Is this normal? *TW*

[Guest Bookish-daddys-girl]

When Daddy is gone, I become really depressed. I don't want to do anything other sleep or cry. I have chores to do, daily tasks, schoolwork, and people that depend on me. I am fine with all of that when Daddy is home, but if he is gone, none of it seems to matter. Uninterested is putting it lightly. I actually cry when he leaves for work.... every single day. Daddy suggests that I make something for him to help with being lonely, but I have no interest in it. I do have my good days where I am super energetic and happy but that happens maybe 3-4 a month, if that. My grades thankfully aren't slipping yet, but my responsibilities at home are greatly being neglected. Even my physical health is suffering. I have gained alot of weight and only shower when Daddy talks me into showering with him. I stay dehydrated because I forget to drink anything. Headaches and stomach aches have become a normal occurance.  I feel like I am wasting my life and pushing everyone away. I know I have depression and anxiety. I have such a low self esteem as well. I have tried those "self love" journal exercises, but they just seem silly and pointless. Could this dynamic being contributing to that? Am I codependant? How do I make it stop? I am at a loss.

[Puppy]

Are you sure you're not struggling with depression? Everything I'm reading sounds like it's caused by depression, and is only aggravated further when your source of happiness, your Daddy, is gone. You stated that you can only shower whenever he gets you to shower with him, which says to me that you're also feeling this way whenever he is around (just maybe not as severe as when he leaves.) It does not sound like it's the dynamic causing this, but depression. Have you thought about seeing a professional? 

[Guest Bookish-daddys-girl]

I have thought about professional help, but the anxiety of talking to a random stranger sets in. The only way I was able to type this post was because my picture isn't on here. I am technically still anonymous.

[Puppy]

I have thought about professional help, but the anxiety of talking to a random stranger sets in. The only way I was able to type this post was because my picture isn't on here. I am technically still anonymous.

 

To me it really sounds like you may be suffering with depression (and anxiety, as you've stated.) I get the terror behind talking to a random stranger. It took me years to get help, and for the longest time even on my worst days when I knew everything was out of my control my anxiety still told me that I would not be able to talk to a random stranger. 

It gets to a point where you have to live in the here and now. Do not think about what will happen when you get help, just focus on figuring out how to get help. Talk with your Daddy. Tell him how you're feeling and ask for his help in getting you help. You don't deserve to be suffering and it seems like things are a little more serious than any forum advice can really fix or mend. 

[Guest Bookish-daddys-girl]

Daddy has offered to go sit with me during an appointment. Maybe having him there will help.Thank you for your kind words and advice.

[Puppy]

Daddy has offered to go sit with me during an appointment. Maybe having him there will help.Thank you for your kind words and advice.

 

I hope the best with you. It's very wonderful of your Daddy to offer that and I'm sure it will help. If you ever need someone to talk to who's been there I am always here and pop online throughout the day everyday. 

[kittenofthemall]

Hi! If you don't like the idea of not being anonymous, I'd like to share a website with you.
I discovered it today, and I'm not using it, because I'm seeing a professional IRL already, so I don't really know how it is, but from what I saw, it seems like a very good idea.
It is : betterhelp

I encourage you to go check this out, and see what you think of it.
Unfortunately it isn't free, so if you can't afford it (I think it is around 50$/week, if I remember well), here are some other free websites that could help you!
 

• Comfort Spot: Basically, you create an account (which can be 100% anonymous) and you can share what's making you feel bad, and people in the same situation can answer you and give you advises. I think it's very nice!
• The Thoughts Room: This helps with anxiety. There's background music, and you can spill your guts without anyone knowing because there's nobody behind it (I mean, nobody is really talking to you). It's worth a shot!
• The Depression Chat : It's basically a chat, where you don't even need to register, so it's anonymous, and you can talk to people. There's usually some people online all the time, maybe more at night

 

Okay! I'm done! I hope this will help a little bit. And if you ever feel like you need to talk, and you have nobody to talk to, you can come to me!