Sad and lost little

[princessbrittykitty]

This is going to be long probably, sorry

My Daddy makes me so sad. I know he doesn't mean to but he does and it seems as though he does not care about it. A year or so ago I found out that he had cheated on me, mostly over text but a little bit irl too. This girl was also seeing Daddy's good friend who also lived with us at the time so she was constantly in our lives and it was very hard for me to deal with. I already disliked her as she was often rude and mean to me but I never knew why. After I found out she lived at ur house for a month which was very hard for me. I struggle with not feeling good enough most days and feeling like a second choice, a lot of the things that Daddy and this girl said about me to each other were pretty mean and I don't know how to deal with it. My biggest concern at the moment though is how often we are seeing this friend of Daddy's. every time I see him it hurts, I think of her and how I wasn't ever good enough and he has been at our house so often lately. I am sad and lost and I don't know what to do. He is at our house now and I hate it.

Sorry this is so jumbled and might not make a lot of sense, I am very out of sorts at the moment

[Guest DaddyCares1]

I really think you should reconsider this relationship. For one reason, cheating is not okay - however I realise some people forgive and give second chances. That should only be the case if someone is truly remorseful and wants to change. From the sounds of it, that hasn't happened. Even if he's not cheating on you, it seems like this other girl is a greater priority than you. Not to mention whatever he said about you. 

[princessbrittykitty]

He hasn't seen the other girl in over a year, just her boyfriend. It still hurts though. Daddy and his friend have known each other for over 10 years and he is reluctant to give up that friendship. He has seemed truely remorseful and says he is trying to change but I just don't see it. He broke my trust and still continues to do so even if only in tiny ways

[Tinka]

if it hurts talk about it with your partner (sorry i cant call him Daddy, this is not daddy material in my eyes.)

 

Every single thought and emotion, let it out. Say how betrayed you felt, how emotionally painful it was, say it all. 

 

You obviously have it inside you as an unfinished business, eating you alive. Why do that to your self?

 

Talk to him. A Daddy should never cheat. A partner should never cheat. Its not ok. 

And lets not try to be the modern idiots who say "oh its just messaging, unless it is sex then its not cheating".....

Cheating begins from the moment that someones` interest starts revealing towards someone else who is not his partner.

The rest little "loopholes" of the definition, are made for cheaters and for people who have cheating tendencies. 

[Guest Andyy95]

The important thing is that he lost your trust and once lost it'll never return. The seed of distrust has been placed in ur head and it'll only grow with time. U may say u trust him one day but deep down u'll always question him and it'll cause u endless stress and frustration. U'll never see him as a reliable daddy and will never feel trully safe with him. I know that it's hard to let go cause u do love him, but i am of the opinion that once the trust is lost the relationship is over. So my advice would be to break up with him now, rather than have it crumble appart by itself with time. 

[Sleepless]

In my opinion trust can be gained back in certain circumstances, with a lot of work and dedication. He's gone over more than one trust breaking line though. He cheated, he let this girl be unkind to you, and he even bad mouthed you with this girl in their private moments. The last one especially disgusts me, if he truly cared for you or had any respect for you at all he would not have done that. He may seem remorseful now, but I feel that anyone that can stoop as low as he did when he did what he did to you will never truly feel remorse and they will repeat their actions. This is all just my opinion, but I really think this man, no matter how much you love him, will hurt you again.

[Guest infinitecases]

If he was rude about you to another girl and also cheated on you, maybe you should think about leaving him? Surely a Daddy should be out to protect you, and if any girl makes you feel uncomfortable or is rude to you, then he should be the one to remove her from both of your lives, not to then cheat on you with her. Not seeing her for one year might be a good sign, however this could so easily happen again with another girl he meets, and when trust is broken to this extent, it's really hard to get back to where you were before this happened. 

[BunnyBear]

He's the one that broke the trust and respect in the relationship, he needs to actively earn that trust and respect back.

 

If you really feel like the relationship is worth salvaging, try looking into couples therapy to resolve your guys past. If you can't do that, maybe look into books on breakups/divorce and how to get through them together as a couple because I know that's helped me before.

 

Good luck!

[princessbrittykitty]

Thank you everyone for your advice. Especially you BunnyBear.

Leaving someone you love is hard, he has done a lot for me and helped me through the scariest most traumatic parts of my past. I deeply love him but I am having trouble letting go of this betrayal

[princessbrittykitty]

I feel as though it is also worth mentioning that he and this girl had an on and off thing for 3 or 4 years before I came along, I just didn't know about it

[Puppy]

This is going to be long probably, sorry

My Daddy makes me so sad. I know he doesn't mean to but he does and it seems as though he does not care about it. A year or so ago I found out that he had cheated on me, mostly over text but a little bit irl too. This girl was also seeing Daddy's good friend who also lived with us at the time so she was constantly in our lives and it was very hard for me to deal with. I already disliked her as she was often rude and mean to me but I never knew why. After I found out she lived at ur house for a month which was very hard for me. I struggle with not feeling good enough most days and feeling like a second choice, a lot of the things that Daddy and this girl said about me to each other were pretty mean and I don't know how to deal with it. My biggest concern at the moment though is how often we are seeing this friend of Daddy's. every time I see him it hurts, I think of her and how I wasn't ever good enough and he has been at our house so often lately. I am sad and lost and I don't know what to do. He is at our house now and I hate it.

Sorry this is so jumbled and might not make a lot of sense, I am very out of sorts at the moment

 

First off, as it was already stated, this man is no Daddy. He is not a protector, or guidance. He is a cheat, and somebody who does not deserve you. I know you are hurt, and I understand so deeply how you're feeling and it pains me that anybody would have to go through this. I've been here, in almost the exact same situation. What stuck out to me was you talking about how you feel like a second choice, and how they said mean things. You should never feel like a second choice in any sort of relationship. Whenever you get with someone, especially when you take on a little, you are giving a silent oath to always put them first. 

 

You are more than good enough. The most horrible thing about being cheated on is being left to feel like you could have done something better, or that you didn't do enough. And I promise you, no matter how hard you try, cheaters will still cheat. He is not worth your time, not one second of it, and neither is she. I am so sorry you've been pushed to feel so horrible about yourself, but believe me when I say things will get better. 

 

I would say maybe it would have been worth salvaging, but after reading that he said a bunch of mean things about you with her? That's horrible. That's not somebody you want to be with. In the end it's your choice, your life, and your relationship. But leaving my cheating "Daddy" was the best thing I could have ever done. 

 

Whatever path you take, I wish all the best to you. And please try not to beat yourself up, you are wonderful and completely worth it everything in the world!

[princessbrittykitty]

Thank you Puppy for your kind words

[Richie 79]

This guy has no respect for anyone he aint a daddy. Daddys are meant to love n protect their baby girls not cheat n disrespect them. I hate hearing these stories because i wld never do tht too my baby girl princess. Im single jst now but i hv never cheated in anyone i hv been with. Try talking to him but if he cheated its prob better to move on as if you forgive he will do it again. I say this because ive been cheated on in the past not by a baby girl jst someone i was with before i chose this life choice