Should my Daddy treat me better?

[L i l P r i n c e s s]

Sorry I wasn't sure where to put this but I've been thinking recently and I'm not sure if my Daddy is a good Daddy. When he's being good he makes me happy and treats me special but a lot of times he stays busy with anything else. He'll ignore me for video games I don't mind too much but it's all the time, he won't let me talk to my friends he says he hates them and I shouldn't be around them but when he has friends over for several days I don't say anything even though he ignores me. He has a way of turning your words if I tell him I don't like how he can limit my life and he can do whatever he plays the victim card. He overreacts a lot too like when I'm napping (which I do a lot) if I don't tell him I'm going to sleep he will freak out calling and texting me. He gets very mad if I'm late texting back but if he's late I assume he's just busy. I don't want to be too clingy and I want him to be happy but I have needs too I'm extremely dependent on him as he helps me through a lot so I don't function well without him. I'm not sure what to do I can't talk to him about it or he'll get upset so I'm just looking for some advice please help. I love my Daddy but I don't know if I'm being treated fairly

[DreamingDesire]

You're asking us to judge a relationship based on one side, which is always going to be biased, but the situation you're painting doesn't sound like a great relationship of any kind.

 

This especially: "He has a way of turning your words if I tell him I don't like how he can limit my life and he can do whatever he plays the victim card." <- that's classic manipulation by using your love for him against you, and shouldn't happen in any kind of relationship.

 

The first step to any relationship is to have solid communication between both partners. If I have a problem with my little, she'll hear about it, and she makes damn sure I hear about it when she has a problem with me. If he can't take that sort of communication, this relationship really stumbles at the first hurdle. My advice would've been to talk to him, but when you can't do that.. what else is there?

 

Good luck, I hope you do find a way to talk to him, or at least get him to change in some other way. I understand he also helps you through things and this means a lot to you, but ideally you don't want to have this many fundamental downsides to a relationship.

[Guest JayRingo77]

I agree with Dreaming; this is one side of a two person perspective.  That said, it does not minimize or invalidate how you feel in your perspective of what is going on.  

 

On the surface this does not sound like a healthy relationship or proper conduct for a caregiver.  Particularly the manipulation Dreaming pointed out.  That's a serious warning sign that can undermine any relationship.  Using someone's concern for the health of the relationship and attempts to communicate as a means of 'playing the victim card' only perpetuates the maladaptive behavior he's displaying through avoidance, control, and irritation.

 

What does your Daddy do when you try to participate or take interest in his entertainment, such as the video games?  Are there activities you still enjoy together?

 

A good measure of whether you're becoming 'clingy' is if your needs, which are clearly not being met, interfere with his ability to work or other daily tasks that need to be accomplished.  Right now that doesn't sound like it's the case, more that your needs are interfering with his opinion of how much time he should have to himself versus with you.

 

How you approach talking to him isn't something I can address.  There isn't enough to go on to offer anything that I feel would be useful.  Certainly your opinion needs to be heard and if this Daddy can't meet your needs, I have to agree.  What makes him so unique that you can't replace him?  Does not having your needs met outweigh the discomfort of separating from him enough to tolerate remaining in this relationship?  These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself before you talk to him because it will set your expectations and goals of what you want from the conversation.

 

Best of luck.  Please keep us posted.

Edited November 12, 2017 by JayRingo77

[L i l P r i n c e s s]

He usually takes the lead in video games and Such Im not very good at them but I'll watch when I can and yeah I love anything I get to do with him any time spent with him no matter what we're doing is time well spent I think

[Guest JayRingo77]

He usually takes the lead in video games and Such Im not very good at them but I'll watch when I can and yeah I love anything I get to do with him any time spent with him no matter what we're doing is time well spent I think

That's good at least.  Maybe you can practice in your own time to get better so he enjoys playing with you and invites you to join in more often.  You can use those moments gaming to try and bridge the communication gap that seems to be growing between the two of you.  He may also appreciate and be more affectionate if he sees you trying to put individual effort into activities he enjoys and you're hoping to share.

[meows kohai]

Oh GOD. He sounds exactly like the boyfriend i had when I was 18 

I'd tell people the same things you're saying, they'd tell me I was being one-sided, and then they'd meet him. 

If I were you I'd dip asap, he should show you the same respect you show him.

Is he really young? He doesn't sound mature enough to be a Daddy/CG. 

 

 

Honestly, that behavior is even reminiscent of the pimp that messed with me when I was younger. So many red flags... Trying to isolate you from your friends, turning your words against you so it sounds like you're hurting him, constant need to know where you are at all times, freak outs if you don't text back soon enough... It sounds very abusive.

 

 

Buuuuuut that's just my opinion.

