long distance dd / lg questions

[sundaisy96]

Hi, I'm pretty new to Dd/lg , only in the last 9 months. I never heard of it at all before to be honest. My situation seems very different, and I'm concerned about some things. First of all, I'm online a lot either gaming or on social media which is where I've met some of my best friends. My Daddy and I met online. We've done phone calls on Skype. I'm 21 and he's 40. (my first worry was the age difference). I've never been in any kind of relationship before and have a lot of trust issues and fears. I deal with emotional issues and multiple health issues too. We've never met in person, we live in two different countries. We've not done video chat either, and I've never seen him. He's seen a profile picture of me from social media. Once he asked for a photo and it was wearing something sexy. Sometimes he uses video to show me where he lives, etc. We started talking originally as friends because he was helping me with some emotional issues, and the advice he's given me the past few months has been amazing and has helped a lot in my life. He gives me tasks to write a diary entry every day to see how I'm thinking and feeling and working through my problems, and a sheet to write down what I eat and when I sleep , since I had a really unhealthy routine. We have playtime too, over the phone still, and he's taught me how...since I never did anything like that alone or with someone before.

Lately he asks to see me on video, or send more photos, he even asked for my phone number or address. I didn't know if he was joking. I told him I'm uncomfortable sending a number or address, or even going on video, mainly because he hasn't shown me anything of himself yet. To me I feel it isn't fair. He gets upset, never does anything mean or hurtful, but says I need to trust him with everything or dd/lg won't work anymore. I understand that, but if I'm not comfortable, it isn't his job to force me into it,...is it? Is it fair for me to give him everything and show him everything, when he won't do that back? It would be different if we were together in person, or had at least met. There are certain things I'm not comfortable with until one day when we can meet. I don't want to make him angry, but I need him to understand that and not push me.

 

Is a long distance dd / lg relationship like ours normal? Having never met? Being only online? The dynamics and requests he's making? Is it dangerous? How do I explain respectfully to him what makes me uncomfortable or uneasy?

Need some advice please. I don't want to.give too much to someone I never met, if I have to drop the relationship it scares me to think he would have so much of me.

Edited October 20, 2017 by sundaisy96

[Rebel]

Now as everyone here will say and knows, everyone is different. What works for some doesn't work for others. The one thing that is repeated is talk to each other. A LDR seems pretty normal with this type of relationship (from what I have seen), because everyone hides that side of themselves from the world, and only really open up online, unless they know someone else in person that has that same "mindset". 

 

One thing you might be able to do, is that if he knows you have trust issues, say it flat out. You can tell him you don't trust him / feel uncomfortable and before you give something away revealing like that, even if it is a photo of yourself, ask him to send you one first. For me personally (cause I have trust issues as well), if he couldn't do that, then I would drop him like dead weight. Now I wouldn't give out your address until long after y'all meet (if you do) because that can get dangerous, but if you start feeling comfortable with him, then you can give out your phone number. 

 

But with this dynamic, it is about compromise as well as trust. He should not force you into something, but rather work with you to either understand why you aren't comfortable with whatever or if even the slightest bit of you is open to whatever it is, to slowly ease you into it. If it is force, its just a Dom/Sub relationship, but if its a true CG/L relationship, then they will work with you. 

 

The last thing I will say is that a LDR only survives if you two meet (eventually, do not just jump into it), and grow plans to be with each other in person one day. It does not survive if you just twirl your thumbs and wait for things to happen (not saying you do, just general info).

[Leo_Ascendent]

If it makes you uncomfortable, as I would be, and he refuses to accept that or even show you a picture of himself, I would take the safe route and drop all contact with this person. I've seen too many episodes of "Catfish" for my own liking, but these are all tell tale signs of something being up. You're 21, you're young, and you will meet someone, don't settle for a mysterious stranger who uses words to woo you, and then says things when you don't obey (you aren't his, you are your own).

