Question for Daddy's

[wanttobebabygirl]

Question for Daddies. Why do some Daddies in LDR think that it is ok to ignore and hurt their littles feeling to the point they are crying themselves to sleep and Daddy then wakes up the next day and pretend like nothing every happened? Do they not read the message we left? Do they think the problem disappeared cause they ignored it? Please any insight will help me. I want to understand how Daddy's work before i try again.This has happened to me in the past. As littles we just need to be communicated too us. IF you can't talk for a while that is fine...leave me a nice text or message to say so...then I don't get scared or worried...JUST FOR THE RECORD. I am not an talking about he didn't text me for an hour...I have big girl job and responsibilities so I can always be on phone either...

 

Baby Girl I have a very busy day at work today and can't talk till later. Remember Daddy loves his sweet baby girl and i will talk to you as soon as i can. Kisses.

 

Sees...its not hards...then as a little i can reads that all day and feel safe in Daddy's love and that he wills be back. OR if a little leaves a message she is scared and cry cause of something you said...cries herself to sleep waking up the next day and expecting all to be fine is just crazy. Do Daddy's understand how exhausting it is to cry till you are asleep. Very very very and you wake up the next day not really rested and still hurt. 

 

AGAIN in LDR communication is key. I can go a whole weekend without talking to who ever is my Daddy if I know what the bad word is going on....

[Guest McLeodLot65]

First, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you.

 

Second, I used to think that unless I could give my little 100% of my attention, then I shouldn't talk to her until I had the time that we needed...but my little at the time set me straight on *that* idea! Like you, she explained that it was a hundred times better to get a "I can't talk right now, but I miss you and am thinking about you, and we'll talk on Monday", then to get nothing at all like you did. She was so right, but I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to figure that out, because I can be clueless sometimes. Hopefully some cg's will read this thread and get a clue?

[wanttobebabygirl]

First, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you.

 

Second, I used to think that unless I could give my little 100% of my attention, then I shouldn't talk to her until I had the time that we needed...but my little at the time set me straight on *that* idea! Like you, she explained that it was a hundred times better to get a "I can't talk right now, but I miss you and am thinking about you, and we'll talk on Monday", then to get nothing at all like you did. She was so right, but I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to figure that out, because I can be clueless sometimes. Hopefully some cg's will read this thread and get a clue?

Yes that is exactly what I am looking for...just as Daddy's need to understand their littles we littles need to understand our Daddy's...I am so glad that communication like that help you and that little.

[Guest chilldude]

I think those daddies misunderstand how sensitive littles can be. I don't mean to imply that littles are oversensitive either. However good communication is essential, especially in a LDR and when you put those two things together, it can be a recipe for disaster - as you have experienced

[Guest Sirchristo1]

I'm a Daddy that is probably guilty of over communicating as I love to talk and text with my little. Communication is key for caregivers and littles and I really see no excuses for extended periods of no contact from a daddy without some sort of explanation or notice to the little to help them prepare. I would feel horrible if I left my Princess hanging for long periods, worried and scared. Edited October 13, 2017 by Sirchristo1

[GothicDaddy]

I'm a Daddy that is probably guilty of over communicating as I love to talk and text with my little. Communication is key for caregivers and littles and I really see no excuses for extended periods of no contact from a daddy without some sort of explanation or notice to the little to help them prepare. I would feel hotible if I left my Princess hanging for long periods, worried and scared.

This... all of this... I could never leave my little wondering why I went silent, in fact even outside the dynamic communication is everything in any relationship.

[Mr. Danes]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is LDR?

 

My only question is, did you explain how you felt when you spoke the following day and he went on as if othing?

[wanttobebabygirl]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is LDR?

 

My only question is, did you explain how you felt when you spoke the following day and he went on as if othing?

 

LDR equals Long Distance Relationship

 

Yes i did he got mad and told me he was tired of this...so i walked away. I will be amazing little to someone who wants to invest in me. I am learning I don't have to put up with that kind of treatment no or ever.

[Guest SUeB]

LDR - Long distance relationship.

 

This has nothing to do with daddies. Nothing whatsoever. Please don't taint every Daddy with your bad experience of one or two people. People......not daddies.

Also, i am sorry to say that your insecurities are nobody's fault. If you're being ignored or treated badly, get out of that situation. If you put up with it again and again, you are basically telling that person that they can treat you as badly as they like.

[Guest SUeB]

LDR equals Long Distance Relationship

 

Yes i did he got mad and told me he was tired of this...so i walked away. I will be amazing little to someone who wants to invest in me. I am learning I don't have to put up with that kind of treatment no or ever.

We must have been typing at the same time. Good to see you learned that lesson.

[Guest Alainnb]

Mr. Danes ( I'm sorry, I don't know how to quote on the phone), LDR is the short form for " Long Distance Relationship"

 

Also, it can be really scary to ask such a question then, when you already have been hurt and ignored because you just think that you "don't want to annoy daddy even more" ^-^

[wanttobebabygirl]

Mr. Danes ( I'm sorry, I don't know how to quote on the phone), LDR is the short form for " Long Distance Relationship"

 

Also, it can be really scary to ask such a question then, when you already have been hurt and ignored because you just think that you "don't want to annoy daddy even more" ^-^

 

Yes see that is how I felt...

