't put the other person on the defensive. For example, next time I am able to seriously talk to Daddy (away from distractions) I plan on saying something like "I don't feel like I'm getting what I expected out of this dynamic because I feel like I annoy you when I'm in little space too much." I am hoping by wording it that way it will start the conversation and not make him feel like I'm blaming him or anything.

Most importantly, you know your daddy the best. You know how to word things that can get the conversation started and your point across without causing it to blow up into an argument or not result in a conclusion that isn't beneficial to the both of you. I would recommend you have the conversation in adult space though and free from any distractions that may be around. All relationships take communtication and DDLG isn't any different. Hope that helps and feel free to contact me anytime