angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 (edited) Edited October 31, 2017 by angxlkittxn 1
LittleGirlEmilia Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 Hmmm.... Speak to him big to big, tell him that you appreciate how much he's put into being a daddy for you, but tell him you feel like he should be taking the rules more seriously, as you need that certain structure in your life. Have you two sat down and looked through the forums together and discussed things in the lifestyle that suits you both? It may help him making his own account and socialising with other DD's/Caregivers. Tell him what you want out of the rules. Do you want rewards? Punishments? How do you want the rules to be enforced? Why don't you two get an app that both of you can use to keep track of your rules/chores that have been set in place? There is OurHome, which is really good! Daddy uses mothrship and I use choremonster! Mothrship is the parent app that keeps track of Choremonster, but we also use OurHome, since we live together ^^ I hope I helped, kind of? ^^' 3
Princess-P Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 Sounds to me like he's a great Daddy and your having a tantrum over rules. Guess what? Its not all about you. And it doesn't sound like your being a very nice or grateful little. Have you considered rules are something he's just not into? That he loves nurturing you but has no desire to control or punish you? Being a Daddy means a lot of different things, as does being a little. Rules are not mandatory. Its been 8 months. I say give him credit, he's doing an amazing job. Your 19 years old, I'm gonna say that you have a lot of learning to do yourself. Saying he's not a Daddy because you dont have rules is just selfish. You need to do some search yourself and learn not everyone is a tumblr cookie cutter. There's no harm in expressing what you want to him but don't expect him to go along with everything you want. Its called compromise. 1
Cr33pyHollow Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 DDlg means different things to different people. He doesn't sound interested in controlling you, and that is 100% okay. He sounds like he's doing an amazing job for someone who's only been in the lifestyle for 8 months. Give him a little credit. just because you have different views on certain parts of your dynamic, doesn't mean he isn't a Daddy. If it really bothers you that much, you need to speak to him adult to adult and vocalize how you feel. If he just isnt into it, he isn't and there's really nothing you can do about it at that point. Don't stress over what you don't have, cherish what you do. If you continue to stress, it's just going to strain your relationship.
binky-bun Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 @Princess-P brings up some good points. Not everyone is into the same things, not all littles have rules set by their caregivers. Personally I've tried to get my daddy to enforce rules on me, but it's not really his style so I haven't pressed the issue too much. Your daddy sounds like he's really making an effort to be nurturing towards you. You might have to step up and fill in that gap yourself. Try making your own list of rules. Your own goals, what you think you should be doing. Put them somewhere you'll be reminded of. Present it to him in a different way, say: "Hey, these are some things I'm going to try to work at getting better at (brushing teeth, making the bed, not swearing, stuff like that). If you see me slacking, would you just give me a gentle reminder?" If you make it seem more like something YOU'RE doing for yourself, he might not feel as awkward or resistant to the idea. It also takes a lot of responsibility off of him. Having a caregiver is nice and it's great when they can help guide you, but remember first and foremost: You are an adult, and you are capable of taking care of yourself! You are in a relationship, so you both must meet the needs of each other and respect the boundaries and limits of each other. Good luck!
Panda God Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 Sounds to me like he's a great Daddy and your having a tantrum over rules. Guess what? Its not all about you. And it doesn't sound like your being a very nice or grateful little. Have you considered rules are something he's just not into? That he loves nurturing you but has no desire to control or punish you? Being a Daddy means a lot of different things, as does being a little. Rules are not mandatory. Its been 8 months. I say give him credit, he's doing an amazing job. Your 19 years old, I'm gonna say that you have a lot of learning to do yourself. Saying he's not a Daddy because you dont have rules is just selfish. You need to do some search yourself and learn not everyone is a tumblr cookie cutter. There's no harm in expressing what you want to him but don't expect him to go along with everything you want. Its called compromise. You have a point, but that's kind of a mean way of saying it. I don't think she deserves that harsh criticism. In other words, I don't think you should call people names just because you think they're wrong. 1
angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Author Report Posted October 31, 2017 Sounds to me like he's a great Daddy and your having a tantrum over rules. Guess what? Its not all about you. And it doesn't sound like your being a very nice or grateful little. Have you considered rules are something he's just not into? That he loves nurturing you but has no desire to control or punish you? Being a Daddy means a lot of different things, as does being a little. Rules are not mandatory. Its been 8 months. I say give him credit, he's doing an amazing job. Your 19 years old, I'm gonna say that you have a lot of learning to do yourself. Saying he's not a Daddy because you dont have rules is just selfish. You need to do some search yourself and learn not everyone is a tumblr cookie cutter. There's no harm in expressing what you want to him but don't expect him to go along with everything you want. Its called compromise.
angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Author Report Posted October 31, 2017 Well no I’m not having a tantrum over rules, I was just asking for some help in trying to explain to him what rules are and that I’d like some. I said in my post that he’s done so well learning about the ddlg lifestyle and that he’s done so great loving me and being a great daddy... so I’m not too sure why you’re targeting me and being so rude. Throughout us engaging in ddlg these past months I’ve told him that we’ll only do what’s comfortable with him and that I love him heaps and would never want to push something on him that he doesn’t like. I’d appreciate it if you kept things positive and not be so rude, I understand we’re all adults here but most of us have other issues which is why we use this as an escape. My anxiety doesn’t really appreciate nasty comments so I hope you’re not doing this to other Little’s as well
angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Author Report Posted October 31, 2017 @Princess-P brings up some good points. Not everyone is into the same things, not all littles have rules set by their caregivers. Personally I've tried to get my daddy to enforce rules on me, but it's not really his style so I haven't pressed the issue too much. Your daddy sounds like he's really making an effort to be nurturing towards you. You might have to step up and fill in that gap yourself. Try making your own list of rules. Your own goals, what you think you should be doing. Put them somewhere you'll be reminded of. Present it to him in a different way, say: "Hey, these are some things I'm going to try to work at getting better at (brushing teeth, making the bed, not swearing, stuff like that). If you see me slacking, would you just give me a gentle reminder?" If you make it seem more like something YOU'RE doing for yourself, he might not feel as awkward or resistant to the idea. It also takes a lot of responsibility off of him. Having a caregiver is nice and it's great when they can help guide you, but remember first and foremost: You are an adult, and you are capable of taking care of yourself! You are in a relationship, so you both must meet the needs of each other and respect the boundaries and limits of each other. Good luck!
angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Author Report Posted October 31, 2017 Thank you so much! That’s a great idea and I never thought about it that way. I think he would like that idea too. I told him last night that I should write some out and he said that’s a good idea and he will too to check over them when he can to see if I’m up to no good or doing good. 1
Cr33pyHollow Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 Honestly, you might have shed yourself with bad lighting when you used phrases like "what a daddy really is," and "he’s just not really a daddy," which is sort of unfair to say if he is trying. Hopefully things work out for you both though~:3
angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Author Report Posted October 31, 2017 Thank you heaps! We had another talk last night and it went well
Guest daddy_B1ue Posted October 31, 2017 Report Posted October 31, 2017 I don't think there really is any rules or definition of what a daddy is or is supposed to do but it's great that you're being clear about your expectations!
angxlkittxn Posted October 31, 2017 Author Report Posted October 31, 2017 Honestly, you might have shed yourself with bad lighting when you used phrases like "what a daddy really is," and "he’s just not really a daddy," which is sort of unfair to say if he is trying. Hopefully things work out for you both though~ :3 Yeah I think I did, which isn’t what I meant at all. I didn’t intend to discredit him or make him seem like a bad daddy at all which is what I think a lot of people want to make of my post.
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