making a daddy

[Guest lowkey little]

hey. i wanted to explore something. has anyone successfully actually introduced ddlg to their partner & had a lasting and fulfilling relationship? because it's not really something that seems to have a huge success rate. if i reflect on an ex and that whole situation, he left out the entire emotional dynamic and just used it for sex. i think in most cases, it's unhealthy to try to make your partner into something. you should love them for them, not turn them into an ideal. has any couple started out vanilla and now is in ddlg on top of it?

[DreamingDesire]

I've talked to a few success stories like that online when I first started exploring this dynamic, but of course you're right that most of them don't work out that way. Consider that DD/LG is quite a niche interest that doesn't attract too many people in its entirety. For example, in my country of the Netherlands with 17 million people, I'd roughly estimate about 1700 to be into DDLG. Even if it's 17000, that makes it 1 in 1000. Given those odds, it's no surprise it doesn't work out that well all the time.

 

Regardless, people generally attract someone like them, so there is a reasonable chance that you may find a partner that loves the idea, but simply hasn't been introduced to it yet. Especially because DD/LG isn't anything specific, but more of a descriptive term for the direction you want to take your relationship in. Maybe you could even implement some of the elements that are most important to you, without making it a "full" DD/LG relationship.

 

I agree that it isn't smart to "make" your partner something that (s)he isn't. I left my last relationship as we were fundamentally incompatible on this level, as I recognized trying to make her change makes no sense. Given the odds, it's not too surprising. So I went looking in places where the chance of finding someone looking for the same thing was larger, like this forum. That's working out great so far ♥ Obviously it's not the only way to go, so I hope some vanilla into DD/LG couple shares their experience too.

[Guest SUeB]

He identified "only" as a Dom. Knew literally nothing of ddlg. But i recognised a natural "daddiness" about Him from the first time we started talking. He says He tries to be a good Daddy as well as everything else He is to me, but "good" doesn't even begin to cover it. He IS a Daddy. No question about it.

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I think it's much easier to introduce DDlg if you and your partner already have BDSM/kink as part of your relationship (this was how we got started). You still have to gauge a reaction, but DDlg might seem like peanuts if they have other niche kinks. Although I certainly think it's possible to have success without that background, it's much harder.

[Guest bunnybear11]

I met my daddy through mutual friends, and he knew nothing about ddlg, neither did I even consider telling him at first, he was already a little kinky, and had daddy like tendencies too.

 

I've known about ddlg for many years, probably since I was like 12 because I saw it on tv haha, and I thought it was weird, it was only a few yeas later, when I was about 15 that I discovered it again online, and I related to it to a certain level but never thought it'd be something I'd do, it was only after I was already dating my current bf that I started researching it again, I've always been a huge sub and completely fell in love with the dynamic, I found it that me and my bf already kinda acted like a couple who was involved with ddlg.

 

So after giving it a lot of thought and researching a lottt I told him about it, explaining it as simple as I could and leaving out things that could potentially scare him off, like diapers and binkies (because really at the time I didn't think I would ever be into it, or I just didn't wanna admit it to myself hehehe"), and after a few months we decided to give binkies a try (and it was him idea ^-^ heheh).

 

Honestly ddlg has been amazing to us, it's brought us so much closer and made our relationship so much more special and intimate. But I do understand that it doesn't usually go this smoothly, and some people really aren't fit to be daddies. Don't be scared to give this a try tho, I bet there's many people out there who'd like the dynamic, I'd say just bring it on them slowly, and be patient.

[Puppy]

You cannot "make" a Daddy. Being a Caregiver is a stressful, 24/7, though rewarding thing. Most Doms who get into DDlg and strive at being a Caregiver already had caregiver like qualities about them, and usually were already into BDSM. I mean, you can't truly get into DDlg without at least understanding what BDSM is, and being interested in a power dynamic. 

 

The sad thing is the name "Daddy" took off a few years back and kind of hit the mainstream. Not as DDlg, but more of a very watered down version of it. Sometimes I joke and that those people who only use Daddy when they're in bed, no DDlg included, have a word kink, but i digress. 

 

Most of the time, you're not going to have a lot of success getting your partner into DDlg completely. Any sort of BDSM takes a ton of time, effort, and research. People do not realize how emotionally (and sometimes physically) dangerous it can be for somebody who is lacking knowledge in the lifestyle to be practicing it without any precautions. This is why I say research, tons of it, is always necessary. 

 

I would say I have a slight success in getting my partner into DDlg. My current Daddy and I met on Tinder, and even on Tinder I was pretty open about the sort of lifestyles I lived, and after talking to him for a little bit I explained further and he knew what I was talking about and had already been interested in, but never experienced it. With a few nudges here and there he has become the best Daddy he can be for me, and I would say it even came to him naturally. Whenever he is unsure of something, he asks questions, because he is interested in learning more. If you're trying to get your partner into DDlg the right way, they should be asking questions. If they're not, they're probably not too interested. 

 

As I said in the beginning though, you cannot make a Daddy. I do believe, like being a little, being a Daddy is a very unique and niche role that only a certain archetype of people can fit into. Sometimes the problem is merely age (although not all young Daddies are bad or unfit) and sometimes it is really what they are expecting to take away from the dynamic. Everyone has expectations and things they hope to achieve and get when entering a dynamic. If all they're hoping for is sexual gratification and not the absolute joy and bliss that comes from loving and protecting their little, they're probably not a good fit. 

[August25]

I personally don’t call my CG daddy but if I had to answer this. He kind of is. It wasn’t really hard to introduce him because I have ALWAYS been a brat/little without labeling it until recently. I kind of just showed him BinkiePrincess in YouTube, and his reply was ...yup.

 

I personally will also not wear diapers (for now lol)

 

It’s hard though because I already know he’s not the “best” caregiver but he’s learning. We had a “trial” period for a week to gauge his level of how this will work or if I have to find a separate CG (I know not many people would have two people in there lives but my alternate CG is actually my best friend-female).

 

I hope this makes sense LOL!!