I'm afraid my daddy might be hiding something

[8-Bit_Princess666]

My daddy has hidden stuff from me in the past and it wouldn't have bothered me if he had just been open and completely honest with me. We have both grown a great deal since then and have set rules and guidelines for our relationship and I trust him a lot more than I did in the beginning, but recently I'm worried he might be keeping things from me again. I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or if my worry is valid, and I don't want him to feel attacked or as if I don't trust him. I'm just really afraid of getting hurt again because he means the world to me. I was just wondering, how do I deal with these feelings in a healthy way? How do I let him know my fears without sounding like I'm nagging or being repetitive? Edited November 25, 2017 by 8-Bit_Princess666

[Wolfycheeks]

Well, what are you basing your fears off of? You're saying you trust him more yet you think he's hiding something? People who worry about their partner hiding stuff are either: People hiding stuff themselves, insecure people, or paranoid/posessive people. Unless you have a valid reason for your worrying ofcourse.. otherwise, why not just trust him? if he hasn't shown any weird signs like.. well idk, acted different and stuff. Sorry this is hard to explain haha.

[8-Bit_Princess666]

Well, what are you basing your fears off of? You're saying you trust him more yet you think he's hiding something? People who worry about their partner hiding stuff are either: People hiding stuff themselves, insecure people, or paranoid/posessive people. Unless you have a valid reason for your worrying ofcourse.. otherwise, why not just trust him? if he hasn't shown any weird signs like.. well idk, acted different and stuff. Sorry this is hard to explain haha.

I understand where you're coming from, and I am a very insecure person. I realize I may be just projecting my insecurities on my daddy and I know it's not fair, but sometimes I get so down on myself that it's hard to believe that he chose me and continues to do so. I keep having these thoughts that I'm not good enough and since our relationship is long distance at the moment, he may be looking elsewhere to fill the loneliness. I know that's not who he is anymore, I just don't know how to healthily tell myself to stop projecting how insecure I feel. I try to tell myself positive affirmations, it just gets difficult some days and it feels like I'm lying to myself.

[Guest pacibrat]

The problem is that he's already hidden things from you in the past. So, that automatically created a trust issue.  Now, you know that since he's done it once, he might do it again.  The thing is, is that if he told you the first time that he wouldn't do it again and you chose to trust him, then you should try to trust him unless you have a reason not to.  There's really no way of knowing if he's hiding things again or not unless you have proof. 

 

I totally get where you're coming from.  Rebuilding, and keeping, trust is difficult.  You ARE good enough for anyone. NEVER tell yourself any different. Self confidence is very important in a relationship.  Just remember that you're worrying about something that is beyond your control and that you don't know is even happening in reality.  Imagination is a powerful thing.  Don't listen to it. Don't create "what if" scenarios in your head (been there, done that).  Those kinds of thoughts aren't real.  I think you need to re-evaluate and decide if you really do, and can, trust him.

[Wolfycheeks]

I understand where you're coming from, and I am a very insecure person. I realize I may be just projecting my insecurities on my daddy and I know it's not fair, but sometimes I get so down on myself that it's hard to believe that he chose me and continues to do so. I keep having these thoughts that I'm not good enough and since our relationship is long distance at the moment, he may be looking elsewhere to fill the loneliness. I know that's not who he is anymore, I just don't know how to healthily tell myself to stop projecting how insecure I feel. I try to tell myself positive affirmations, it just gets difficult some days and it feels like I'm lying to myself.

'I know that's not who he is anymore'

 

Anymore? I understand your insecurities if this means he was different before. I'd constantly be scared of someone cheating on me if they were like that before, also because (in my opinion) people who cheat don't just change. But that's my expierence haha.

 

Anyways, even if you are insecure about this, all you can do is wait. What happens happens.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

This lifestyle and Dynamic is above all built on trust and communication. Without those things.. it will crash and burn. Talk to him - That's the best advice I can give you. Ask the hard questions - it kinda comes down to 3 things.. either he's hiding something and you guys break up eventually (due to his continuing to do whatever until he finds something shiny or you get fed up and leave... either way you're better off if hes doing shady stuff), He's hiding something and you guys can work through it or its a huge misunderstanding and you guys work through it making your relationship stronger in the end. You have to look at it as a win win situation. You're either going to get away from someone who is potentially toxic or you're going to make a huge step forward in your communication.. Just don't be accusatory, ask the questions from a neutral place and be respectful. Best of Luck, Honey! <3