I need help with communicating online.

[Guest dadBADDY]

Hey everyone! So I've known this about myself for a long time and just now had the thought to ask for some help.

 

When it comes to real world conversations, I have no problem approaching and having a conversation with someone new. I actually find it to be a lot of fun and I do it often. I just like meeting new people. And I do online too, except I'm pretty terrible at communicating online because I'm such a non verbal communicator. ie.. I read body language in order to get a sense of who it is I'm conversing with.

 

Online, I find it really difficult to gauge a person's interest or know whether something is meant in jest or serious... it's all super confusing to me and I find myself just kind of stumbling along. It's very frustrating when you just want to connect with someone and you know you'd do much better if the conversation was face to face.

 

So my question is... does anyone have any advice on communicating via PM's or the chat? There is definitely room for improvement on my part. And I want to improve!

 

Any and all advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance..

[Guest McLeodLot65]

Oh, that's a good question. IRL, we have so much nonverbal and contextual cues at our disposal, but online we lose all of that - it's like trying to read through a pinhole in a piece of paper. I tend to compensate by using smily-faces (even though I swore I never would) and proofreading my own texts to death. You can also just ask for clarification, and I've done that in the past, too. Still tough, though.

[GothicDaddy]

I absolutely understand where you are coming from, with text communications I prefer to stay as genuine in my responses as I can. Sarcasm and jokes are saved for when there will be much less room for misinterpretation.

It may be awkward but if you are unsure if something was a joke or how it was meant just ask, I find most people would rather explain than be misunderstood. Feel free to message me to chat anytime, nothing helps more than actually chatting with people until you feel more comfortable with it.

Hope this helps

[Guest littleaddie]

I’m the same way, but juss be urself. If u find someone interesting look at their profile, see wat they are about/ wat they like, and pm them off of wat u read and add something in there from their profile. Ie: i love pizza sooo u can message me saying hii queenstuffy i saw u like pizza then BAM the conversation starts.

 

Hope i helped u if not i sorry

 

Message me if u want thoo

[Guest PrincessLovebug]

I feel emojis do help a lot or explaining a little more than you normally would, but yes its always good to ask before feeling insulted cause I know for me  some of my jokes or sarcasm kinda gets taken the wrong way or misunderstood. When you feel its a serious conversation then don't be afraid to say how you feel cause the other person cant pick up on the look peoples eyes usually give away and all those things they are afraid to say.

[Guest dadBADDY]

Oh, that's a good question. IRL, we have so much nonverbal and contextual cues at our disposal, but online we lose all of that - it's like trying to read through a pinhole in a piece of paper. I tend to compensate by using smily-faces (even though I swore I never would) and proofreading my own texts to death. You can also just ask for clarification, and I've done that in the past, too. Still tough, though.

Like trying to read through a pinhole in a piece of paper... awesome literary analogy and maybe the most accurate I've come across. That's pretty much what it feels like! And yeah... smileys... uuggghhhh.. sometimes I cringe at the thought. I love when littles use them I think its so damn adorable. But as a DD it just doesn't feel right. I'm beginning to have a change of heart... slllloooowwwlllyyy..

 

I absolutely understand where you are coming from, with text communications I prefer to stay as genuine in my responses as I can. Sarcasm and jokes are saved for when there will be much less room for misinterpretation.

It may be awkward but if you are unsure if something was a joke or how it was meant just ask, I find most people would rather explain than be misunderstood. Feel free to message me to chat anytime, nothing helps more than actually chatting with people until you feel more comfortable with it.

Hope this helps

Yeah I used to opt for the witty, clever responses and I tended to confuse people i think. These days my responses are much more serious than I would say I usually am, although it's still in my nature to be serious. Just not as often. Thanks for the offer I'm gonna take you up on it Gothic. Practice is definitely needed. And making new friends is always a plus..

 

I’m the same way, but juss be urself. If u find someone interesting look at their profile, see wat they are about/ wat they like, and pm them off of wat u read and add something in there from their profile. Ie: i love pizza sooo u can message me saying hii queenstuffy i saw u like pizza then BAM the conversation starts.

 

Hope i helped u if not i sorry

 

Message me if u want thoo

Nice to know I'm not alone in this. I figured I wasn't but I read and I read and others just seem to communicate with an easyness about them that I haven't quite figured out yet. Um... yeah pizza might be the single greatest food invention.. consider the conversation on! Well... soon I'm running late atm..Thanks Stuffy.

 

I feel emojis do help a lot or explaining a little more than you normally would, but yes its always good to ask before feeling insulted cause I know for me  some of my jokes or sarcasm kinda gets taken the wrong way or misunderstood. When you feel its a serious conversation then don't be afraid to say how you feel cause the other person cant pick up on the look peoples eyes usually give away and all those things they are afraid to say.

So like McLeod I have such a hard time succumbing to the emoji.. but I can definitely see how they help in getting across the sentiment behind a message. It's just going to take some getting used to i guess. As far as the fear goes... it's a real thing when you're not sure if it's too early or if you've read the vibe wrong and say too much too soon in regards to how you feel.. or what you really want to say. I guess you never know though until you just do it. Thanks bug!

 

 

Really appreciate everyone's responses here. Hope this helps others too because it sure helps me..

[Untwisted]

 like trying to read through a pinhole in a piece of paper

 

Yes, I love that.  It is a frustration not having that in-person interaction.

 

I'd say avoid the long speeches and keep things fairly neutral till you've talked to someone enough to have a bit of rapport and can gauge the humour (yes, that is the correct spelling)

 

Don't fear the smiley   

[Guest dadBADDY]

Yes, I love that.  It is a frustration not having that in-person interaction.

 

I'd say avoid the long speeches and keep things fairly neutral till you've talked to someone enough to have a bit of rapport and can gauge the humour (yes, that is the correct spelling)

 

Don't fear the smiley 

 

Lol. That's some seriously good humor!