Age of a caregiver

[FLdaddy]

OK. I am sure to ruffle some feathers with this one. I will say what is on my mind, give both sides of the argument, and then see what everyone else has to say.

 

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT SAYING I AM RIGHT AND YOU NEED TO THINK LIKE ME!

 

Now that is out of the way lol. I have been looking around here in some of the post. I am sure we can all agree that 85% of the caregivers out here are male. It may be lower, but due to that fact I will just be using daddy's as an example for this discussion. Now. I have seen a major in flux of younger male's coming to this sites as well as others claiming to be "daddies". First off to each their own!

 

My opinion with the younger age of these " daddy's " is a simple one. You are still kids your self. You can barley take care of yourself. My experience with the younger daddy types are the ones that want to bow their cheat out and be more of a man by having a little call them daddy! There are expectations to this. There are those out here that have put in the time and sacrifice it takes to be called a daddy! To those, I tip my hat! Keep up the good work!

 

Now the same can be said for the ones I hate the most! The older type daddy's. With the advent of sites like reedit, tumbler, Instagram, and so on. The ddlg community has been overwhelmed with "fake" daddy's. These are the older men whom found out if they act a certain way then can get a nice young woman to get really attached to them. This is even more dangerous than the younger guys! See with age "does come wisdom". So these predators know how to manipulate and get their way.

 

I hate to say it but a lot of you littles out here are so eager to get a " daddy" you are willing to do anything. There is the scary part. I know you just want to be cared for, loved, protected, and not be judged for being yourself. With the ddlg community already looked upon by the rest of the bdsm lifestyle as the black sheep, now we have to deal with this.

 

So does age really matter for a caretaker? Y/N? My opinion is yes and no. Yes they need to be a little older to have a better understanding of what it means to be a caregiver, and no because a 20 year old with 2 years experience is better than a 50year old with only one month. However we all had to start somewhere. Just use your head and stay safe. What do you think?

[Guest Lucio]

OK. I am sure to ruffle some feathers with this one. I will say what is on my mind, give both sides of the argument, and then see what everyone else has to say.

 

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT SAYING I AM RIGHT AND YOU NEED TO THINK LIKE ME!

 

Now that is out of the way lol. I have been looking around here in some of the post. I am sure we can all agree that 85% of the caregivers out here are male. It may be lower, but due to that fact I will just be using daddy's as an example for this discussion. Now. I have seen a major in flux of younger male's coming to this sites as well as others claiming to be "daddies". First off to each their own!

 

My opinion with the younger age of these " daddy's " is a simple one. You are still kids your self. You can barley take care of yourself. My experience with the younger daddy types are the ones that want to bow their cheat out and be more of a man by having a little call them daddy! There are expectations to this. There are those out here that have put in the time and sacrifice it takes to be called a daddy! To those, I tip my hat! Keep up the good work!

 

Now the same can be said for the ones I hate the most! The older type daddy's. With the advent of sites like reedit, tumbler, Instagram, and so on. The ddlg community has been overwhelmed with "fake" daddy's. These are the older men whom found out if they act a certain way then can get a nice young woman to get really attached to them. This is even more dangerous than the younger guys! See with age "does come wisdom". So these predators know how to manipulate and get their way.

 

I hate to say it but a lot of you littles out here are so eager to get a " daddy" you are willing to do anything. There is the scary part. I know you just want to be cared for, loved, protected, and not be judged for being yourself. With the ddlg community already looked upon by the rest of the bdsm lifestyle as the black sheep, now we have to deal with this.

 

So does age really matter for a caretaker? Y/N? My opinion is yes and no. Yes they need to be a little older to have a better understanding of what it means to be a caregiver, and no because a 20 year old with 2 years experience is better than a 50year old with only one month. However we all had to start somewhere. Just use your head and stay safe. What do you think?

Hi!

 

first off, i agree with pretty much everything you said. im 18 years old and in the beginning "classified" myself as a daddy, but about a week later after doing some more research i had come to the conclusion i just havent had enough experience to  "earn the title" so i edited my profile.

