daddy troubles

[Guest bbAmalthea]

My daddy and I have  a long distance relationship, and as I'm sure most of you know, this comes with many issues. But they can be avoided pretty easily in my opinion. But. Anyways. Daddy and I have been together for about a week now and had been texting for a few months before that. I'm beginning to feel uncertain, though, in this relationship. Our most common form of communication is texting on snapchat. I require LOTS of attention, kind of a given though, and I get left on read A LOT. Half the messages i send dont get replys. And they arent messages that dont require responses, most of them do or are me trying to continue the conversation when i feel like he isnt really there. I've brought it up to him before and he didnt really acknowledge it and i dont really know what to do anymore.

sorry for rambling so much, but my question is what do i do? do i give him another chance or do i just end it?

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Umm... Well given the details you've provided, I'd say give it time if you REALLY really want to- otherwise yeah, end it and move on.

What's the point of having him be your Daddy if he's not there half the time?

When you could be putting that energy into finding a Daddy who will be more responsive and blah blah blah. Y'know?

 

(I mean I might be biased because I'm really needy and clingy with my Daddy.)

 

But since you say you've brought it up with him ipso facto made an effort to communicate the problem already, and he's ignored it, there's not much else you can do. I'm sorry to say.

 

Uhhh... Otherwise you could explain the seriousness of its affect on you, by stating that you're ready to leave if it doesn't change? Because maybe he doesn't realize that it's something he's about to lose you over.

 

 

Edit: That first part sounds incredibly cold & insensitive. But I don't mean it to. That's not my POV on ALL relationships, just in this particular scenario. Just wanted to clarify lol

Edited December 15, 2017 by MilkPop

[A Cuddly Dom]

I would reccomend you slow down a bit first, and reflect on a few things. You've been a couple for one week. What kind of responsibilities does he have outside of your relationship? Jobs, kids, friends, and other social interactions are a necessity for almost everyone. Understand that your CG cannot be the be all, end all of your universe, even if he would like to be.

 

I would encourage you to talk to your partner, of course. But, when you're asking if you should just pull the plug, I get the distinct impression that you feel this dynamic is all about you. It isn't. Cg/l is a relationship dynamic, like many others, and requires hard work, sacrifice, and open, honest communication.

 

You can't simply bombard your partner with texts and then have a relationship crisis when he can't get back to you when you feel he should. I don't know his schedule, but I know from experience that getting over six hundred messages a day is overwhelming for anyone not sitting on the couch all day. Maybe have some empathy for your partner first, then have a cool, calm discussion about it.

 

Im not trying to be unfair or mean, but you might benefit from some introspection before you go wrecking your brand new relationship.

[Guest Prat]

You've only been together for a week. Tell him what you want and see how the situation develops. If he consistently doesn't put enough effort, or any, into taking care of you and your needs then he doesn't deserve you. Likewise ask yourself if you're doing the best you can to keep the lines of communication open and healthy and earning his effort.

 

Did either of you suddenly change when you decided to get involved? How experienced are you and your partner?

[Wolfycheeks]

With my first Daddy I was lucky if he responded multiple times troughout the day, because he was SUPER busy with work and his kid and other stuff aswell. Like others said, what are his responsibilities? you can't expect him to put his responsibilities aside to give you attention all the time.. try and entertain yourself while he's gone I guess?

[Guest Mister Grey]

I would reccomend you slow down a bit first, and reflect on a few things. You've been a couple for one week. What kind of responsibilities does he have outside of your relationship? Jobs, kids, friends, and other social interactions are a necessity for almost everyone. Understand that your CG cannot be the be all, end all of your universe, even if he would like to be.

 

I would encourage you to talk to your partner, of course. But, when you're asking if you should just pull the plug, I get the distinct impression that you feel this dynamic is all about you. It isn't. Cg/l is a relationship dynamic, like many others, and requires hard work, sacrifice, and open, honest communication.

 

You can't simply bombard your partner with texts and then have a relationship crisis when he can't get back to you when you feel he should. I don't know his schedule, but I know from experience that getting over six hundred messages a day is overwhelming for anyone not sitting on the couch all day. Maybe have some empathy for your partner first, then have a cool, calm discussion about it.

 

Im not trying to be unfair or mean, but you might benefit from some introspection before you go wrecking your brand new relationship.

