In distress. Help me.

[BabyLie]

Hello.

 

I think I have a problem.. It's been a few weeks since I realized.

I don't know how I'm going to say it, I don't even know if it will makes sense. (Btw sorry for my bad English, I'm French)

 

I'm 21 and I am sad. I really am. Every day, every moment.

I am just sad.

Am I normal ? What is happening with me ? I used to be so happy, I used to laugh, I used to have a smile on my face all the time.

But now. I'm just crying all the time. I'm always upset, I am sad.

Everything makes me cry. Everything.

It's been a while now, I just ignored this madness.

But now it's eating me.

I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I just want to never wake up.

I used to love life so much.

Now I hate it. I hate myself. I'm scared of myself .

I'm so alone. I'm just alone. I have friends who really love me. I love them so much.

But I'm feeling so alone. I just want it to stop. I just want it to get better.

I'm so scared to be alone. I'm scared of myself. I'm scared to face myself.

I'm tired.

I don't think people realize it. I'm a good liar. But I can't do it anymore.

I do crisis after crisis.

I was not like that. I want to be my old self.

Please help me.

Edited December 19, 2017 by Lilie

[PrincessClara]

J'espère que cela se traduit bien pour vous.

 

Vous êtes aux prises avec la dépression. Il semble que ce soit plutôt mauvais, alors vous devriez vraiment aller voir votre médecin. Ils peuvent recommander des médicaments pour vous aider et il est OK d'avoir à prendre ce médicament. Ne laissez pas les gens vous dire autrement simplement parce qu'il y a un stigmate entourant la dépression et la santé mentale en général. Personne ici ne peut vous aider car nous ne sommes pas médecins et ne sommes pas en mesure de vous voir en personne pour faire le genre de travail qui doit être fait pour trouver la bonne réponse pour vous. Vous n'avez peut-être besoin d'autre chose qu'un changement de routine ou de décor ou quelque chose d'aussi simple que ça.  S'il vous plaît, parlez à votre médecin et demandez de l'aide pour gérer cette maladie mentale. Tu es important aussi!

 

***** Translation *** 

 

I hope this translates okay for you. 

 

You are struggling with depression. It sounds like it's pretty bad so you should really go see your doctor. They may recommend medication to help you and it is OKAY to have to take this medication. Do not let people tell you otherwise just because there is a stigma surrounding depression and mental health in general. Nobody here can help you as we are not doctors and are not able to see you in person to do the kinds of work that needs to be done to find the correct answer for you. You may not need anything other than a change in routine or scenery or something else simple like that. Please go speak to your doctor and get help to manage this mental illness. You're important too! 

Edited December 18, 2017 by PrincessClara

[Wolfycheeks]

It's called Depression, and many many many people have it. Find a therapist and get help ASAP so you can hopefully get better ASAP.

[Guest Mister Grey]

It is good that you reached out, even in the forum.  There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone.  Go seek a mental health professional and let them help you.

 

 

You took an important step today.

[GeekyPastry]

It sounds like you have depression. It's a very normal thing, but it's best for you to go to a therapist and speak with them. They can give you some tips to cope, and if you need medications they can prescribe you some. I really hope you get better! 

[Guest cyborgbby]

I am really proud of you for taking the time to be compassionate to yourself and opening up.  You are not alone, and the hardest part about feeling depressed and anxious is that it keeps you in a cycle of self-hatred and doubt.   You are more than your bad feelings! You are probably a very sweet, loving person.  Being scared of feeling this way is actually a good thing because it means that you want more, and you know that there is a time where you have felt better.  Life will always have ups and downs, and sometimes we need help getting up when we fall down.  It's okay and people would love to help.  It is so hard to ask for help sometimes but this is the beginning for you.  

You say that you miss your "old self," and I have really great news!! That person is still you!! You need to remind yourself that joy, that light is what keeps you going when the world feels dark.  They are just having a hard time speaking up for themselves right now because the Depression keeps saying, "I hate myself! I am alone! I can't change!"  but you're still here.  You have both sides and you have put a lot of time and energy into feeding the bad feelings.  I do it too.  

