My little wants to be a DOM?

[LoveMyLittlePrincess]

So, one of the many reasons i fell in love with this girl was cause she was a little. i LOVED the idea of being a caregiver and having a little to take care of. now out of nowhere she is saying "i don't really feel little anymore" and she wants to be a full on dom and use me as a "slave". I told her i prefer being a dom and she just said "well im only happy being a dom now so if you keep trying to be a dom too this relationship won't work out" I don't know what to do, shes always saying im unmanly, and not a real man etc, cause im not the most muscular daddy around. she almost NEVER calls me daddy and thats pretty upsetting. She always used to talk about us going somewhere like build-a-bear together so she can build a bear and i was VERY excited to take her somewhere like that, and i got really happy thinking about it. the other day i brought it up and she said "thats more of a little thing" cause she only wants to be a dom now this made me really sad as its one of the things i was looking most forward to as a little date :/. this is really upsetting cause i feel lied to for the first months of our relationship when i REALLY fell for her. i had put so much research into being a daddy and logged everything she loves in little space and we had SO much convos about it and looked at so many outfits but now its all for nothing cause she says she doesn't wanna be a little anymore. i'm just really sad these days this was the only thing that made me happy and now i lost it. 

 

 

i feel the need to add that she says the reason for this is because she was never treated so well in a relationship before and was never given enough confidence in a relationship to feel good enough about herself and apparently, i gave that. so was i TOO nice? is that a thing? 

Edited November 4, 2017 by LoveMyLittlePrincess

[Wolfycheeks]

 

i feel the need to add that she says the reason for this is because she was never treated so well in a relationship before and was never given enough confidence in a relationship to feel good enough about herself and apparently, i gave that. so was i TOO nice? is that a thing?

I think so. Also i've personally known some Dominant/Masters who used to always begin as a submissive/slave. Maybe you gave her enough confidence to realize what she wanted, enough confidence to be dominant and sure of herself you know?

 

 

"well im only happy being a dom now so if you keep trying to be a dom too this relationship won't work out" I don't know what to do

 

You basically answered yourself there. She's only happy being a Dom.. unless you're willing to suddenly change for this girl, the relationship won't work out. I mean you could always just have a romantic relationship and let her see other people for her dominant needs, but as you said you loved her little side, and if she completely abandoned that, she's not who she used to be anymore I guess. And not what you were expecting either. I personally think it's best to find a new relationship, if this really isn't going to work. I'd say communicate first, but she seems to be very clear about what she wants.. It's up to you though. Good luck with this!

[Untwisted]

People evolve, she wasn't necessarily lying to you, just that what she was into then, she isn't into any more.  You supported her and helped her to grow in confidence and now she's reached a point where she doesn't feel that she needs that support any more.  She's ready for something else and wants to change the dynamic of your relationship to something new that you don't want. 

 

I think you have to decide whether or not you can adapt or compromise in some way or whether you're still compatible as a couple.

I girl I used to know used to tell me I was too nice.  If someone thinks you're too nice for them, then it is a thing for them, it doesn't mean you're not the right amount of nice for someone else.

[PastelPaciPrincess]

Well, 1. If she's insulting you and saying you're unmanly, she's not a good person, nor would she be a good dom. 
2. She's giving you ultimatums, which is never okay. 
3. Doms are not abusive or violent. They are not meant to call people names, and they should NOT try to force.
4. I believe you can find someone else that won't be like her. I don't think's a good dom, and certainly not a good little.

I believe she is being manipulative. Saying it's YOU'RE fault, not hers. I don't think she was lying about being a little, but I think she's being terrible. If you're uncomfortable being submissive, and she's saying that you both can't be dom, leave her. She is NOT the one for you.

Edited November 4, 2017 by PreciousLittleCinnamonBun

[Littlest_Bee]

I think it's fine that she wants to be a dom and you should be proud that you gave her the confidence to realise she has that desire.

 

Something that absolutely is *not* okay is the way she is now demeaning you and trying to make you be her slave just because that's something that would be comfortable for her. It's obviously not what *you* want or who *you* are. The least you can expect is her being respectful to you.

 

In general if she wants to be a good dom she should learn to respect the submissive. Someone submitting is a sign of trust. It's a privilege that's earned and cannot ever be forced.

[Guest DaddyCares1]

Threatening to end the relationship if she doesn't get what she wants is immature. It's fine to voice your needs, but that isn't how two people who love one another communicate. I don't believe she's heard of the word compromise at all. 

Disrespecting you as a daddy due to appearance? If that's true, move on. Your littles knows nothing about this lifestyle and you could do far better. 
 

If she wants to be a dom now, and her preferences have changed that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. It is just unfortunate for you. 

[binky-bun]

I mean, people change, she might not have discovered this side of herself until after you two got together.

 

That being said, you're under no obligation to enter a dynamic you're not comfortable with. It sounds to me like you're just not compatible any longer, especially if there isn't some kind of middle ground you two can reach.

[meows kohai]

Well, 1. If she's insulting you and saying you're unmanly, she's not a good person, nor would she be a good dom. 

2. She's giving you ultimatums, which is never okay. 

3. Doms are not abusive or violent. They are not meant to call people names, and they should NOT try to force.

4. I believe you can find someone else that won't be like her. I don't think's a good dom, and certainly not a good little.

 

I believe she is being manipulative. Saying it's YOU'RE fault, not hers. I don't think she was lying about being a little, but I think she's being terrible. If you're uncomfortable being submissive, and she's saying that you both can't be dom, leave her. She is NOT the one for you.

 

GOD THIS 100%

[LightSwitch]

So you wrote earlier that shes never had a good relationship before, and as someone who did this to my husband, i think shes pushing you away. Likely to get you to leave her. Shes probably terrified it wont last and wants to just get it over with. When i first got together with my husband i didnt know how to love myself or let myself be loved. I tried everything for a month or two to get him to leave me. Because i felt i was bad for him and he was too good for me. We worked it out and and have been together for several years now. Maybe try exploring this as a possibility? I wish you lots of luck in figuring this out or finding a way to safely and healthily move on.