 

right now, im talking to an amazing girl (she is a little) for a couple of weeks who has more experience than me and is a few months older. i pretty much let her know from the get-go that im as good as inexperienced and that im still learning and might not meet her expectations. i believe this is the way to start if the DDlg lifestyle suits you, no matter what age you are. try and do research, start up nice and slow and take your time. i really dont want to dive in head first and end up messing it up horribly. who knows, maybe im not suited to be a daddy after all? 

 

i appreciate your straightforwardness and wanted to throw in my two cents on the subject.

 

Have a great day!

[Guest SUeB]

Yep, ruffled feathers or not, i pretty much agree with you. In MY OPINION, no way can a dude in his twenties be a daddy or a dom. No way. And i really don't care about who gets offended. People are allowed their own opinions, end of story. It's not a personal dig at anyone, it's just a fact. It takes a certain type of maturity and life experience etc. Certain things that can only come with age. But of course, some older guys are absolutely incapable and useless at it too.

[Guest Lucio]

Yep, ruffled feathers or not, i pretty much agree with you. In MY OPINION, no way can a dude in his twenties be a daddy or a dom. No way. And i really don't care about who gets offended. People are allowed their own opinions, end of story. It's not a personal dig at anyone, it's just a fact. It takes a certain type of maturity and life experience etc. Certain things that can only come with age. But of course, some older guys are absolutely incapable and useless at it too.

So, agreeing with you on the part where someone has to reach a certain point of maturity and life experience, to rule out anyone in their 20's (lets say anyone below 26 y/o for arguments sake) thats kind of a really huge blanket statement.. i mean, fair enough, its gonna take me some years to fully grasp the concept of being an adult and the responsibilities that come with that, but to say its a FACT you cant be a daddy/dom in your 20's is kind of ridiculous, dont you think? (no, i did not take offense to what you said, i just wanted to some clarification ) 

[Guest SUeB]

It's a fact that i am able to have an opinion based on my own mind and experience. That's what i was saying.

[TwilightSparklez]

Just adding some science to this discussion and not meaning to be a feather ruffler (not a word, I know). The brain is not fully developed until the age of 25 and one of the last areas of the brain to develop is the rational part, or the pre-frontal cortex. It is the part that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Anyone under 25 processes information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part not the logical rational part.

[boomslang]

I'm going to disagree with the point on age.

 

Some men are not going to make good Daddies no matter how old they are or how much life experience they have. I also don't think older age = more maturity. I mean take a look around lol...

 

My own Daddy is a great example. I've known him since be was a little boy, and he has always always always been confident, caring, and dominant in personality. He was living alone, working, and financing his college education at 17. At 21, he was all set with a newly built home, four paid off vehicles, a degree, and the sweetest heart with a passion for me. (squee!) He was born to be a man's man and a Daddy lol.

 

Age is only one very small factor. Daddies come in all ages (just like littles). The *important part* is finding a match. I'm sure there are littles that would not be happy with my Daddy. And there are Daddies out there that seem like babies to me. It's why it's sooooo important to take your time and hash out all the details of a relationship before haphazardly committing.

[FLdaddy]

Genji Main. You are one of the exceptions to what I said. You took the time to realize there is more to it and have done your research. You are the type I can honestly be like hey man, what can I help you with? The fact you have the balls to tell a potential match for you that you are inexperienced is huge! My hats off to you!

[FLdaddy]

Cuddle snek. If you reread what I wrote you will see there are exemptions to what I say as far as the age thing goes. Just like Genji Main. Your partner is more of a man it seems that a lot of the older douchbags I have come across here and on other sites. As you can also see most will agree that guys in their early 20's lack the emotional, and rational senses that it takes to be a care giver. The reason I can say this is I was one of them a long time ago. All we were this king at that age is where do I eat, sleep, and where am I sticking Mr happy at tonight. People make sayings for a reason! Young, dumb, and full of cum. Think about it! It makes sense lol.

 

Now to add to all of this (mostly my disclaimer). As long as you and your partner are safe, sane, and consensual, you are doing it right! There are no right or wrong way of doing any of this! Even in the bdsm world. Master/slave, Dom/sub, there are no rules to follow! It comes down to the people involved in that relationship as how they will carry themselves. Who are we to step in and say " that's not right!"? If we all follow the same rules we would all be the same chocolate flavor (can't say vanilla lol). We guess what? That is why basking robins has 31 flavors! We are all different. We are aloud to have our own opinion. It is called free thinking!

