I Need Help With A (DDlg) Bestii Breakup

[Kitten_16]

Hey guys! I haven't used my account in a while so hopefully the rules and everything are still the same. Alright, I had a breakup Friday (the 13^th). Yes, Friday the 13^th. It was a best friend breakup, they surprisingly hurt 100 times more than boyfriend breakups. This breakup happened between myself and my 'best friend' (let's call him Froopa), he's a Daddy. Recently Froopa got a new girlfriend (I named her Clamantha), she is little. With that being said, let's back up a week, recently my high school friend Alex started hanging out with this girl Abby, that I don't care for; and that put me in an awkward position. Long story short, Alex barely talks to me anymore and when he invites me to do things it's always with Abby! I told Froopa about this because I was very upset and he promised that he would never do that. He texted me “You're my best friend and I don't see that changing. I would never be mean to you.” Total BS! Because I know now that he lied!

        When he didn't text me back for a few hours I sent him a text and he said he was very busy talking to Clamantha the clammy noodle head! I felt a little hurt at first, but shrugged it off until the next day when he texted me. During this conversation I politely said that I don't want to talk about Clammy.. Why? Well, the only way I could think to describe it is if your ex has a new partner YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT NEW PARTNER! IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE! He got mad and gave me this stupid ultimatum saying that “You don't want to talk about my life or the things happening in it.” Blah blah blah! Which isn't true! I like talking about things he likes, but some things I don't like to talk about.. There are things I like to talk about and he doesn't so I just don't bring them up! He pretty much said I either talk about Clamantha or we don't talk at all! This hurt me more than words could ever describe. So, that's that.

         Before you suggest jealousy, I'm not jealous of Clammy, I only like Froopa as a friend! Nothing more! Yes, saying he means a lot to me doesn't do it justice. He means a lot to me in different ways, but romantically has never been one of them. I guess what i'm trying to figure out (to give myself closure) is how he could choose someone he has known all of 2 weeks over someone he has known for over 2 years? We talked everyday! He threw me away like nothing. Which must mean I never meant anything to him. We were never best friends... Or even friends at all. It's too late to ask if i'm exaggerating, so i'll save that one.   My questions are.. How do I get over it? How do I just let it go? After all, it was his choice not mine! How do I make myself forget the last 2 years? How do I make myself forget him and everything about him?

 

I keep telling myself that he obviously doesn't care; so why should I? That doesn't help. My stuffie Garth doesn't even help and he usually makes EVERYTHING better... You name it, he fixes it! All the popsicles and Oreos in the world doesn't help. So please don't suggest anything like those.

 

P.S.

I'm not sure if texted is a word.. But it felt right! Also, I'm sorry if it is a little sappy, but I am pretty upset about this. Please no negative comments or anything mean. I greatly appreciate all the feedback and thank you for the much needed advice!

[cuppycakes]

         if your ex has a new partner YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT NEW PARTNER! IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE!

 

     How do I get over it? How do I just let it go? After all, it was his choice not mine! How do I make myself forget the last 2 years? How do I make myself forget him and everything about him?

 

First of all, I'll preface this by saying that I don't think what Alex did was rude. I think it's just a normal thing that happens. If you really have a huge problem with it, maybe you should sit him down (or Froopa) and talk about it for real. Explain your feelings. Communicate with each other. (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

 

I guess I'm sort of confused about something. ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ) You said that Froopa got a new girlfriend, and you didn't want him to talk about her in front of you, but why? (Have you two dated before? I couldn't see anything where you said you did.) Froopa is probably excited about a new relationship and wants to share his feelings with his friend! And if you're not interested in him romantically, then why don't you want him to talk about her? If you got a new significant other wouldn't you want to tell Froopa about them?

 

I don't think he was choosing Clamantha over you, I just think he was hurt that his friend didn't want to hear about his life (from his point of view). When someone gets into a new relationship, that's pretty much all they ever talk about. I know when I first started dating my daddy, I wouldn't shut up about him. That's just what people do, you shouldn't take it as a personal attack on yourself. (*´･n･)

 

You should talk to Froopa again, and maybe apologize to him. He should apologize to you, too, but I think you guys maybe just need to "kiss and make up". I don't think your friendship has to end over something this small. Especially if he's as close of a friend as you say he is!

[Guest infinitecases]

Personally, if a friend got a partner, I would let them be and let them spend their time with their partners. Obviously, it would be sad to spend less time with them but you can't expect them to give you 100% attention at that point. If it's the opposite sex, it's even more appropriate to give them more space surely. If I knew my friend just got a girlfriend, it wouldn't then be appropriate to assume that messaging him all day everyday is going to be sensible - his girlfriend won't like that and from then on, there are boundaries you need to put in place with how you act and react to him. If you want your relationship to be exactly the same as it was before, it won't be. His feelings for his girlfriend are different to his feelings for you. If you used to spend a lot of time alone together, that's not going to happen as much anymore especially if it's a planned outing rather than having it happen out of the blue because of school or whatever. 

[boomslang]

I don't understand why he couldn't talk to you about her if you're supposedly so close as friends?  Why can't you discuss it with him?  Even if you don't personally care for her, it's not your place to say who he can and can't date and dictate what he's "allowed" to chat about, someone who it supposed to be a close friend.  I'd be *incredibly* hurt if a friend of mine totally dismissed a new love interest and told me to bannish them from all conversation.  I imagine he feels the same.  You say he threw you away and that you feel like you don't mean anything to him...  Have you considered how HE is feeling??  A person he thought was his friend decided to end the friendship rather than talk about his new girlfriend.  The choice was as much yours as his :/

 

I'm gonna be totally honest and say that you seem to be a little overbearing and possessive as a friend.  It doesn't matter if you like their new partners.  You don't have to date them.  You can still be a good friend though.

[Guest Ginger]

So, the way I see it, "Froopa" did nothing wrong. It honestly sounds a bit selfish to expect him to not talk about all aspects of his life when it sounds like you can talk about yours. A true friend wouldn't put limitations like that on others. It wasn't to say that you needed to love "Clamantha" the same as Froopa, but at least letting him talk and unload would have been nice. It wasn't as though he set up a group chat with all three of you and gave you an ultimatum that it was that way or the highway. Maybe to just simply be able to talk about her to you would have been enough. This all sounds like jealousy. I know you said you don't like him in that way but building a friendship of 2 years, you do grow to love people in a certain manner. He didn't throw you away like you were nothing. He gave you a choice and you opted to dissolve the friendship yourself. So this was not his fault. This was your choice.

 

Now, to answer the question:

How do you get over it? Move on. Block him and find new hobbies, new things to do and new people to talk with. 

[Guest ~Luna Rawrs~]

I kinda know how you feel, but his relationship with Clammy is new. He is very excited about his new relationship. Even if you two are ex partner, you should see this as a sign that Froopa is happy. He found someone he likes and wants to show it off.

 

And he only said he is talking to clammy, do you think you may have over reacted a little bit? I know it is hard to see your ex talking about is partner, trust me I know, but you do value your relationship with Froopa right? Then just endure it...no matter how much you dislike talking about Clammy.

 

Now with the Alex and Abby thing...I guess he just wants you to like her and get to know her so the both of you can hang out with him. He either is thinking of dating her or is already dating her secretly or something like that...

[Kitten_16]

We had a 4 hour long conversation about everything.. And everything is going fine! I appreciate the replies and the advice! Thanks so much guys!!