Lacking affection, please help worried little

[Littleshiver]

I'm really not sure where to put this, but I really don't have anyone I can talk to about this.

I'm so in love with my daddy we have been together for almost 8 months and he is my first ever relationship so it's a HUGE deal for me that I've found someone not only that I have so much in common with but so attracted to and in love with.

I feel like for a while now he hasn't been giving me the affection that I do desperately need, I feel like his my whole world and I'm constantly giving him every piece of myself and my love but he's not really doing the same.

I want him to treat me like I'm precious treasure. I know this all sound UNBELIEVABLY conceded and selfish. I'm just such an unbelievably sensitive person and I have a LOT of self esteem issues with I working so hard to try to work through. And my brain see little affection into zero affection and he's not that into me.

( I have talked to him SOOOOO much about this and I feel like it hasn't changed and if not getting worse) I'm so unbelievably scared to put this online we're there's a chance he could see it but the thought of going It the new year with the makes me feel ill)

I also think it's important to say that I have bpd so maybe that has something to do with (I wouldn't be shocked if it did, I mean why wouldn't it)

Thank you If you got to the end of this absolute mess I would REALLY appreciate any and all help.

(Also we are in a long distance relationship but have met a few times now I feel like that is relevant information )

Edited December 26, 2017 by Littleshiver

[Little Illy]

Honestly? If you have truly conveyed your needs about this, and he hasn't reciprocated there are three possibilities:

 

1. He is incapable of giving you want you want because you two require two different things in a relationship. Aka, yall aren't compatible and NO ONE is at fault. It happens. I know it sucks because this relationship is a big deal for you for many reasons. But, it happens and it may be the case here.

 

2. The communication hasn't been as clear as he needs to understand. Sometimes we feel like we have explained ourselves when in reality we have presented a muddled explanation. He may be doing his best, but his understanding just isn't there. Which means, make sure you are having conversations outside of the dynamic. Boyfriend to girlfriend, not Daddy to little.

 

3. He doesn't care. I hate to be blunt, but it an be happening. He may hear your needs and just doesn't feel like meeting them. Again, as the first option, it happens. It sucks, but it can happen. But you need to determine if staying with him is worth this sinking feeling of not being paid attention to.

[Littleshiver]

. Edited December 26, 2017 by Littleshiver

[Littleshiver]

I wasn't sure if I replied to your reply on my topic thingie

Thank you very much for responding.

I'm truly truly hope with all my heart that I just haven't explained it clearly enough or how serious of a problem I find it being I REALLY don't know what I'll do if that's not the case.

[Guest Zephy]

I think because you resorted to posting this online, on a forum he's part of as well, this is something pretty serious to you and affecting your happiness and the relationship.

In a relationship being open and honest to your partner is very important, so I'd say tell him about this thread first and second you both need to have another talk.

 

It's pretty common in a lot of relationships, that when you first get into it, you're into a certain phase. You're infatuated and so much in love with each other. Everything seems so perfect till some time passes by, and one of you start feeling distant and growing out of it. Now, I'm not saying this is the case with your relationship as there could very well be other things going on, because often-times people also forget that in every relationship there are moments when things aren't going to go well. Be it some argument or some things one of you are having a difficult time dealing with.

 

I think it's very important to have a time-out and to communicate as just two adults, having a conversation that discusses all of the current problems without being vague or dropping hints. I don't know since how long things haven't been going well from your perspective, but there could be a possibility your boyfriend is dealing with some things too, maybe with school, work, family, mental illness, etc., so give him time to explain himself too and not just make it all about you. If from this conversation you both are unable to find common grounds or it simply leading to petty arguments over something as serious as this, I would say you guys just weren't meant to be and it would be best to move on.

 

I just tend to believe, it's always best to talk things out, however only as long as the other person is willing to and showing he/she cares enough to, otherwise you're just going to drag something that was bound to fail and end up hurting yourself more over it.

 

I wish you good luck!

[Littleshiver]

Thank you so much for replying we are in the middle of sorting things out, hopefully for the long term. I just need to remember communication is the most important thing I usually talk myself out of it by thinking I'm being annoying or selfish and I tend to let thing bottle up until I explode yet another thing I'm working very hard to work through. Just thank you for responding it means a lot Edited December 26, 2017 by Littleshiver

[Forever]

hope it all work out for you!

 

only thing i can say is that i was in some long distance relationship with a little before, i am a daddy who sometimes is clingy and needy too and want to spend time with his little, when my previous little was ''away'' all the time i become more needy everyday and that in the end broke our relationship sadly .

 

what i try to say is how more you tell him he needs to ''change'' how more you probally push him away! give it some time let him miss you but still try to be his nice little!

 

hope everything is gonna be fine in the end!

 

 

PS: my main language isnt English so sorry for the bad grammer

[Joe]

Best of luck!! I hope things get better.