 

As a Sub, YOU have the final say, ALWAYS. He has shown he is not really looking out for you by asking and demanding things.

 

This is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.

Edited October 20, 2017 by Leo_Ascendent

[sundaisy96]

. Edited October 20, 2017 by sundaisy96

[jay4cha]

Good morning , here's my take on this one, you should always trust your gut on this type of situation, if there's something that you felt wrong about the request of someone to you then you should stop it and don't proceed. Never force yourself in doing something uncomfortable to you because it can only result a negative impact, try to talk to him first and make sure what is the reason behind his requests.

 

Do discuss the boundaries between you two if it's an LDR setup and given the fact that you've never seen him then you should always be cautious about the things that your doing for him, I know that you are looking for someone to look after you, to take care of you but if this someone is not trustful then I think it's time to think twice and carry on. 

 

My suggestion is for you to build trust and relationship first with this man that you've met online and know more about him because it's not a good thing if he's able to see you and him hiding in the dark like that (no offense) it only shows that he's not willing to even let you see him or know what he looks like, about that address and phone number I highly recommend not to provide it for your own protection.

 

Hope this help. Cheers!

[minahbird]

Mommy and I are long-distance, and haven't met yet (it's a pretty new relationship), so a lot of the dynamic is familiar to me. We play video games, watch shows and movies, send pictures, share our daily life events with each other, things like that. She's never given me tasks like your Daddy gives you, though I sometimes wish she did, but I know that if she did, it would be up to me to agree to them, if I wanted to.

 

I have to admit that I don't feel that it's all that healthy for him to be guilting you the way he is. Yes, we have to trust our daddies and mommies, but not with absolutely everything, and not if we don't feel right doing so. If he wants you to trust him, he needs to give you a reason, I think. If he won't trust you enough to even show you his face, it's not right of him to ask for sexy pictures or those really personal things like phone number and address. Something about it seems really off to me, but that could be because I'm a very suspicious person.

[Guest Prat]

Try this, maybe it helps.

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12632-cgl-over-distance/?p=68819%27%5DCgl

[Guest infinitecases]

Whilst a ddlg relationship that either starts is or is purely online is perfectly normal, giving out your address to someone, taking pictures etc is a two way street. If he decides he can't disclose information about himself, why does that then make you obliged to do it? Tell him directly there are things you won't do until you meet, and if he still gets upset and sulky then ask why he's asking for information that he, himself is too afraid to give you! Trust is earned - he can't expect you to trust someone who hasn't you a given to trust them. 

[DaddySweetDaddy]

I didn't read everyone else's responses fully, but in short:

 

1) Yes, trust your inner most feelings and senses. If you are uncomfortable do not give him any more personal info or pics or anything more really.

 

2) There is no way at all its is cool for him so ask for these things and more from you and not show you himself yet. Very uncool.  

 

3) No, it is never ever anyone's job, and ddlg is no exception, to force anyone into doing anything - EVER.  He's bad news, I'm sorry, but its just not okay. 

 

4) It really is sad and angering to hear of these so called daddies who are nice in the beginning, then become unreasonable, then forceful. And there are many stories of vulnerable girls/littles who go for it anyway with personal details or visiting in person and getting really hurt. 

Edited October 22, 2017 by DaddySweetDaddy

[Peachyheather]

I am a submissive that found my dom 4 years ago online. We speak constantly. He calls me everyday and are always in contact. The past 1.5 years we have discovered together that I am a little. I am 41 and he is 46. I am in Canada and he is in the uk. Never met personally but he is coming over in May for a month before making his transition to moving here. I was scared at first as well to give personal stuff out but you will get used to it after a while. Giving those personal information bits out to a stranger that you are with lol is a hard one when we have trust issues. Number is easier at first because if he turns out not good you can always change it. Start off small to test the waters and your comfort level. Any daddy should know he has to be careful and take care of your personal feelings over his wants first. Edited December 3, 2017 by Peachyheather