 

So you were texting for a few months and you have been a couple for a week?  

 

Like A Cuddly Dom, I think you need to pause and take a minute to look at this with clear eyes.

 

 

I also get the impression that everything was fine for the few months, you became a couple and suddenly how things had progressed for the last few months was not good enough anymore?  Sorry, but that is the impression I am getting and if so…you just need to take a moment and take a deep breath.

 

If he consistently doesn't put enough effort, or any, into taking care of you and your needs then he doesn't deserve you. 

 

Ummm really?  Its been a week and by your own statement you can see that there is probably a lack of experience here to say the least as you asked the question at the end of your post.  Just because she is the poster does not mean she is correct.

Edited December 15, 2017 by Mister Grey

[Guest Prat]

Ummm really?  Its been a week and by your own statement you can see that there is probably a lack of experience here to say the least and you asked the question at the end of your post.  Just because she is the poster does not mean she is correct.

What you quoted from my post isn't what I was trying to say. What I was trying to say, which is a couple lines above what you quoted, is that it's only been a week and she's should give it some time and see how things develop. And after things develop make choices. Which is basically the same as you said, take a moment.

[Guest Mister Grey]

What you quoted from my post isn't what I was trying to say. What I was trying to say, which is a couple lines above what you quoted, is that it's only been a week and she's should give it some time and see how things develop. And after things develop make choices. Which is basically the same as you said, take a moment.

 

My apologies if I misunderstood the statement.

[Guest Prat]

My apologies if I misunderstood the statement.

No problems. I am wondering about the correct part though.

Just because she's the poster doesn't mean she's correct.

It's her post, her side of the story and the only side she can express. And that's what the post is, she's expressing concerns. Saying she's right or wrong makes as much sense as throwing blame around and thinking it will make the situation better.

[Guest Mister Grey]

Communication is the only thing that will make anything better (for her and apparently for me and you)

 

I did not blame her, my point is that there are two sides of the story and hers is only one.  The statement “Just because she is the poster does not mean she is correct.” is meant not just specifically for her but in general terms as well, though I admit I could have relayed the message, and probably should have, in more broad general terms.

 

 

And in the case of this particular situation her post makes me wonder a lot about his side.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

 

The OP did say she's known him longer than a week, they've just been dating a week.

She also said she's already tried communicating with him.

She acknowledged that her messages are response-worthy and not just drivel.

And the same thing applies with assuming that he's genuinely busy with life or something genuinely important- one can also assume he might just be a dick.

 

And yeah, it's ONE side of the conversation. Aren't all topical questions?

But no, the dynamic isn't all about the Little. But it is a relationship and should have an equal share of give and take.

 

Communication means absolutely jack crap if the other person doesn't participate.

So talking, and talking, and talking about the issue is NOT a given solution.

And if she's ultimately feeling neglected and upset about it, after already having spoken about it, there's no reason she should have to stay and work it out.

That's a kinda "I can change him, you'll see" attitude.

 

If anything HE should be schooled in communication, so that he actually straight-up tells her if he's busy because x, y or z.

 

My concern is that I don't want her to end up in a onesided relationship where she's constantly trying to gain his attention and feel cared for, with little given back in return.

But then maybe y'all are just trying to say she should wait a little longer to see if that's the direction it goes in.

 

 

 

 

Tone of voice isn't translated to text, so I'll just add that I'm not speaking defensively or in attack mode (despite my sexy HP gif, which yw). I'm just joining in on the banter. ^-^

[Guest Mister Grey]

Yes, we both acknowledged that she stated she knew him longer than the time they have been dating.

 

yes she may have made an attempt to communicate, but since they have been dating officially a week, it lends itself to that their issue has come up in that week, or they might not have ended up in that week old relationship to begin with, so what your working with is literally 1 week or less of trying to communicate on an issue that raised in that same week.

 

Yes, he may be just a dick, and also goes to assume that she may just be jumping the gun a little bit, again, we are working on one side of the story, and

 

yes, questions generally start with one side, but this question of course is being presented to a forum with 167 users on in just the last hour, so now you have the sides of everyone that responds, including you, including me, but not including the subject of the question…him and its possible that his side of the situation can not only offer insight, but also confirm, alter or completely disagree with her statement of the events leading to the question to begin with

 

communication may or may not offer a solution, but its certainly a good place to start, as technically, your communicating on the subject right now…

 

and absolutely true, a relationship should not be one sided, she should not have to wait around or do anything she doesn’t want to do.  She can leave right now, this second, but look at this post, and your own and the one before that and so on, all engaging advise on a relationship that is 1 week old.  1 week.

