Curious...with a lot of questions

[OklahomaBaby97]

Not even sure how to start this out. I'm a 20 yr old female who is interested in this lifestyle.

 

I have experience in dom/sub relationships, no experience as a little only as a submissive.

 

I've been curious lately and did some research. It seems that daddy/little relationships are more genuine and loving than dom/sub. It is very rare to find a dom who shows much affection or is willing to open up emotionally. I'm missing this in my relationships. That is why I'm here. However, I have a lot of questions. Maybe you can help.

 

1. Do I have to act like a child? Things such as playing with toys, wearing a diaper, talk in a baby voice.

 

2. I have tattoos and my tongue is pierced. Is that going to be an issue?

 

3. Are there dating websites for daddies and little?

 

4. What are some red flags to look for when searching for a daddy?

 

5. Most important rule for littles to follow.

 

A little about me:

I'm from a small town. On the outside I appear very independent. I live alone and completely support myself financially. Emotionally and mentally I'm somewhat of a wreck. To put it simply, I have daddy issues. Typical abusive father, absent druggie mother. Looking to replace the punishments my father gave me in a healthy, pleasurable way.

[Guest chilldude]

1. No, not all littles regress. You don't have to do anything. Middles tend to act like a teen, which could be more fitting for you

2. Being little has nothing to do with physical appearance, so no

3. Yes. Here and Fetlife. Other people have luck on Tinder or Tumblr

4. Find someone that respects your limits. Essentially they listen to you, and don't push you to do things they want. Only once there is trust will he have expectations of you

5. Well I'm a daddy and it's hard to pick a rule, but I'd say honest communication is vital. Not a rule maybe but it is fundamentally important

[Guest Prat]

1. No you don't. If you identify as a little then you can behave however you want to and be little, you just need to find someone compatible to your behaviour.

 

2. Being little isn't age or body type related, you just need to find someone compatible to your physical appearance.

I personally like both but someone else probably doesn't, for example.

 

3. This technically isn't a dating website and neither is Fetlife. It's a social network where people often end up in a relationship. I don't think there is a dedicated website for dating. Also be weary of Fetlife, it's not very female friendly from what I've heard.

 

4. https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/25526-red-flags-for-pushy-doms/?hl=flag

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16410-red-flags-for-dominants/?hl=flag&do=findComment&comment=126274

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23648-punishing-the-use-of-safe-words/?hl=flag&do=findComment&comment=125732

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6648-what-you-dont-do-when-looking-for-a-little/

 

Try these.

 

5. If you're talking about rules then it's specific to each little. If you're talking general rule to follow I would say - Safety first.

 

Welcome btw.

[diabh]

As with anything that implies feelings and sexuality: there are no rules. You should do exactly as you feel and you should find someone that makes you feel good while doing it. That's basically the whole thing.
DDLG relationships can be very similar to BDSM relationships, but usually also involve mutual feelings and not just sex, or even the other way around (which doesn't mean that bdsm relationship cannot involve feelings, but i think you get what i'm saying).

 

Edited October 16, 2017 by diabh

[GothicDaddy]

1. Do I have to act like a child? Things such as playing with toys, wearing a diaper, talk in a baby voice.

 

2. I have tattoos and my tongue is pierced. Is that going to be an issue?

 

3. Are there dating websites for daddies and little?

 

4. What are some red flags to look for when searching for a daddy?

 

5. Most important rule for littles to follow.

 

Hi there and welcome to the community :3

 

1. Nope you don't have to act like a child at all, whatever works for you is perfectly fine. My little is a middle so no sippys, diapers ect. for our dynamic, instead we watch a lot of anime and horror movies, go on adventures to new places, shopping and other things you would do as a bratty teen.

 

2. Tattoos and piercings, my little has them and I love them so again whatever works for you and your potential Daddy.

 

3. Not too sure about dating sites for ddlg

 

4. Same red flags you would have looking for a dom, or any partner for that matter. Do they respect your needs, desires, and limits? Do they keep open lines of communication? Do they make you feel safe and secure? Don't forget one persons red flag could be the next persons yessssss please.

