Am I wrong?

[Cr33pyHollow]

So I'm still in school, and I have math even though I'm absolutely awful at it. Math tests always give me the worst anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness because I don't do that great on them. I have been known to cry in public, even though I do it discreetly, so no one else sees. I let my Daddy know when I feel like this, and I just.. I don't think I've ever gotten any comfort. If i tell him i'm crying, and he doesn't think I have a good enough reason, he gets mad at me. Which in turn just makes things worse. He's even gone as far as to message me saying it's "embarrassing and pathetic." 

 

 

Am I in the wrong here? Is he right? I try to control my tears, but when something hurts it hurts. I turn to him to give me comfort and he just gets mad at me and believes i don't have a good enough reason to need it, which causes the tears. I just.. Is he right?

[Nymph]

Some guys are just REALLY bad with tears and their response can go from anywhere from freezing, to crying with you without actually helping lol.

 

I am sorry to say your guy might have a bit of that, but mostly he sounds abusive. You need to be careful and pay very close attention if his first reaction to everything that caught him off guard or makes him feel out of control is to attack you. That means soon enough you will be walking on eggshells for everything including stuff that have nothing to do with you (bad weather? you f*ng jinx!! kinda attitude).

 

Some guys get frustrated and angry at the situation, that is just who they are and you need to respect that. Daddy is like that but I can always tell he is not angry at me, he is not mean to me or makes me feel worse. He just wishes he could do something to make it better or be here when it happens and he is not around. Know the difference honey.

 

I think even if he wasn't abusive, he has a very short fuse and should not be dating someone with anxiety issues. It's a bad combo, you should look for someone more patient or tolerant at least.

[shadowrider]

 First let me say I am sorry you are going through this and your support system isn't helping as they should. You are not wrong. In my opinion the reason you are upset is irrelevant, you should be able to count on your partner for support. They do not need to understand or feel emotions the way you do but they do need to offer you support and comfort no matter the situation. I think you need to have a big to big talk with your partner and discuss the lack of support and care they are showing you. For a partner to dismiss your feelings is totally unacceptable and anger is never the correct approach to someone hurting.

I wish you the best and hope discussing this with them brings you a speedy resolution.

Just my 2 cents take it as you will.

[meows kohai]

Yo what the hell???

If my Daddy did that I'd knock him the fuck out. 

That's really messed up, especially coming from someone that is supposed to be caring for you. 

[Guest BeMyKryptonite]

Thoughts are free and feelings are flawless. You are never wrong when you feel something and you should be able to find comfort in people nearest to you.

 

Your daddy might not understand your tears or your reason to cry, but he must accept that it's how you feel and do his best to support you instead of putting you down or making you feel wrong about your feeling and yourself.

 

I agree with little bimbo that it sound a little bit abusive. You can not change others. Only pay attention to what you want to be a part of.

 

Best wishes.

[Littlest_Bee]

That sounds horrible. *hug*

I think he's in the wrong for treating you like that.

He's supposed to be a caregiver which means giving you a safe environment to talk about your fears and help you deal with them better - not put you down for them. Nobody is perfect but if it's a recurring problem it should get through that this is a big deal for *you*.

 

 

Is there anything that could help you with your problems? Do you have access to tutoring? If you prepare well, maybe that helps with bringing down the anxiety. I know anxiety isn't always rational but taking rational steps can still help in dealing with it.

Good luck.

[Cr33pyHollow]

Thank you so much for your guys’ support and advice, it means so much to me. I guess I’ll have to come to terms with the fact that this is how he reacts to things like this. We’ve been together for almost two years, and I’d never want to leave him. I love he loves me, and I believe his anger is failed attempts to try to get me to “toughen up.” I will continue to talk to him as an adult and try to get him to understand that his support is the most important thing for me. 

[Guest NyxCa]

So I'm still in school, and I have math even though I'm absolutely awful at it. Math tests always give me the worst anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness because I don't do that great on them. I have been known to cry in public, even though I do it discreetly, so no one else sees. I let my Daddy know when I feel like this, and I just.. I don't think I've ever gotten any comfort. If i tell him i'm crying, and he doesn't think I have a good enough reason, he gets mad at me. Which in turn just makes things worse. He's even gone as far as to message me saying it's "embarrassing and pathetic." 

 

 

Am I in the wrong here? Is he right? I try to control my tears, but when something hurts it hurts. I turn to him to give me comfort and he just gets mad at me and believes i don't have a good enough reason to need it, which causes the tears. I just.. Is he righ

Hi, my dear. Look... Sometimes we just need someone who tells us "Everything gonna be ok, baby." You feel bad because you don´t like Maths and there's no problem, your anxiety makes you feel like that because you feel that you are not enough, but you know you can. Your Daddy isn't right and he is doing a very bad job. He is supposed to take care of you and it is his duty maaking you feel comfortable, ok? Does he have his rules and punishments? He must know that he has duties with you. Don´t worry about it, ok?

[Persephone_Persephone]

Can I be brutally honest...I wouldn't stand for this. To know someone is upset and anxious and call them 'embarrassing and pathetic' is down right disrespectful and unhelpful.

How would he feel if it was the other way around.

I think you are right talk big to big and let him know point blank that name calling is not a solution it is adding to the anxiety.

Can he help with homework, additional learning or some basic comfort? If not id be kicking him to the kerb regardless of how long id been with him.

Edited November 1, 2017 by Poppins

[THE BATMAN]

I believe a daddy should always offer support and comfort. Telling you it’s embarassing and pathetic is not helpful and just makes it a bigger issue for you. You shouldn’t be treated that way even if he doesn’t like it he should respect you enough to offer some form of help.

[Guest Ignea]

Im am baffled reading this ..

 

 

My first reaction is, hop on my lap,  let the tears flow.. breathe and then ask whats going on, have a hot coco or such and see how to fix things of in a best way possible.

Calling someone "embarrassing and pathetic." is just disrespectfull degenerating and not supportive at all. As said in earlier reactions,   go for a big talk and ask what his problem is coz in my book your "problem" is tiny compared to his.

 

With that one txt he destroys all you ever want and need from him..

 

I honestly hope you can sort it out, or him.

[Guest Sirchristo1]

I'm sorry, there is no excuse for a "daddy" to say things like that... No excuse.

[osito]

A caregiver(or any partner or friend, really) should be supportive and uplifting. Not someone that's going to tear you down when you need to be built up. He should be ashamed of himself. No, he isn't right! He seems to be pretty pathetic to me.

*hugs*

[Wolfycheeks]

That's really abusive tbh. Making you feel worthless and guilty for crying. I'd dump his ass right now before shit gets worse. You deserve a boyfriend/Daddy who is there for you and comforts you.

[Guest ShyDaddyDom]

I'm sorry for my 2 cents but that gives me big alarm bells. Your partner through things is meant to support, care and understand. It honestly worries me that someone would judge anothers reason to cry, then furthermore become angry if they don't see it fit.

 

That to me sounds toxic and I just pray that you will be careful.