A Little caught lying and almost cheating

[Guest Mister Grey]

I dont think you need anyone here to tell you what you already know but I admit, sometime I need to hear it in another voice so I can truly take it in.

 

You stated that you are not in an open relationship….well maybe you should be.  repairing what she has done won’t happen with a bandaid and if she had any notion to truly fix this as apposed to you giving her a pass, she would not even consider continuing with this trip.  Maybe an open relationship where she can see and consider what she has too loose may spark something in her to truly come to appreciate what she has in front of her.  You sound like a great guy.

 

She lives with you.  Maybe YOU are not completely ready to let her go, which is a separate thing.

 

Maybe she is simply not ready to truly be in a committed relationship and that is fine, if she was honest about it.  Like you, I believe honestly works for everything and more importantly, among wanting honesty from other, you need to be honest to yourself as well.

 

If she were honest in the beginning or even later on that she is not ready for a committed relationship and she would just tell you that, then its up to you to make a decision.  Maybe you end things or maybe you decide to stay, but at that point its on you, but she did not give you that opportunity.

 

Now, it sounds to me like your giving her a pass, she is there, apologizing and planning a trip still.  You may wish to rely on her word that she has spilt all the dirty laundry and just try and establish trust form this point.  ok fine.  Just remember that is YOUR decision now and if it goes south, you have to shoulder some of the responsibility  because really its FAAAAAR too soon to allow that trust right now.

 

 

I wish you the best of luck, its not easy whats happening to you right now and its a shame.  I see a bit more hurt coming your way, but I do feel that in the end, you will emerge from the other side stronger.

[DeepMango]

Many thanks everyone for all your feedback. It is definitely a hard track to tack but we are going to try. She knows she doesn't get anymore chances as far as lying and she seems committed to making changes. Again, a big mahalo from Hawaii to you all.