 

5. Daddy's rules of course   But really listen to your gut, if it does not feel right, don't do it. Be open, honest and safe.

[Guest Arc]

The only rule is... there are no rules. It's literally what you want and what you make of it. 

 

As someone who comes in as a submissive as well, I totally understand the feeling of "do I actually fit in here?!?!" And I totally understand the appeal of these types of relationships being more loving and nurturing. That's why I came here too  

 

1 - you have to act like you. That's it. You can have a mix of playing with toys and wearing diapers or using a paci or none of the above. I would suggest that you look into what a "middle" is. That's what I identify as. It's kind of more in the age range of a young teenager. I like being playful and fun and bratty, and I like having someone there to care and nurture me but not smother me and baby me because I have this problem where too much care makes me feel like my partner thinks I'm incompetent >< Anyway if you're not interested in the more traditionally childish side of things maybe you'd feel comfortable identifying as a middle

 

2 - those are so not going to be an issue. I have four tattoos, and pierced navel, nipples, clit, and tongue. Anyone you are with should love you regardless of what you have on your body. I found a partner who absolutely loves my piercings and tattoos, and we're actually looking into him choosing a piercing for me so I always have something of him on me.  

 

3- I dont think there are any of those, specifically. Try looking at local events and munches. Who knows what you'll find.

 

4 - the same red flags as any other relationship. If they disrespect you, push you into things you don't want, if they want to take things faster than you, if they hide things or aren't open to answering your questions/concerns, etc. 

 

5 - there are absolutely no rules in this. It's literally what you make of it. It's whatever works for you and your partner. 

 

It's very normal to look for a father figure when you lacked a good one. I hope you find someone who meets your needs  

[meows kohai]

1. Do I have to act like a child? Things such as playing with toys, wearing a diaper, talk in a baby voice.

 

Nahhh. I don't talk like a baby or wear diapers. I don't even have a sippy or paci atm. Just be yourself. Sometimes it does take a little while to ease yourself into the comfort of little space. When I'm being stubborn, I noticed my voice gets really pouty and maybe a little babyish, but well within the realm of my normal voice. And remember, being a little doesn't mean you have to act like a child--you get to haha! 

2. I have tattoos and my tongue is pierced. Is that going to be an issue?

 

Nope! I have 13 piercings and 6 tattoos. Some daddies even prefer alternative littles.

3. Are there dating websites for daddies and little?

 

I don't of any, but if you're also looking for a sugar daddy maybe on a seeking arrangement/dating profile you could specify that you're looking for that?

4. What are some red flags to look for when searching for a daddy?

 

That's tough because people are interested in different things. I like the caregiver type of daddy and I'm a huge brat so a daddy with too strict of rules doesn't work for me--way too hard headed. 

Universal red flags are things like your daddy doesn't listen to you when you express your needs, declares total dictatorship over you and your body (unless you're happy with that, but i had a daddy who decided i wasn't allowed to say no if he wanted to have sex), ignores things like safe words, daddys who will take away items that are detrimental to your stability, lacks communication and understanding, etc. Mainly think about what you want out of the relationship and if your daddy isn't even attempting to give you what you need in return, look elsewhere. If you look through the caregiver forum and look through punishment threads, a lot of the more experienced users give out advice on what is and isn't an acceptable to handle your little. 
 

5. Most important rule for littles to follow.

 

Stay cute （○゜ε＾○）

 

And if you need a buddy, I'm looking for more little friends!!

Edited October 21, 2017 by meows senpai

[Leo_Ascendent]

Also be weary of Fetlife, it's not very female friendly from what I've heard.

 

Have you actually been? Word of mouth is a cancerous thing. I'm on there, and have not seen an influx of excessive female belittling. A lot of females there have a lot of power, men are easy, they follow, the few that lash out against females there are quickly outed and put in their place (or removed). Admins have no sympathy for that type of behaviour.

 

OP. tattoos and piercings don't matter, my Little has a dozen of each, and it is a very special feeling for me to know that I can make my Little go from a badass rebel, anarchist, "no f---s given" type to a little mushy girl.

Edited October 21, 2017 by Leo_Ascendent