Profile Rating & Suggestions Request

[MrJohnny]

There is a very good topic (found here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/28482-friends-vs-relationships/ ) about how to be a more involved member of this Community, and how to become better known by it in the interest of both actively being here, and also getting specific needs met here.

 

I took Illy's advice and invested some time to work on improving my Profile toward both of those goals. I am asking for other members of the Community to visit my Profile and do 2 things: Give it a Star rating, and offer suggestions on things I should include as well as anything you think I have included which perhaps I should consider removing or revising.

 

I will be very appreciative of anyone's help and take suggestions with an open mind and grateful heart.

 

My thanks, in advance!   

[Guest SUeB]

Never a good idea to ask for star ratings. They are given by choice, not by request. Gives a bad impression of you if you feel the need to ask for them.

[MrJohnny]

Thanks for the feedback. Maybe I do feel that need. If so, I would prefer to express that honestly than be concerned about "making a good impression". I read in another post somewhere that the Star Rating is of my Profile only, not my person, so I am not really concerned that my asking that my Profile be rated for the reasons I discussed gives a bad impression. My concern is for the quality of the Profile itself, and on how well it introduces me as a member of this Community.

 

Before I read the post I referred to in this reply I was not aware that Profiles could be rated. I am kinda new to the whole Forum experience so I am still unaware of some of the common protocols. Maybe others are new to this too, and maybe this can help someone else. If so it is worth risking another person's less than flattering opinon of me. I can even bear up under the uncomfortable feeling that I have now been publicly called out for something I personally see no harm in.

 

I am content to let the involved members of this Community decide for themselves. You are but one voice, and you have been heard. Thanks again. However I will let the post, and the request remain active. Only time will tell whether I was wise or foolish in this decision, but how is that any different from any other decision I make either here or IRL? "Never a good idea"? Not all of mine are, but I have accepted the consequences of those which were not, and shall continue to do so.

 

"They are given by choice, not by request." Says who? If you choose to deny a request that is up to you. If you are introducing me to protocol I was unaware of then that is another matter entirely. But I think protocols (as opposed to rules) are established by popular usage, and that can change. Maybe if the Community (of which I am a member too) permits we should allow that. If it is a matter of violating a rule, I have experience that there are Moderators and Admins who will correct me.  As I said, time will tell.

[peter6111]

To be frank, fuck the star ratings. Litterally no one's using them anyways, and it's a really flawed system in general. I'm half-expecting the star rating to be pulled from the site anytime soon, by our hardworking admins

[Guest SUeB]

Never said you couldn't ask for them. But it shows neediness and a cry for reassurance and acceptance. Not that attractive, i am sure you can at least agree on that.

You can ask for anything you like, that's your choice.

But yes, you asked for feedback and i gave you mine. You aren't always going to get positive feedback, when you specifically ask for it.

[MrJohnny]

I think what you mean to say is "Not that attractive to me."  I hear you, and I can live with that.

 

I was aware ahead of time that not every feedback I received would be positive. I am an adult, and reasonably intelligent. I guess what threw me off was getting feedback on something other than what I asked for feedback on. I was actually asking for feedback on my Profile, not asking for feedback on asking for my Profile to be rated. But even so, I think your feedback had another bonus value for me. I used to accept any and all criticism of my person, my decisions, and my actions as unquestionable, and never defended myself because of low self-esteem. While, as you deftly perceived,  I still feel somewhat unsure of myself (especially when I deliberately "put myself out there") I am learning to defend myself. I hate arguments, but some are worth having. Perhaps this has been one of those for me. Even so, I would just as soon be done arguing this.

 

BTW, I like how the CAPS in your username spell "sub". Nice touch.

Edited December 27, 2017 by MrJohnny

[Guest SUeB]

No argument needed. That wasn't my intention. But if the interaction gave anything of value, then it's all good.

And thank you. Just funny that my name almost spells out what i am, lol.