Nmp Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 We’ve been together for ten months. This might be too much information for someone but we used to have sex almost daily. Two months ago he started to want less and less sex and now we haven’t had anything sexual for a month.. yeah we cuddle but I need more. And I’ve tired, I’ve send him pictures, put on a cute outfit but he just doesn’t care.. and gets upset with me if I bring it up. Advices?
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 To a certain extent, there's always going to be a decline in frequency over time, as one moves out of the 'honeymoon' phase, but this sounds like more. Is there something going on in his life that's stressing him? 1
Nmp Posted October 13, 2017 Author Report Posted October 13, 2017 I know he’s a little bit busy with his work but he has always had time for me even when he was a lot busier. So that can’t be the reason
TwilightSparklez Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 Have you tried having an adult conversation with him talking about how you feel and trying to understand where he is at? If he can't talk about it that's an issue, communication is key.
Nmp Posted October 13, 2017 Author Report Posted October 13, 2017 Yeah I’ve tried to bring it up and talk about it like adults but he gets upset with me that I only think about myself and what I want.. and when I said that I feel like he doesn’t want me sexually he said that again I’m only thinking about myself
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 Yeah I’ve tried to bring it up and talk about it like adults but he gets upset with me that I only think about myself and what I want.. and when I said that I feel like he doesn’t want me sexually he said that again I’m only thinking about myself Oh, big red flag there. Yeah, anyone can be busy or stressed or whatever and hunker down for a while, but he's gaslighting you. He's making a relationship problem -- *his* problem, as far as I can tell -- into your problem so he doesn't have to deal with it. This is not okay. 3
Nmp Posted October 13, 2017 Author Report Posted October 13, 2017 Oh, big red flag there. Yeah, anyone can be busy or stressed or whatever and hunker down for a while, but he's gaslighting you. He's making a relationship problem -- *his* problem, as far as I can tell -- into your problem so he doesn't have to deal with it. This is not okay. Yeah I agree, but I’m transgender and many people don’t want me and he’s seen all sides of me and that’s why I don’t want to let go of him just like that. And he’s also my first since I’m only 20 1
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 Arg. That's hard. It's easy enough for me to say DTMF, but I'm not in your situation. I don't think it's going to get better by itself, though. Do you have (safe) access to any sort of counselling resources? Not for him, but for you to work through your own feelings? I know for a fact that a good counsellor can be a lifesaver. 3
Nmp Posted October 13, 2017 Author Report Posted October 13, 2017 Arg. That's hard. It's easy enough for me to say DTMF, but I'm not in your situation. I don't think it's going to get better by itself, though. Do you have (safe) access to any sort of counselling resources? Not for him, but for you to work through your own feelings? I know for a fact that a good counsellor can be a lifesaver. Yeah I have but I don’t feel comfortable about it and this subject
ernesto23 Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 (edited) We’ve been together for ten months. This might be too much information for someone but we used to have sex almost daily. Two months ago he started to want less and less sex and now we haven’t had anything sexual for a month.. yeah we cuddle but I need more. And I’ve tired, I’ve send him pictures, put on a cute outfit but he just doesn’t care.. and gets upset with me if I bring it up. Advices? Well, first step would be to taalk to him, just you told this to us here... Edited October 13, 2017 by ernesto23
Guest dadBADDY Posted October 13, 2017 Report Posted October 13, 2017 I don't have any advice for you unfortunately.. I can only say that having my particular love language being physical touch this is and has been a big problem for me. I need sexual contact in my committed relationship and when i don't get it I immediately feel unloved. Like to the point where it may not even be real at all but it feels so f'n horrible. So now I make sure that this is communicated up front because I don't ever want to find myself in that situation again. Its hard though because everyone is different.. I think for me finding a partner whose love language is also physical touch is very important. For people who don't have the same language they probably don't understand how important it is. I imagine his is not and it sounds like yours could be, without me knowing of course. But if it is then I certainly feel your pain. There is just nothing worse..
Nmp Posted October 13, 2017 Author Report Posted October 13, 2017 Turned out that he is depressed but didn’t want to mention it earlier because he felt weak. And now I want to help him but I feel like I’m getting into a bad mood too
ernesto23 Posted October 17, 2017 Report Posted October 17, 2017 Turned out that he is depressed but didn’t want to mention it earlier because he felt weak. And now I want to help him but I feel like I’m getting into a bad mood too According to my expirience, it is better to stay out of such "stories", trust me, people who want to help themselves they do that, those who want you can't help him...
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