[DollDirector]

It's not always the case but this kind of behavior is often associated with not mastering his own life. He may be angry at himself and not owning up to something; In such circumstances he can't behave and it's not necessarily a bad thing if you leave and let him sort this out.

[Hot loving dom]

Any person that ignores someone should not call themselves a cater. End of

[wanttobebabygirl]

It's not always the case but this kind of behavior is often associated with not mastering his own life. He may be angry at himself and not owning up to something; In such circumstances he can't behave and it's not necessarily a bad thing if you leave and let him sort this out.

 

Yes one of the things I am learning in my journy in this new lifestyle is if I am the stronger and more secure one in the dd/lg then i am not really the little...it may be wrong but i feel like i should not be spending a whole day reassuring Daddy that he is enough...shouldn't he come into KNOWING he is enough or am I not wrong??

[Guest dadBADDY]

I've never been in a LDR from the start (although I was in a relationship where my s/o moved far away). I'm learning so much reading about littles and their needs here. Makes me a little nervous, wanting to be the best dd i can be and knowing that the responsibility is so big. But I want that responsibility so bad! Thanks op for sharing your story. Sorry you had to go through that.. I sure wish you all the best

[wanttobebabygirl]

I've never been in a LDR from the start (although I was in a relationship where my s/o moved far away). I'm learning so much reading about littles and their needs here. Makes me a little nervous, wanting to be the best dd i can be and knowing that the responsibility is so big. But I want that responsibility so bad! Thanks op for sharing your story. Sorry you had to go through that.. I sure wish you all the best

 

While it hurt and is sad to think about I am not sorry it happened...just think if i had stayed. It would have destroyed little me. It also gave me the opportunity to learn so much about me and what I want. I am not sharing this for sympathy but to gain knowledge on what a good dd/lg should look like to assure myself that I am on the right page with what good for me as a little...

[Guest dadBADDY]

While it hurt and is sad to think about I am not sorry it happened...just think if i had stayed. It would have destroyed little me. It also gave me the opportunity to learn so much about me and what I want. I am not sharing this for sympathy but to gain knowledge on what a good dd/lg should look like to assure myself that I am on the right page with what good for me as a little...

This! I love your attitude   good for you..

[Guest Sirchristo1]

Yes one of the things I am learning in my journy in this new lifestyle is if I am the stronger and more secure one in the dd/lg then i am not really the little...it may be wrong but i feel like i should not be spending a whole day reassuring Daddy that he is enough...shouldn't he come into KNOWING he is enough or am I not wrong??

I will throw out there, for what it's worth, Daddy's need reassurance at times but, in my instance, it's not my Little having to tell me continuously that I'm enough, it's more actions. The unexpected phone call during the day when I know she is busy at work, text messages, our gym workouts, our regular phone calls, the list could go on and on. These things say a lot. She is very good at reassuring me when needed but most of it is just in her actions.

[wanttobebabygirl]

I will throw out there, for what it's worth, Daddy's need reassurance at times but, in my instance, it's not my Little having to tell me continuously that I'm enough, it's more actions. The unexpected phone call during the day when I know she is busy at work, text messages, our gym workouts, our regular phone calls, the list could go on and on. These things say a lot. She is very good at reassuring me when needed but most of it is just in her actions.

 

I do get that Daddy's need reassuring too...that is not what i meant. When it comes to who every my Daddy may be i do stuff like that as well but it was getting exhausting making sure he was secure and then not getting any of what i need to be secure...does that make sense...oh i am not explaining it right.

[Guest Sirchristo1]

I do get that Daddy's need reassuring too...that is not what i meant. When it comes to who every my Daddy may be i do stuff like that as well but it was getting exhausting making sure he was secure and then not getting any of what i need to be secure...does that make sense...oh i am not explaining it right.

No you are explaining it fine, I understand. My point was that those things should be enough reassurance for your Daddy almost all of the time.... and you should not be lacking in what you need to feel secure either. I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't have to continuously reassure your Daddy, unless it's unusual circumstances he should find reassurance in the everyday little things.

Edited October 13, 2017 by Sirchristo1

[Daddylovesme]

I have not been LDR however, I used to have a Dom (not a Daddy though as that was not part of my life yet) who was very abusive to me. I stayed there because I thought he loved me, and he would often be the sweetest person ever. But he was also ignore my safe words, and do things that were outside of my limits (IE :hard limits). He would then drive me home and not talk to me or text me for several days. Perhaps it was TopDrop, I dont know. However, it left me in subdrop, upset, scared, and confused. I would talk to him about it and he would tell me I was being too sensetive and to lighten up. Thinking maybe he was right, I tried to do that. This led me to go through a series of several depressive episodes. 

 

The final straw was when he decided to end a scene right in the middle of it, say we were done, and then just dropped me off and then didnt talk to me for a week. 

 

I decided that was it, and I walked. I knew it was not anyones fault but mine to stay in that situation. HOWEVER, I would also like to remind everyone that abusive relationships are not just that easy to get out of. You are mentally in a place where the abuser has control, and you become scared to leave them for fear of them hurting you more, or worse, themselves. 

 

Its called victim attatchment, and it is a thing. 

 

But back on topic, this was definetely innapropriate of him, and you did the right thing. I now have a wonderful Daddy who communicates really well with me, and I try to with him as I am still learning that this is okay now. Most Daddy's are not this way, at least not the real ones. He wasn't ready for a relationship.