 

I agree, she’s should not wait around if she doesn’t want too, but I feel safe in standing firm that she might want to communicate with him.  If that yields no results, then that 1 week relationship, and those months before, don’t mean a hell of a lot and she should maybe take a walk

 

Good luck, i hope it all works out for you, littleluna422

 

 

BTW Milkpop, I’m not being defensive or angry or anything of the sort, just offering a different viewpoint is all…much love

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

 

BTW Milkpop, I’m not being defensive or angry or anything of the sort, just offering a different viewpoint is all…much love

 

 

Nu it's all good, I haven't thought you were. I only added that at the end of mine because tone really doesn't translate well into text and didn't want either you or Prat to think I was being aggressive or purposely argumentative. ^^

[Guest bbAmalthea]

Yes, we both acknowledged that she stated she knew him longer than the time they have been dating.

 

yes she may have made an attempt to communicate, but since they have been dating officially a week, it lends itself to that their issue has come up in that week, or they might not have ended up in that week old relationship to begin with, so what your working with is literally 1 week or less of trying to communicate on an issue that raised in that same week.

 

Yes, he may be just a dick, and also goes to assume that she may just be jumping the gun a little bit, again, we are working on one side of the story, and

 

yes, questions generally start with one side, but this question of course is being presented to a forum with 167 users on in just the last hour, so now you have the sides of everyone that responds, including you, including me, but not including the subject of the question…him and its possible that his side of the situation can not only offer insight, but also confirm, alter or completely disagree with her statement of the events leading to the question to begin with

 

communication may or may not offer a solution, but its certainly a good place to start, as technically, your communicating on the subject right now…

 

and absolutely true, a relationship should not be one sided, she should not have to wait around or do anything she doesn’t want to do.  She can leave right now, this second, but look at this post, and your own and the one before that and so on, all engaging advise on a relationship that is 1 week old.  1 week.

 

I agree, she’s should not wait around if she doesn’t want too, but I feel safe in standing firm that she might want to communicate with him.  If that yields no results, then that 1 week relationship, and those months before, don’t mean a hell of a lot and she should maybe take a walk

 

Good luck, i hope it all works out for you, littleluna422

 

 

 

BTW Milkpop, I’m not being defensive or angry or anything of the sort, just offering a different viewpoint is all…much love

thanks, i did tell him how i feel and i tried to talk to him about it but he just tried to make me feel really bad saying stuff like "how could you even say that to me, if you feel that way we're over then" and went on to (in my opinion) make me feel bad about bringing it up then he broke up with me. he blocked me on snapchat then continued to message me on another app.

[Nobinaryforlittle]

Especially from that last thing you said, he sounds like a dick bag, think about what state you were in when you got togther? Where you really desperate for a daddy? I’ve made mistakes with guys just because I’ve been lonely. Don’t let yourself drop your standards just because you maybe be lonely at the moment. He sounds like an ass especially if you told him and he tried to blame you, that’s called gaslighting and it’s not cool. I’ve been in a similar situation hun and I think you should drop him before you get any more attached

[Nobinaryforlittle]

I mean try not to hang onto the idea of him or be too upset , that’s what I mean by “drop him”

[Guest bbAmalthea]

thanks so much @nobinaryforlittle <3

[Guest Mister Grey]

thanks, i did tell him how i feel and i tried to talk to him about it but he just tried to make me feel really bad saying stuff like "how could you even say that to me, if you feel that way we're over then" and went on to (in my opinion) make me feel bad about bringing it up then he broke up with me. he blocked me on snapchat then continued to message me on another app.

yeah it sounds like this guy is not a daddy at all.  

 

He doesn’t seem to like you questioning his authority which honestly makes me think he’s a poser who is just like the idea of controlling you.  There is a difference between a Dom/sub relationship and a DDlg relationship, though personally doesn’t sound like he is capable of either.

 

A Daddy listens, a Daddy nurtures…he just wants you to do what he says and sit there waiting for when he is ready for you.

 

 

I think you should be glad that you found all this out early on.  I’m sure your disappointed but sounds like your better off without this guy.