[LilWittle]

I am a 21 year old little girl and my Daddy is 25 and he is also my boyfriend. So yes he is on the younger side. I have to agree and disagree with the OP and here is why. Of course he isn't going to have the experience that someone who is in there 40's or 50's and has been doing it for much longer in life. That is a given. But tell me when do they start to get that experience? It must come at some point and at some age. They have to start somewhere. Now I will never condone someone starting out either as a Daddy or a Little as a Minor, but you have to start somewhere. Why is it OK for a little to start right off at the age of 18, but a Daddy has to wait much longer? Both the Little and Daddies have crucial parts to play in this community that we are all a part of so I think if 2 younger individuals like myself and my Daddy want to start off their journey in this lifestyle together than go for it. Sure there might be some learning to do in the beginning, but that is for everybody who starts out and it doesn't matter what age you are. This is just my 2 cents as I have experience the last 17 months as my Daddies little girl and it has been fabulous even though he may not know all the tricks yet and either do I as a little.

[Guest Ally_cat]

Yep, ruffled feathers or not, i pretty much agree with you. In MY OPINION, no way can a dude in his twenties be a daddy or a dom. No way. And i really don't care about who gets offended. People are allowed their own opinions, end of story. It's not a personal dig at anyone, it's just a fact. It takes a certain type of maturity and life experience etc. Certain things that can only come with age. But of course, some older guys are absolutely incapable and useless at it too.

See here is where I think you're wrong. There are cases where there are people that have gone through a lot, and have gained wisdom and maturity. I was a young mature kid because I grew up in foster care, and I was pretty much on my own, so I had to grow up fast. I worked 2 jobs in high school, while still keeping my grades high. And in the midst of all that I was a little. So yes there are going to be inexperienced people and immature people,  but also mixed in with responsible and respectful  people. There will always be exceptions. 

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

So, do I have to look for older people because people in their 20's by law and proven fact since they know 100% of all the CG in the world, are irresponsible, lacking in experience and have no right to learn together with a little, and out of nowhere only age gives them the possibility of being able to be CG and they can not learn with their little one either.

Wow

I am a circle.

 

Of course, the adults who border the point of retirement, see as the most immature and irresponsible people in the world someone of 20's. But it is unfair to think that only because of that they no longer have the right to learn to be daddys. And how do you learn to do things in this life? And it is! doing them! Committing mistakes and learning from them. Age does not come from the hand of wisdom. And if you have no idea of ​​the personal experiences of EVERY CG in the world, you are not one to judge and say that it should not deserve to be called Daddy or Mommy.

 

Generalizing is a horrible practice. Let's talk about people as what they are, unique and unequaled beings with different lives and experiences. So they can NOT be classified as good or bad to do something based on their age.

 

I do not understand this desire of the older people to see young people without value. As if everything we said don't make sense, and only what they say is valid because they have a thousand years.

Edited December 16, 2017 by ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾

[cuppycakes]

I find this topic really interesting because 1. My daddy is 22 years old and 2. This seems to be putting people and relationships into a sort of box. I am comfortable calling my SO my daddy because of or commitment and love for each other. We’ve been together for 4 years now (not in the dynamic that long) and know each other’s wants, needs, strengths, and weaknesses. I feel that it all depends on not only the person, but also the relationship. I personally do not have the same needs that many other littles have. I need the love and support of a DDLG relationship, but not all the rules and punishments.

 

Generalizing not only the people but also the relationship can be dangerous in my opinion because so many people already have a preconceived notion of what DDLG SHOULD be instead of what it is to them. I actually had a really hard time identifying as a little for a while because I’m so different from what a typical little is stereotyped as. As a community I believe we should stay away from stereotyping and generalizing because it can hurt people and turn people away. “Oh, I’m not a little because I don’t like punishments”, or “Oh I can’t be a little because I don’t age regress”. Even superficial things like enjoying the color pink, being tall, overweight, or even being different skin colors. I’ve seen many posts here for people asking if they’re still little because “I’m black” “I don’t like ___” and even “I like adult cartoons”. This is not to say that those people are ignorant or dumb, but to say that as a community I think we should be more open to more possibilities of what relationships can be and what people can identify as.

