Daddy is depressed. :(

[Guest pacibrat]

I'm in a long distance relationship with a Daddy.  It's a complicated situation because we both know that we probably aren't going to live happily ever after together forever, but we do make each other happy in the here and now.  Well, usually.  Daddy says he is depressed/just not feeling like himself lately.  So, I am being my usual little self but his responses aren't like they used to be.  He does respond, but his responses tend to be shorter and not Daddy enough. I misses my Daddy!!!  

 

I know for a fact that he is telling the truth about the way he's feeling.  I just don't know what to do.  I don't want to leave him while he's feeling down, but I also don't want to pressure him to Daddy me if he's not feeling it.  Should I just continue to be little/talk to him daily (we also interact as adults obviously) and ride it out?  I don't chatter at him as much because I don't want to bother him.  Anyone else been through this?  Any advice?

[Tinka]

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Edited May 13, 2018 by Tiny_Tina

[Guest pacibrat]

Depression is a tricky one, because its as if you are tired and exhausted mentally and no ammount of sleep can give  you energy.

This affects relationships of course.

 

When you feel emotionally exhausted, you cant put any effort into human interaction.

Not because you wouldnt want on your normal state. Depression is a totally different state.

 

Its not about daddy or you anymore. Its about a human who faces depression. 

Do not stop sending messages to him, why would you stop? Just because he is not what he was anymore? The "i dont want to bother him" excuse is not caring much, especially with something that needs attention and affection. People die from depression, leaving them alone with ther thoughts or emptyness is not the best move to go with.

 

And one more thing, no dont be a little now. Dont be a brat or a needy little girl. Truth is, he cant caress you now. Or attend to your every need. 

Let me say it poetically because i m not so good with english expressions--> his soul sleeps day by day even more. 

 

So be a partner. Forget the dd/lg relationship for a while. If you have genuine feelings for this person, and not selfish attention need, then sit down, and ask him questions. Questions that will help him identify the problem. Offer solutions, offer alternative perspectives, offer silent friendship when he needs it. Offer hugs.Offer compassion. Offer practical advices, offer patience and courage, stand by his side, as long as it takes for him to step out of it.

It might never be trully ok, but he CAN get back from it. 

 

May he get better ! <3

 

Thank you for this perspective.  <3 I don't have experience in dealing with such a deep depression in someone else. This really helps me to understand how I can help him.  I really do care for him as a Daddy and as a friend.  

[Tinka]

Thank you for this perspective.  <3 I don't have experience in dealing with such a deep depression in someone else. This really helps me to understand how I can help him.  I really do care for him as a Daddy and as a friend.  

Anything you want,just pm me , its gonna be alright  

[meiji]

hello, little one! i want to hug you for holding up until now! ;n;

...i understand that depression can be a lot to handle if you're not used to it. but now is the time for you to be strong for your daddy. talk to him. give him gentle reminders that you'll always have his back. help him find alternatives to the problems he might open up to you. if you can, be the sunshine that he needs. because he's still the same person, yeah? he will still need you, and i suggest you continue being yourself. if he needs space, he can tell you, and you both can respect that. also, it's good to have this mindset: it will get better. best of luck to you two! c:

 

p.s: don't forget to take care of yourself too. if your efforts feel like they're in vain, be resilient. you can do this!

[Guest pacibrat]

hello, little one! i want to hug you for holding up until now! ;n;

...i understand that depression can be a lot to handle if you're not used to it. but now is the time for you to be strong for your daddy. talk to him. give him gentle reminders that you'll always have his back. help him find alternatives to the problems he might open up to you. if you can, be the sunshine that he needs. because he's still the same person, yeah? he will still need you, and i suggest you continue being yourself. if he needs space, he can tell you, and you both can respect that. also, it's good to have this mindset: it will get better. best of luck to you two! c:

 

p.s: don't forget to take care of yourself too. if your efforts feel like they're in vain, be resilient. you can do this!

Thank you so much!  Adult me has to be so strong all the time and it's rare that someone recognizes that I need huggles too. <3  Your advice is very helpful.  For now, I think I will tone down little me some but not go completely adult all the time.

[Nmp]

My daddy is depressed too and on top of that we argue a lot.. I don’t want to leave him but this is making me a little depressed too

[Guest pacibrat]

My daddy is depressed too and on top of that we argue a lot.. I don’t want to leave him but this is making me a little depressed

 

These comments are very helpful.  I hope that your Daddy gets back to himself soon.  We just have to remember that we're all human.