When I feel like you do right now, I make a list of all of the good qualities people have said about me, or feelings I've had about myself when I felt good, and it helps soothe me.  Also, keep writing about the way you feel, and hold yourself accountable to getting help.  You want to talk and you deserve to. 
<3 <3 
 

[BabyLie]

 

J'espère que cela se traduit bien pour vous.

 

Vous êtes aux prises avec la dépression. Il semble que ce soit plutôt mauvais, alors vous devriez vraiment aller voir votre médecin. Ils peuvent recommander des médicaments pour vous aider et il est OK d'avoir à prendre ce médicament. Ne laissez pas les gens vous dire autrement simplement parce qu'il y a un stigmate entourant la dépression et la santé mentale en général. Personne ici ne peut vous aider car nous ne sommes pas médecins et ne sommes pas en mesure de vous voir en personne pour faire le genre de travail qui doit être fait pour trouver la bonne réponse pour vous. Vous n'avez peut-être besoin d'autre chose qu'un changement de routine ou de décor ou quelque chose d'aussi simple que ça.  S'il vous plaît, parlez à votre médecin et demandez de l'aide pour gérer cette maladie mentale. Tu es important aussi!

 

***** Translation *** 

 

I hope this translates okay for you. 

 

You are struggling with depression. It sounds like it's pretty bad so you should really go see your doctor. They may recommend medication to help you and it is OKAY to have to take this medication. Do not let people tell you otherwise just because there is a stigma surrounding depression and mental health in general. Nobody here can help you as we are not doctors and are not able to see you in person to do the kinds of work that needs to be done to find the correct answer for you. You may not need anything other than a change in routine or scenery or something else simple like that. Please go speak to your doctor and get help to manage this mental illness. You're important too! 

 

Thank you. It's pretty hard for me to go see a doctor because I will never be able to afford a therapist. I don't know what to do. I will never hurt myself. Not physically. 

 

Thank you so much for your reply

[BabyLie]

I am really proud of you for taking the time to be compassionate to yourself and opening up.  You are not alone, and the hardest part about feeling depressed and anxious is that it keeps you in a cycle of self-hatred and doubt.   You are more than your bad feelings! You are probably a very sweet, loving person.  Being scared of feeling this way is actually a good thing because it means that you want more, and you know that there is a time where you have felt better.  Life will always have ups and downs, and sometimes we need help getting up when we fall down.  It's okay and people would love to help.  It is so hard to ask for help sometimes but this is the beginning for you.  

 

You say that you miss your "old self," and I have really great news!! That person is still you!! You need to remind yourself that joy, that light is what keeps you going when the world feels dark.  They are just having a hard time speaking up for themselves right now because the Depression keeps saying, "I hate myself! I am alone! I can't change!"  but you're still here.  You have both sides and you have put a lot of time and energy into feeding the bad feelings.  I do it too.  

 

When I feel like you do right now, I make a list of all of the good qualities people have said about me, or feelings I've had about myself when I felt good, and it helps soothe me.  Also, keep writing about the way you feel, and hold yourself accountable to getting help.  You want to talk and you deserve to. 

<3 <3 

 

Thank you so much for your reply. 

It really warms my heart. Thank you so much

[Guest TotalitarianPrincess]

I am proud of you for opening up and reaching out. Let me tell you that I know it's difficult to motivate yourself and tell yourself that you deserve help when the self-depreciating thoughts don't go away. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live. You deserve to not feel this way. You do not deserve to feel sad every moment of every day.

Okay, some practical advice:

Get help. France has universal health care and most doctors will provide treatment at no cost to you. There are programs to provide financial assistance if you cannot afford a psychiatrist. There are hotlines to call if you have no other option. And there are apps that specialize in low-cost therapy. I implore you, seek treatment. Get better. Live the life that you were meant to live. 

[BabyLie]

I am proud of you for opening up and reaching out. Let me tell you that I know it's difficult to motivate yourself and tell yourself that you deserve help when the self-depreciating thoughts don't go away. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live. You deserve to not feel this way. You do not deserve to feel sad every moment of every day.

Okay, some practical advice:

Get help. France has universal health care and most doctors will provide treatment at no cost to you. There are programs to provide financial assistance if you cannot afford a psychiatrist. There are hotlines to call if you have no other option. And there are apps that specialize in low-cost therapy. I implore you, seek treatment. Get better. Live the life that you were meant to live. 