 

My daddy would not be a good daddy in the traditional sense. If I needed someone to punish me and be strict, he would try his hardest (bless his big heart) but I don’t think he could do well at it. The thing is, I don’t need those things. I don’t need someone to remind me to eat or give me a curfew. He helps me remember to do some things if I ask, but ultimately it’s my responsibility as an adult to do those things. It’s fine if you don’t want to be responsible for those things as a little if your dom is willing to do those things for you (and likes it), but it’s not my thing. I don’t need to have a daddy who’s willing to do all of those things for me, because my independence may make him feel unfulfilled and not wanted.

 

Lastly, I will leave with a link to “no true way” by mellyboo, as I think we could always use a reminder of that. Thank you!

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16623-no-true-way/

[Wolfycheeks]

I thought older men naturally made the best caregivers, until I actually started meeting older men. Most of them were into the 'Daddy Kink', and not the actual side of DDLB/DDLG. They did nothing involving being a caregiver but loved to be called Daddy and some of them were just glad to have a young partner. 

 

I think age doesn't matter, but there's downsides and upsides to both. An older guy who is interested in DDLG/DDLB might have an actual more expierenced or genuine? (I don't mean genuine, I can't find the proper word lol) Daddy side, if he has kids of his own. Like, it's more natural perhaps. He's more expierenced of actually taking care of kids and might really know how to put someone in littlespace/middlespace.

 

Now, as I said, for some older men it's just a way to easily get a young girl or boy.

 

Then there's the younger guys, honestly this is a preference I think, but for me it feels less real when a younger guy is a Daddy, it feels a bit awkward. Perhaps because to older (actual dads) it's a natural instinct and they know what to do or how to put someone in littlespace? I don't know. Maybe it takes time. But ofcourse they can be caregivers too! Just like there's old men who think they'll easily get a girl/boy when they're pretending to be a Daddy, I think there's younger guys who are turned on by the idea of a girl/boy calling them their Daddy. As like, a kink. Because of the Father/Daughter relationship for example.

 

So, for me personally, I'd feel more comfortable with an older Daddy, one with experience/natural instinct, but I'm currently with a Daddy around my age and he's doing his best and that's good. It's just different.

 

In general, anyone can be a caregiver. I just imagine it would be easier for a parent haha.

 

Sorry for the weird explanation, my brain is fried.

[Guest pacibrat]

I disagree on the age factor.  This dynamic is pretty clear and I think that a younger person could definitely be a good Daddy.  Some men are immature at 40 and some men are mature at 21 (I know one).  Also, you can't truly equate age with life experience.  For example, a 40 year old could have lived in his mother's basement for most of his adult life and just used the internet while a 25 year old can be well lived and well traveled. In that example, the 25 year old has more life experience.  Don't discredit younger ones.

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

And I'm going to add something to what I said. To say that age is a 100% influential factor in a caregiver is as ridiculous as saying that you can only be little until a certain age because you get further and further away from your childhood age. And it is NOT that way. If you are 50 years old and you want to be a little, BE a little. And if you are 20 years old and you want to be a caregiver, BE a caregiver. And that's it. The only rule is respect and communication. And in this world that does not come hand in hand with age, if not, with the personal experiences of each person and can not be judged based on their age.

[xpaciprincesss]

I think that this is generalizing way too much.

While I understand OP's point, age doesn't really say much about one's maturity, experience or learning skills.

 

My ex is five years younger than me.

At 18 he had no previous experience in DDlg, opposed to my 2 years being a little. But when I brought it up, he really found himself in the Dominant role. Even when it was me, the little, who was teaching him, there was no doubt he had it in him to be a Caregiver. With the age and experience gap, calling him Daddy felt weird for both of us, as he was still learning. But, even while he was a shitty boyfriend, he was an excellent Caregiver to me and for the needs I had at that time.

 

So, to me, age is just one of many factors.

For a Cgl dynamic to work, it's entirely up to the people involved and their needs.

What one person considers a "good" Daddy, might not be for someone else.