Little space? What about Dom space?

[MommyMori]

Greetings!

 

Just recently joined this forum as I have found it fairly helpful while I explore being a Mommy to my little boy. It's also difficult to find areas where caregivers are active and sharing there experiences (fetlife has been a real hit and miss with this). But anyways... on to my question for all the Caregivers out there:

 

We all know about little space, but as a caregiver do you ever feel like you enter a sort of "dominant space" (whether that be a mommy space, daddy space, etc.)?

 

What are some things that help get you into that "dominant space"? (please keep it SFW! This is not a discussion about sexual topics)

 

If you switch with your partner, do you ever find it difficult to move back and forth between the spaces? Is there anything that helps the transition between head spaces?

[Guest McLeodLot65]

Interesting question. I've been aware for a long time that I have a sort of "ramping up" process, where I start with being a bit dominant, then escalate from there as I start getting feedback from whoever I'm with. The key thing is the feedback - make a minor demand or do a minor thing, then my partner reciprocates by obeying (or being bratty lol) and I find myself becoming more demanding and/or physical. This continues until I "reach altitude" and am fully On, then it just keeps going at that level.

[Raerwyn Vanya]

Sometimes I'm like McLeodLot where its a gradual process, and sometimes it just happens. Usually its instantaneous if someone I trust gets emotional. For example, I was in littlespace when a friend messaged me in a panic. She has a fear of bridges and was in the car going over a long bridge. I snapped from littlespace to being...big minded? Daddy Minded? Instantly. I coached her through my "meadow" trick, and got her to relax.

The person im interacting with can easily sway what my mindset is like.Though I have noticed that I'm sitting on Little about 70% of the time now.

[Guest dadBADDY]

For me it is sometimes dependent on my partner, reading their non verbal cues to bring it out in me. And other times I just feel it.. there have been times when the day has just gotten the best of me and I need a release and the Dom in me comes out to just control my space until I feel like im back on top. So i guess it depends.. but keeping this as sfw as possible, bedroom play almost always brings it out.. I will say though that ive experienced failure, and it had everything to do with the energy me and my partner had between each other.. if i'm not feeling it, then my true Dom isn't available. So i make sure that whomever i'm with we have really good energy together.

[Guest Prat]

I can enter a Dom space. It's like something in my head clicks and I get a green light. I can also enter Daddy mode too and that's usually around littles and misc.

[Leo_Ascendent]

I've always been in a "Dom Space", I have kids, so I am just always prepared for something to happen or what have you. Although I do get more aggressive (in a good way) during sexy times lol

[CuddleMonster89]

Yeah if my little or really anyone I know and care about gets upset or sad or angry I respond first by offering emotional support and expressing empathy or sympathy, which I guess could be considered a sort of daddyspace. If/when it seems appropriate, I'll draw on advice I've learn from parenting books and books on emotions in order to help comfort my little and teach her how to understand and regulate her emotional world and express how she's feeling in a healthy constructive way. After my little has calmed down, if my little wants my help or advice on a problem I'll do what I can to help solve their problem and take care of them. If/when my little wants to learn something, and its something I can help with, teaching or explaining things to her can also put me into a sort of daddy space. And if my little is being obedient, and like doing what I ask without much question or hesitation, it can put me into a Dom space which is a lot of fun.

 

Besides being in a sort of daddyspace in particular moments like that, when I'm in a relationship I feel like I'm in a constant daddy/dom/caregiver space of sorts since I prefer to be the sole or primary breadwinner, strive to continually learn about and understand my little better, and be the one making the decisions while taking my little's preferences and feedback into account.

Edited October 21, 2017 by CuddleMonster89

[DadaLlama]

I definitely go into a Daddy-Space with my little girl. I'm more in control, hyper focused on how she is responding, and, well, more dominate.  It's more of an intensity type of thing.  I also have gone through dom-drop before.  Sometimes the day after a really intense session with my little, it's like I'm emotionally exhausted.  It's hard to be in Daddy-Space when I'm feeling like this, because it's really easy for me to get overwhelmed.  This is when I normally call a moratorium on any playtime until we are both in a safe and healthy mindset again.  And lots of chocolate is normally involved for both of us.  

[Daddy4Princess]

Any time my little is acting....well, little around me, its easy to be in a Daddy-space.  I've also experienced dom-drop after particularly intense experiences, and....wow is it an amazing feeling.  I had to struggle to catch my breath, and we both cuddled each other, bringing each other back from our respective drops together.  It really was touching and romantic in a way.

[John_Titor]

Most definitely. One of my coworkers used to put me in daddy space a lot. Just random little things. One example, we work in a call centre, we usually sit side by side, and we talk in between calls. She was asking me about my Fitbit, and when I was explaining all the features, she said heart monitors don't work on her. So I handed her the watch to try it. A call came in right then, so I answered, introduced myself, then while the customer was explaining their issue, I muted myself and turned back to Chloe, and she was pouting because she needed help putting on the watch. It was adorable and it made me feel like a daddy. A couple months of her regularly doing this made me ask, and it turns out she is a little.