 

I just don't want my family to know about it.. I'm scared they will know about it if I see someone. I want someone to help me, but it so hard to accept it and to do the first step

[Guest TotalitarianPrincess]

Look, you don't have to tell your family if you don't want to. That's what's so great about doctors. They're bound by confidentiality. I've found that telling my family has made them a bit more understanding. But obviously you don't have to. I don't know your situation, so I don't want to suggest something that might possibly cause you harm. 

The fist step is admitting that you have a problem. And you have. And it's okay to struggle. The next step is to get help. Getting help is your best chance at getting better. Therapy really does help. I know it's scary and sometimes you just don't want anyone to know because if no one knows, you can pretend that nothing's wrong. But it's likely that someone has noticed. They just don't want to cause trouble.

You say you have people you love and care about. Sometimes, if you can't find the motivation to fight for yourself, you need to fight for the people you love.

[BabyLie]

Look, you don't have to tell your family if you don't want to. That's what's so great about doctors. They're bound by confidentiality. I've found that telling my family has made them a bit more understanding. But obviously you don't have to. I don't know your situation, so I don't want to suggest something that might possibly cause you harm. 

The fist step is admitting that you have a problem. And you have. And it's okay to struggle. The next step is to get help. Getting help is your best chance at getting better. Therapy really does help. I know it's scary and sometimes you just don't want anyone to know because if no one knows, you can pretend that nothing's wrong. But it's likely that someone has noticed. They just don't want to cause trouble.

You say you have people you love and care about. Sometimes, if you can't find the motivation to fight for yourself, you need to fight for the people you love.

 

I am not okay, I know that and that's what scare me, I know I am not okay, I accept it I don't have choice, but it's so hard to accept the fact that I have a problem..It sounds wrong and it's shameful. 

I will try to get help, but I'm so not ready, it's weird, it's not me

[Guest TotalitarianPrincess]

I am not okay, I know that and that's what scare me, I know I am not okay, I accept it I don't have choice, but it's so hard to accept the fact that I have a problem..It sounds wrong and it's shameful. 

I will try to get help, but I'm so not ready, it's weird, it's not me

it is not shameful. It is never shameful. You are going through something rough. And everyone eventually goes through problems. You just need to push through it. You need to help yourself. Go ahead and shoot me a message. I'll do my best to provide resources

[DaddyHeathen]

Lile, 

 

Those who have replied have covered the depression, most tactfully and sincerely, so I can't add to that but I will say this: The part I am quoting from you below resounds with so many people. Your thoughts, so eloquently put, are thoughts so deeply felt by so many people. Thank you for writing it the way you did. To be honest if it had the name Sylvia Plath on it (and I am no expert but have read some Plath) I would not have questioned it.

What you need is not 'help', per se, but you need to TALK to someone. Someone you trust and someone who understands. This community is safe for you, the fact that you posted that here tells me that you know that, but it may not be enough.

 

Having said that, there are a LOT of people here who would talk, I think that would be a good idea,

 

I am not offering myself, this seems beyond my ken if I am honest, but there are many here more suited to the task. I hope you find them, I truly do.

 

Be safe, be well but keep being YOU

 

Editing this in. Please, please, consider calling any of these numbers that are relevant to you. Please, they may help you.

 

 

I am just sad.
Am I normal ? What is happening with me ? I used to be so happy, I used to laugh, I used to have a smile on my face all the time.
But now. I'm just crying all the time. I'm always upset, I am sad.
Everything makes me cry. Everything.
It's been a while now, I just ignored this madness.
But now it's eating me.
I don't know what to do.
Sometimes I just want to never wake up.
I used to love life so much.
Now I hate it. I hate myself. I'm scared of myself .
I'm so alone. I'm just alone. I have friends who really love me. I love them so much.
But I'm feeling so alone. I just want it to stop. I just want it to get better.
I'm so scared to be alone. I'm scared of myself. I'm scared to face myself.
I'm tired.
I don't think people realize it. I'm a good liar. But I can't do it anymore.
I do crisis after crisis.
I was not like that. I want to be my old self.
Please help me. 

Edited December 21, 2017 by DaddyHeathen

[Lily-minji]

ll

Edited February 18, 2018 by Lily-minji