What makes a Daddy?

[Batbrat]

Forewarning, I’m not sure if any of this will trigger anyone, so I guess read carefully and I’m sorry if this accidentally hurts anyone.

 

So I guess I need to know what really makes a Daddy, well, a Daddy. Because my first and only daddy was a little…. interesting and I need to know if that’s how a daddy should be, or if he was just an odd case.

 

He was sweet and kind in the beginning of our relationship, bringing me snacks and foods and taking me on little trips. But then all of a sudden everything seemed to be a chore for him if it went beyond the food and adventures. I had to ask for rules many times before they were given and then were never enforced. He never wanted to punish me with spanking or time-outs or toys taken away. His punishment was ignoring me until I cried and apologized. Is that normal? He said that whenever I acted up I was manipulating him to get a punishment and that I should just tell him if I wanted it. I didn’t think I was manipulating….. He had a terrible temper so I tried to keep him happy the best I could. He made fun of/ imitated my laugh. Aftercare only happened in the beginning, after a year, he’d quickly clean me up, then leave me for at least 10 minutes every time to go clean himself up. Is that what daddies normally do? He used to comfort me when I was scared but then he acted like I was too big to be scared of thunder or really heavy rain. I feel like that’s not normal, but I don’t know. You guys can tell me if I was just being selfish and broke up with him for selfish reasons. But I guess the part that made me most sad was he didn’t seem to care when I left him.

 

So do daddies normally act like that? Like I said, I’ve only ever had one daddy before so I’m not all that experienced. Was I just being super bad and I didn’t know it? He told me he really wanted to be my daddy. What really makes a daddy a daddy?

[Rebel]

I can't speak from experience because this is all fairly new for me, but this is what I think. And sorry for any typos or things that seem off, I am writing this on my phone.

 

While everyone is looking for something slightly different, I believe a daddy should set rules and lead by example, while being leinient during the appropriate times. I don't believe any CG should ignore their little but rather punish them accordingly and the next go back am dead make sure the little understands what they did wrong, and what to do next time. And it keeps going by but in my opinion that's doesn't sound normal, and doesn't sound like a great daddy. Try bringing all that up to him, tell him what you want and see if y'all can come up with something.

[Guest Prat]

What he did was abusive and nowhere near how a Daddy should be. You didn't do anything bad besides waiting as long as you did to dump him. He disregarded aftercare, red flag. He ignored you, red flag. He made fun of you, red flag.. There's a bunch of red flags here...he's not just a bad Daddy, he's a bad person.

 

Anyway, you did the right thing. Daddies shouldn't be like that.

[Guest Medic516]

I agree with Prat, he was abusive and you did the best thing you could, broke up with him. DD/lg is supposed to be mutually satisfying with both Daddy and little girl getting both their needs met. Of course every relationship is different but traditionally in this lifestyle your Daddy should do everything they can to make you feel happy, safe, cared for, protected, nurtured, mentored and loved. Daddies usually need to be needed and by providing their little with meeting their little needs, it fulfills your Daddy's needs. Like I said, everyone's relationship is different, but that's how I see it.

[Guest Zephy]

I see these kind of questions popping up quite frequently. But to be honest that had nothing to do with him being a "Daddy" or not. He simply had lost feelings for you and started to act indifferently. He may have wanted to force a break up hence why he didn't seemed to care when you did. You didn't do anything wrong, you couldn't have done anything wrong in these kind of situations. Don't dwell over it too much.

[Guest ~Luna Rawrs~]

If anything, he was the one manipulating you. I personally haven't had a daddy, but I do know a daddy is caring, loving, and somewhat strict when needed to be. They shower you with hugs and kisses and they play with their littles cx

 

Some daddys inforce rules at the beginning, or as time goes by, and some daddys have unspoken rules that arent written down or anything.

 

Like what Prat and Medic said, he was being abusive. Emotionally and mentaly, what he did wasn't your fault. He put you down, ignored you till you cried, and mocked you. That wasn't a healthy relationship.

 

It wasn't selfish of you to break up with him, you did what you had to do.

[Nymph]

I think he started well because he forced himself to be who you wanted him to be. You can only pretend for so long before it turns into a tedious chore, it's exhausting and draining. Honestly is the most stupid thing anyone can put himself through and you end up hurting yourself and the person you tried to get.

 

He did sound passive-aggressive and very much in the abuse department. Be glad you are free of him before things escalated.

 

A good daddy is nothing but the right person for you, you just happen to be into this lifestyle so ideally he would be as well or at the very least be understanding of your needs.

 

I am sad to report he is not an "odd case" there is waayyyy too many guys out there doing all kinds of things if it means they will get a chance with a girl, some genuinely like the concept of being a daddy but once in the middle of it discover it is not for them and that is cool. Some others are just abusive losers who try to take advantage of you and that is of course never cool.

 

Love and respect yourself enough to recognize when others don't and don't waste your time with them!

[Guest SUeB]

Hate seeing things that suggest all daddies should act the same. The only thing you need to worry about is what you want from the relationship. His behaviour is nothing to do with being a daddy or not. All daddies are different. There is no such thing as "all daddies should....."

[Batbrat]

Edited October 5, 2017 by Batbrat

[Guest SUeB]

[Untwisted]

Abusive? Really?  He was doing his thing, it wasn't her thing, that's just incompatibility.  He may have been incapable or insensitive but simply being a bad match isn't automatically abuse.

@Batbrat, no you're not in any way selfish for ending something that wasn't right for you, and if he didn't seem to care, I find that really sad.

What makes a daddy a daddy? You do.  There is no "normal", it doesn't matter what someone decides to call themselves, they are just a person.  If you decide that they fulfil the role of daddy for you and you want to give them that title, that makes them your daddy, nothing else does.

[Guest Arc]

There is no right or wrong way to be a daddy. It's just whatever works for you and fulfils what you need, and what the daddy needs too.

 

If you had to constantly ask for rules, then it wasn't working for what you need. That isn't on him, though. It's not who he is if he wasn't wanting to do that. The same with the punishment. It's not who he is. I don't agree with him ignoring you and calling that a punishment, but if punishment isn't his thing then he probably just did whatever meant he didn't have to do anything to you. I don't agree with what happened and I wouldn't go so far to call him abusive, but what he did wasn't right. He should have communicated that he couldn't do or be that for you. 

 

A relationship with a Daddy should be what gives BOTH of you what you need. Like any relationship, really. If he wasn't giving you what you need then you can't try force him to. It's either going to work or it's not.

 

Just don't let this scare you off. You'll find someone eventually who is more compatible with your needs to be your Daddy.

[Guest chilldude]

Ignoring a little is NEVER an option. That will just make them fear being totally abandoned
 

He made fun of you? People in any type of relationship don't do this and this behaviour astounds me, and not in a positive way

A lack of aftercare? Again another big mistake

He was a jerk. Daddies are not all the same. Some will love to spank, others might not. As a little, possible punishments should be talked about with potential daddies. However what all daddies do have in common is a desire to care, discipline and love their little