Edited November 13, 2017 by meows senpai

[Jotck8]

Like those before me have said, we are only seeing this from one side, but if this is how you describe it, it doesn't sound great. If you aren't happy, that isn't good and you should do something about it. Whether that means trying to work things out with him, or leaving him is really dependant on things I don't know. For example, have you tried talking about this stuff with him before? How does he feel about this relationship? How happy vs how unhappy does he make you? But I guess to answer your initial question, if you aren't happy than he should probably treat you better. It's just a matter of how to get there, and if it will be with the same daddy

[L i l P r i n c e s s]

Yeah I've tried talking to him about it but he gets upset. My anxiety is always through the roof so I talk to him about this any time I get the guts because I need reassurance a lot but he always gets upset and said things like he's a bad boyfriend. As far as how he feels about the relationship, I know I've made a big difference in his life and I honestly believe he loves me I just think that because of his abusive past he doesn't know how to show it and he worrys about not being good enough. So do i though heheh but he makes me happy all the time it's mainly my anxiety that makes me unhappy because I guess I overreact idk you guys say there are red flags so maybe I'm not overreacting but there was a thing earlier he told me I need to grow up I don't know how I should feel about that to be completely honest it scared me

[Guest DaddyCares1]

• Video games all the time are a sign you're not a priority
• Not letting you talk to your friends is abusive
• Wanting to know where you are is okay. However is it coming from place of concern for your well being, or because he wants to control where ever you go? From the point above I'd guess it's the latter. 

   

  He should treat you much better

   

[Mikaitaku]

from everything you have said, I think he is being abusive.  if you ever have to wonder if your daddy is a good daddy, he is not.

[Guest Elizabecksx]

I agree with Meow Senpai. He doesn’t sound mature enough to be a daddy. I’m guessing he’s about 18-20? The video games part was a give away.

 

I’ve had a couple young daddies before and I don’t really like it. I imagine them like a tiny child giving me commands. That’s why I prefer daddies who are 30-40.

 

What I can suggest is that you have a sit down with him, tell him that you’re feeling that way. If he realize things, then that’s good. But if your words can’t get through his thick skull, leave.

 

Good luck bbg <3

[Guest SUeB]

If i take it simply on what you have written, then there are signs of abusive behaviour. Ignoring you, cutting you off from your friends etc. But then you don't sound blameless. Your behaviour isn't sounding too good either. Not trying to insult anyone, i am going on written words and my instincts here. But it sounds like a pretty toxic "relationship ", if i could even use that word.

[L i l P r i n c e s s]

So i told him that he isn't doing the best job I found a little guide to how you should treat your little and I asked him to read it and it didn't go too well he got upset that I didn't think he was treating me well enough an de kept apologizing and saying that he's sorry he's so bad I feel bad maybe I shouldn't have said anything

[LittleGirlEmilia]

"Video games all the time are a sign you're not a priority"

 

Not true. It means he enjoys video games.

 

"Not letting you talk to your friends is abusive"

 

Needs more context. She could be in a wrong crowd. However, I've been in an extremely abusive situation where he wanted to alienate me. So it's a red flag.

 

 

Don't ever feel bad about opening up and telling someone how you feel. If you don't communicate how you feel, how will the other person know? Opening up a dialogue about it and sending guides is a good start.

[Guest SUeB]

So you want someone who abides by some random writing by someone who thinks all daddies and littles are (or should be) exactly the same. That's really not how any of this works. Can't say i blame him for being offended. If my partner gave me a list of things i should do to be better, I would be very upset and offended too. If he's so wrong for you, i think you already have your answer.

[L i l P r i n c e s s]

Oh no no no I don't want him in any way to just be some standard Daddy. I just wanted to give him ideas such as rules and such as he hasn't wanted to do that it wasn't me wanting some unrealistic relationship in any way

[L i l P r i n c e s s]

I have a feeling things may get better what you said made me realize that my intentions may have been taken the wrong way so I told him that I was sorry and explained it was just for ideas but that I want us to really nail what's gonna work best for us

[Guest SUeB]

You seem to be trying to fix the wrong things. No prtner should ignore, no partner should try pull you away from your friends, no partner should depend on the other to help them function, etc. Not trying to keep putting arguments your way, lol. Just trying to say that there seems way too many issues here.

[Guest CuddlyPenguin]

I saw this picture and it reminded me of your situation. Remember that actions always speak louder than words and no matter how much he says he cares he has to show it to even more so as your caregiver. Never sell yourself short you are worth so much and you shouldnt compromise your well being to stay with someone who doesnt see that just because it maybe harder to leave then to stay. I wish you the best and hope you are able to figure things out!

Message me if you need anything or just someone to talk to

[Guest Mister Grey]

"Video games all the time are a sign you're not a priority"

 

Not true. It means he enjoys video games.

 

"Not letting you talk to your friends is abusive"

 

Needs more context. She could be in a wrong crowd. However, I've been in an extremely abusive situation where he wanted to alienate me. So it's a red flag.

 

 

Don't ever feel bad about opening up and telling someone how you feel. If you don't communicate how you feel, how will the other person know? Opening up a dialogue about it and sending guides is a good start.

 

Perfect.  Just perfect.

 

Honestly, he just sounds immature to me like maybe he needs to do a little growing up too.  

 

 

And for the record, that statement has nothing to do with him playing video games.  Anyways, good luck.