LDR resources

[Guest littleloveslars]

Hello!

 

I have been meaning to write this for some time, and am just now getting to it.

 

With all of the posts about long distance relationships, including ghosting, safety, communication, rules, romance, and more, I wanted to create a post that forum users could reference to help with some of those things. Feel free to add things that work for you in the comments!

 

I met my Daddy, Lars, online years ago. This was before we even knew what DDlg was! We lived 14 hours away from each other, and had to get pretty creative in getting to know each other. We ended up doing a lot of reading together. My list is primarily going to be book related. We shared an Amazon Kindle account for these books because it saved our spot, and we could read together, plus it allows for highlighting and bookmarking.

 

Intellectual Foreplay- by Eve & Steve Hogan

 

This book was by far my favorite of all the ones we read together. It is a book that can be used not only in romantic relationships, but when getting to know a possible roommate, business partner, or even friend. I have even used it to get to know my family and friends better. It helps you learn how to use open ended questions to make informed decisions about any kind of relationship. The book is designed in sections, and I highly recommend following the book in order. There is a sexuality section, but the book is designed to build intimacy outside of sex before breaching that subject. It is literally a book of questions. I suggest when working on this book recording your answers in a notebook, and dating the responses. It makes it easier to go back after a few months or years to review how you've changed or stayed the same. Lars and I ended up buying a paper copy of this book after we moved in together because we loved it so much. Even after 5 years together, we still go back through the book and old answers together. Its a lot of fun, and really eye opening!

 

Purchasing on Amazon:

 

Kindle price: $10.30 USD

Paperback price: $10.84 USD

 

 

The Five Love Languages- by Gary Chapman

 

This book was so useful! The book goes through all of the different love languages that individuals have, and gives practical applications to help you understand yourself and your partner better. There are tons of online quizzes you can take that are based on this book, but ultimately I believe this book is needed to fully understand the results. This book will help you figure out how to fill your partners emotional tank, while also teaching your partner how to fill yours. Lars and I read this book during our long distance relationship, and revisited it during pre- marital counseling. It has been a wonderful tool for the both of us, because when we review it often, helps us remember how important filling those tanks are.

 

Purchasing on Amazon:

 

Kindle price: $6.67 USD

Paperback price: $9.59 USD

 

 

201 Great Discussion Questions for Couples in Long Distance Relationships- by Lisa McKay and Michael Wolfe

 

This book was similar to Intellectual Foreplay in that it is a book of questions. It too has defined sections that cover different topics. We preferred Intellectual Foreplay over this book, possibly because we ran into quite a few repeat questions, but everyone has their preferences! Again, this is one of those books that helps you get to know your partner or potential partner, but it also forces you to take a good look at yourself. These lists of questions create an environment for honesty, even if you keep your answers to yourself.

 

Purchasing on Amazon:

 

Kindle price: $3.99 USD

 

 

The Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide: Secrets and Strategies from Successful Couples Who Have Gone the Distance- by Chris Bell & Kate Brauer-Bell

 

This book is a practical guide to trust and honesty, intimacy, and boundaries. It gives insight on starting a LDR all the way to deciding when to meet, and merge lives. I really like this book because it helps showcase what a healthy long distance relationship should look like. Its really easy to get sucked into the romance and butterflies, and this book is a nice reality check.

 

Purchasing on Amazon:

 

Kindle price: $10.99 USD

Paperback price: $12.17 USD

 

 

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs- by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

 

This book takes a biblical approach to marriage, but you'd be amazed at how it can apply to a D/s relationship. I highly reccomend this book for any couples in serious relationships, LDR or not.

 

 

Purchasing on Amazon:

 

Kindle price: $9.99 USD

Hardcover price: $13.89 USD

 

 

You'll notice that all of these books focus on mainstream relationships. Lars and I didn't read these books to develop a kink relationship. We read them with the intention of having a healthy, lasting relationship. It's really important for littles to remember that while giving up control and responsibility feels really good, giving up those things to the wrong person before getting to really know them is a recipe for disaster, disappointment and heartache. DDlg aside, we are all adults. We all have real lives and responsibilities, and it is my opinion that if you don't face those things first, you won't successfully integrate an alternative dynamic to your relationship. I suggest browsing the other posts on the forum about red flags, self care, etc. if you decide to pursue a long distance relationship.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Feel free to post any questions or suggestions for LDR here.

 

This post contains opinions written by me and does not reflect the advice or opinions of forum staff.

Edited October 31, 2017 by littleloveslars

[Guest Ignea]

I think its a nice short review on the list of books expained, helpfull written aswell. and ofcourse its aplicable on any relationship no matter what kind.

reading a book together how you guys did sounds like a realy interesting way, and one to remember.

Thank you