How to deal with attachment anxiety/OCD worry?

[Guest CaseySnow-]

So, I have OCD and I will obsess over little thoughts that freak me out over and over, i get really attached to someone and if they go like a day or more without texting I get really bad anxiety because I have bad seperation/detachment anxiety with people I get attached to and I will freak out and worry over them. Is there anyway to deal with this and stop it? It's just not a good quality for a CG to have.

[Guest Sillylittlemouse]

I am not to sure on this. Though if you get help or not you will find someone that will enjoy you no matter what! (:

 

I normally message my fiance a million times a day and annoy him. I try to keep myself busy. I color, clean, work out, whatever! Just so i wont be tempted. I am getting better but still send 1 or 2 messages while he is working. >.<

[Guest CaseySnow-]

The person enjoys me, just, I have bad trust issues and attachment issues and when I actually do, I can't go days without talking to them, I'll get scared and nervous and really anxious, I have bad depression caused from stuff so it spikes when I don't get to talk to them lmao

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

I have no experience with this issue, hopefully this thread will help:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23781-helping-littles-with-issues-like-abandonment/

[Guest Arc]

I don't think I'm as bad as that, but when my Daddy doesn't reply for a long time I do worry that something has happened to him. He struggles a bit with mental health and if he's had a rough day or something I do worry a lot if I don't hear from him or see him.

 

I wish I could give you an easy fix to this, but I'm still learning myself and different things work for different people. But basically if my Daddy knows he's going to be unable to respond for hours or a full day he lets me know in advance that he won't be able to talk for that time. He gives me a time when he should be back when he can too, so that I can try hold off my worrying by telling myself how many minutes or hours until I hear from him, and then my mind can settle when he texts or calls or stops by to visit. So maybe something like that could help you a bit? If your partner knows they'll be unable to talk for a time then they give you warning in advance so you can prepare for time without hearing from them.

 

And honestly it doesn't even take 30 seconds to type out a text checking in. "I'm okay, but I'm busy so will talk later" takes no time at all to type out. They could easily do that while on the toilet or walking somewhere or something. And if they're with company it's easy enough to say "excuse me, but I just have to let my partner know I'm okay." There are few reasons you should have to go a day or more without hearing anything from someone. 

 

Just do small things and see what works. Arrange occasional check ins, ask them to let you know in advance when they will be gone for longer than a certain amount of time, and be as understanding as possible.  

[emmyvigneron]

I'm really bad about this. Major trust issues on my end and I freak out when he doesn't respond to me in a certain time frame depending on what's he's doing. My trust issues are directly tied into him doing something wrong like cheating not getting hurt or anything "normal" to worry about.

 

What's helped me is being honest about my anxiety with him. I straight up told him deep down I *do* trust him and I *know* he's worthy of said trust but when my anxiety is in full force I can't bring myself to trust him. He's very understanding and after having that conversation he makes more of an effort to check in, keep me updated, etc. Even if he's super busy and just sends me a heart emoji.

 

Another thing that helped tremendously was realizing I needed to have an identity outside of him and this may not be a part of your problem, but getting some hobbies helped ease my anxiety and distract me from his absense. I started making candles and painting. The candles are surprisingly easy and satisfying to make. Painting is less satisfying because I'm not very good but it still distracts my mind.