Helping Your Little Deal with the Grief of Losing a Loved One

[Guest Sirchristo1]

So this morning my Princess lost her favorite Uncle and it has been devastating to her. We are in a semi LDR so all I can offer is my ear and lots of support and love. It's difficult hearing her torn between big girl her who says her uncle is no longer in pain, no longer suffering and in a better place ; and little girl her who cry's that she wants her Uncle back. His passing has also brought back very strong memories of her Dad who passed before her Uncle, not that those memories were gone but now wanting her Dad and Uncle, and missing them both, is just overwhelming to her. Of course as her Daddy I want to make it better and I can't, I can just be there for her. She is writing her feelings in her journal and I am listening with all my heart.

 

Any ideas on how to help a Little with the grieving process? My heart is breaking seeing her heart break.

Edited November 2, 2017 by Sirchristo1

[Panda God]

I can't speak from experience, since I'm a little that has never lost a close family member, but what I can tell you is that everyone handles grief differently. Some people retreat inward, and some people reach out to others. Regardless, the best advice that I can give you is to keep doing what you're doing. Listen to her when she talks about how she's feeling. Also, just keep letting her know that you're there for her, and that you won't judge her for her way of handling the situation, whatever that may be. Remind her that it's okay to be sad, and that it's okay to cry. She might feel like she is being weak/ over dramatic/ annoying when she talks about it with you.. Assure her that those thoughts aren't true. 

 

Another thing is to remember that she might want some alone time. Sometimes that can be very healthy, as it gives the person some time to reflect, but be careful. Watch out for signs of depression, like her never wanting to talk about how she's feeling, or just generally acting like a recluse. 

[Guest littleloveslars]

I lost my sister in February. The only thing that helped was time. I only recently fully came to terms with it, and it was only after a long "conversation" i had with her where I aired my feelings out loud and gave voice to all my fears and feelings. Nothing my Daddy did helped. He listened, held me, spoiled me. But my heart wasn't ready until it was ready. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

[Guest SUeB]

You let her vent, cry, sulk, go quiet, moan.....whatever she needs to do. You can do literally nothing else. When my mum died, i would talk to my friend on the phone, and she didn't know what to say so listened mostly in silence. Years later she told me how awful she felt that she didn't help. i told her she did exactly what i needed her to do. She simply let me get it off my chest without trying to make me feel better with generic sympathy. No words in the world will do anything.

[Guest Sirchristo1]

Thank you. She’s taking this very hard. I’m not sure I’m helping or handling things very well. It hurts to see someone you love so much, hurting like this. I feel a bit helpless and just hope I’m doing the right thing and not making it worse.

[Guest SUeB]

You are helpless. That's the point. Just ride the storm and make it clear you are there for her without suffocating her. Trying too hard will make it worse. She needs to deal with this her own way.

[DreamingDesire]

You are helpless. That's the point. Just ride the storm and make it clear you are there for her without suffocating her. Trying too hard will make it worse. She needs to deal with this her own way.

 

Exactly, I really want to echo this. I've lost many family members myself, and always felt like just working it out in my own time. There's no uniformly correct way to handle someone in grief. The only thing you can do is be available when your little reaches out to you. You're one of the most important people in her life I assume, so she'll naturally gravitate to you when she needs to talk things over with someone, or wants to move on. Good luck to both of you.

[Guest CaptainAmerica97]

I can relate some. But all there is time and to let her cry it out.