Daddy not his self anymore

[Babydollsub35]

I'm so sad at night my Daddy just lost his mom .but he turned to drugs to help.he says he stop but the distance is still there.when we are together at night he can't Even keep his eyes open.plus he been mean calling me names I just want him to be safe I worry alot .so much I can't eat .its hurting me so bad.What should I do to ease the stress and pain in my heart?

[Puppy]

First off, if he's verbally abusing you leave. He's obviously not in a good position to be with you currently if he's going to be doing drugs and taking his anger out on you.

He needs professional help, and I advise you to recommend that to him. I understand you care about him, and it's a really bad situation to be in. I would say for you to talk to him and tell him from the bottom of your heart how you feel, but I don't know the extent of the verbal abuse and that's what scares me for you.

 

Drugs can completely change how a person acts and responds, including making them violent. You can worry about him as much as you want, but please worry about yourself as well.

 

He's hurting from the pain he's going through, and he needs help for it. He also probably needs to know that you want to be there for him but he cannot take it out on you.

[squishykitty]

hello sweetie, 

I know what you are suffering right now. My ex daddy/bf passed through the same situation he lost his mom and he started drug abusing, he also was violent with me in a physical and verbal way so I made the desicion to leave him behind as it was giving me emotional issues. What i can advise its to talk about it with him reccomend some therapy. You should let him know its making you feel bad this verbal abuse towards you and if you dont see a progress in a couple of weeks Im sorry but you need to leave. Its hard but he will have other support from friends maybe but dont selfharm yourself bc of others even if you love them so much. you are not getting that love in return. Believe me, I stayed more than necessary bc i loved him and now i have traumas and im insecure bc of the physical abuse and verbal. But avobe all remember if he is having that attitude with you it will cause you some psychological and emoctional issues after. take care of yourself. If you need support you can add me ad we can chat okay? :3

[Tinka]

Hello, i am sorry you feel this way. And i am sorry for your bf mother loss. 

 

Losing a mother is a terrible thing. You and i , will never know the pain until this tragic moment comes in our lives too. 

When someone important for us dies, his absence causes a pain to us, that is very hard to deal with. 

Suddenly nothing can help us see the light, the joy and the goodness in this world. 

Our soul hurts so much and we are unable to find something to calm the pain. We desperately try to survive in our heart/mind/soul to keep up with the days to move on, but we simply can`t. Some of us can`t. 

That`s where the drugs or alcohol come to play a part. 

Alcohols and drugs give you a momentarily peace of mind that you so much crave when you are in uncontrollable psychological/emotional pain.

They are a pause to your torturing, a breath to your suffocation.

Unfortunately, you have to always double the dose you took the previous time, so you can feel the same ...serenity. 

It`s obsessive and deadly. And a lot of lost poor souls got tricked and faded away in this cruel world from such substances.

 

I understand that this is something that you dont want in your life. I understand if you want to go away. 

I just wanna say a few things, think about them and at the end choose whatever you think its best. 

 

This person needs help. The mean name calling, the nasty behaviour is all because of the drugs. He is slowly sucked into this negative dark hopeless blob of a drug addict. Of course he will not sweet-talk to you. And not because he is a bad man. But because he is sick and needs help. 

 

So "HE NEEDS HELP" is the fact that we need to focus a bit here. 

 

This help can come in many forms, in talk, in support, in force etc. 

This help can come from you or from specialists. A combination of these two would be lovely, but to be honest with you the most useful help must come from him.

 

He is the one who must say "ok i stop". And this phrase to be honest its the most difficult thing for him to say now.

 

Can you stay and help him? Do you want to stay and help him? 

Can you leave the little space, woman up and sit down and have a talk with him? It would be very helpful.

 

Speak in a VERY calm way but let him understand that there is no time for talking. But for announcing and actions. 

I would say that it is a fact that he has an addiction and this needs to stop. (Make sure you make him see that you understand how painful it is , the thing that he is going through) .

That his mother would never want to see him this way, and that he needs to get up and go to a rehab. To make her proud.

 

If you can call a rehab or any organisation and ask them for further information or report him ,that would be lovely.

 

Be kind but firm, strong and supportive, take him to rehab. He is your partner and he needs you.

 

It will be hard, but you can save a life. 

I think this will be the best way to ... "ease the stress and pain in your heart". 

 

Best of luck, to anything you will decide.

[Guest SUeB]

Losing someone isn't an excuse to act like a moron. To be honest if it was me, that's exactly what i would tell him.

[Guest Stinkin'ol'Fred]

You've been chosen 2nd ma'am. Drugs were chosen first. There's no stopping that until he wants to stop. Until he chooses to put it down and listen to you that's when you become a priority again.

Quitting while he is ahead is not the same as quitting. What happens if he goes to jail? Will you be his support? There for him? And after he gets out? What if he turns back to drugs?

 

You are so much better than any name he can make his mouth to call you, never forget that. You don't have to be his sufferer. You don't have to hold on to hope and spend days or nights crying over the things he's doing to you. Don't be there for him whenever he calls because you need it, do it for you. Don't worry your mind, because you done your part for him. You have been there, you have worried. But why get so worked up over someone who obviously has no better self control? At least for things dealing with u.

Even when people come back to you apologizing for fucked up shit they said, still pay attention to what they said because at one time they felt it so much as to say it. I was in a relationship kinda like that, boy hadn't lost his mama tho. Just a rough upbringing. He used drugs, hurt me, apologized, done well for a while, and repeat. I stayed in his vicious cycle with him almost 3 years. He humiliated me purposely, hit me, destroyed my property, and I left him finally. Finally for my unborn sons well being and safety. It took defending my unborn child from his own father to shake me enough to never ever go back again.

I'm sorry to ramble, maybe My experiences have just left me cold hearted, I dunno. Just been there is all.

[DeepMango]

At the very least, you need a serious break and geographical distance. He has to choose to work on this himself. He cannot do what he needs to do with you around. I'm truly sorry.

[HampshireBloke]

As lots of people above have said, he needs help breaking the hold that the drugs have on him, but nothing will really change until he is ready to stop for himself.

What you do about your relationship at the moment depends on you and how much you think you can cope with whilst trying to help him. Everyone has a breaking point in a relationship and only you know when you are reaching that point. You may be able to stick around for longer to try and help him, you may decide that you need to leave now. Just make sure you make the decision based on your needs. DrugDaddy is a different person to your Daddy, you don't owe him anything and you don't need to feel any guilt about breaking away from him if you need to.