my daddy has another girlfriend...

[appleblueberry]

I found out today that my Daddy (who's also my boyfriend, and this is ldr) has another long distance girlfriend. He's my first Daddy, and I don't know how to handle this. He doesn't know I know anything yet, but I've been talking to the other girl a lot. All I want to do is just be with him for comfort but he's not really my Daddy anymore after this, is he?    I don't know what to tell him or how to handle this, because I just want to be in little space. ;-;

[Guest DaddyCares1]

I'm assuming you entered into what you thought was a monogamous relationship? If so, probably best to move on. You can't really trust him

[BadAssGirlie]

Tell him upfront and be honest, it is safe to cut the bullshit. or play a game....ask him questions like do you love me , and the big one ...what would you do if i got another boyfriend or cheated on you? Then break it to him like the badass bitch you are!!

[Untwisted]

Whether or not you feel he can be your daddy now is up to you.  It isn't necessarily wrong to have a relationship with more than one person, but everyone involved needs to know and be happy about it.  How does the other girl feel about it?

You need to make up your own mind about what's acceptable to you, and most importantly you need to be able to trust him.  If it's not what you want, you don't have to put up with it.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I'm sorry this happened to you :[ I'm assuming it isn't a poly relationship? Did the other girl know about you? 

 

You just need to tell him straight up that you know about her, if he makes up any excuse, don't listen. If he lead you to believe it was a monogamous relationship, then there is no excuse for this :[

 

I hope you heal quickly 

[Guest McLeodLot65]

I agree with Untwisted - it's about the trust, not the specific relationship. It'd be the same issue as if he'd lied about his age (or, to be more precise, allowed you to draw a false conclusion about his age and never corrected you).

[Guest littlelisafrank]

I know you don't know what to say, but you need to discuss this with him, and I'd go for video chat if that's possible. That way you can see his reaction to what you have to say and the questions you have to ask. Get his side of things, and then go from there. That's my suggestion.

 

You could prepare some questions, write them down, and then just use that as a guideline for your conversation if you're nervous about it.

[Wolfycheeks]

Oh man I imagine that really hurt, i'm so sorry :/ Honestly, I would break up with him, he should've told you, I wouldn't trust him anymore after this. Whether you give him a second chance or not is your decision, but you might and most likely will end up hurting again. In my opinion if he did this behind your back, you being there wasn't enough, and honestly he might just do the same to this new girl in the future if this is how he handles things. Again i'm sorry, that's horrible :c Try talking to him about it over voice/webcam, see where things go. Keep us updated?

[Guest Urthurs]

Ouch sorry to hear that. This sounds familiar though. A rather crule, but not uncommon LDR "trap". Some guys like to have "backups". He will sweet talk and have multible "girlfriends" until he finds someone closer, or if one leaves him he will just go for the other one.
It's very selfish, obviously... you are dealing with real people even though it's online. But some people just don't care I guess.

[Guest SUeB]

Well if he is seeing her behind your back, which it seems very clear that he is, you are best advised to tell him goodbye. That's most certainly what i would do. This is a situation where you have to act as the grown up, not as the lg. What is her opinion on all of this? Is she just letting him get away with it? What is the context of your conversations with her? Are you complaining about his treatment of both of you but doing nothing about it, or are you having a bit of a bitch fight "he's mine....no he's mine" (lets be painfully honest here - he is neither of yours.)

This seems extremely unlikely to be a poly situation, with your post, so yep, he's cheating on you. Are you happy staying with a liar and a cheat? If that were me, i would have dumped him the second i found out. But this is you, not me.

What do you think you should do about it? Do you not believe you deserve better?

[appleblueberry]

What happened yesterday: she broke up with him. We're really good friends, and it wasn't much of a competition. She had suspicion about him hiding something from her. They started dating a few months after we did... which, I'm really ashamed of, but I'll own up to it: I cheated on him, and he forgave me. But he found her because he was lonely and says he hates being alone and we both made him happy. This was odd because he's been cheated on a lot and his past would have influenced him to be really good.

The thing is, I understand where he is coming from because I have also cheated. And an overly open mind. I'm going to give this another shot, carefully, because I feel it inside that we can work through this. He's open up about it and that's a good sign, and I can see how sincere he is when he's upset and apologetic. Of course, if he does it again I'll leave. But this is the first time I've been cheated on seriously, and I don't know how to cope. I've started feeling really sick and I want to cry all the time. I feel I'm relapsing back into depression and anxiety. I'm really shaky now and I keep re-thinking about things people have said to me.. I used to be a little naive, but I might have trust issues now.

[Guest pacibrat]

Okay, so you also cheated on him but are playing the victim because he then turned around and cheated on you and you've "never been cheated on before"???  Hurts, doesn't it?  It sounds like neither of you are quite ready for a relationship.  

[Guest Thelittlebear]

What?! Im sorry, but you both cheated on each other . You dont really get to feel bad that he did it to you. You did it first. How do you think he feels? You both have your own issues to work . If I was in this situation, I would leave because there are going to be too many issues of not trusting each other.

[DreamingDesire]

Maybe you could try an open relationship, especially with that open mind? There's nothing wrong with any act in particular, as long as both sides fully consent and agree to it.

 

Most importantly, though, it sounds like you need some time to think and figure out what you want yourself. It's a little scary to look within, but the path to happiness is a lot clearer when you're actively looking there, as well as letting the people who are important to you know that you are looking. Good luck.