I'm a Daddy who has just lost his Baba...

[daddytomybaba]

I want to get onto a personal level with you all on here, as I have things that I want to get off my chest, but obviously there isn't anyone in my life that I can share the more personal things with. I like to think of daddy doms and little girls as compassionate people, as you have to be compassionate to be involved in such a relationship, so I hope you can all relate to what I have to say and I hope that it makes you really appreciate what you have.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

 

On the 15^th September, 2 days before writing this, my baba broke up with me. From what I

understand, she was experiencing a lot of stress over summer due to the fact that I couldn’t find a job, which was causing me to become depressed, and the feeling of being free from all that when she started university was too powerful to resist, so she decided to end our relationship.

 

My baba struggled a lot with her anxiety. The future scared her, the unknown terrified her, and she often worried about losing me. Most people would be scared away by this, but I loved taken care of her. She would have unprovoked panic attacks in the middle of the night and where anyone else would pretend to be asleep to ignore it, I sat up with her for up to half an hour, at 3 oclock in the morning, calming her down. I knew her routine; sitting up and not speaking meant I had to hold her hand so she could squeeze away the fear, hyperventilation meant I had to put my head against hers, tickle her back and breathe slowly into her ear so that she could copy the pattern, and the process would end with a long, tight cuddle with her head in my chest and my fingers running through her hair. She especially liked it when I tickled her back or stroked her ear. She struggled with her self image too, but I eventually managed to convince her that she was beautiful. I was so proud of her when she began accepting my compliments.

 

She has broken up with me over text. I once said that I think breaking up with someone over text is such a cowardly, selfish way to break up with anybody, and I never expected baba to do that to me. After everything we’ve been through, after all the plans we’ve made for our future; getting a flat together, working towards our own careers, having an elvish-themed wedding, our Dog named Dexter, she’s ended our strong relationship over a text message. She refuses to answer my calls and she refuses to meet up with me despite the fact that I’m left all alone wondering what she’s doing, why she’s come to this decision, and why she’s discarding me and our relationship like a weekend fling when we were so much more. I feel completely taken advantage of and unappreciated, and I honestly thought my baba had far more respect for me than this. I have looked after my baba through thick and thin with back tickles, encouraging words and unlimited praises and compliments, and in return I get thrown into the gutter.

 

The way I’m dealing with it right now is by separating the two versions of herself, similar to the way baba separated ‘sir’, which is what she called me when I was telling her off, and ‘daddy’, which is what she naturally referred to me as. She loved daddy, but hated sir. I love baba, but hate this new girl. I believe being broken up with is worse than a death. A death is when someone you love, who loves you, is lost. Not by anyone’s choice, but against both parties will. Being broken up with is someone you love telling you they no longer want to be with you, and that is a far more difficult thing to have to deal with, but this is how I’m dealing with it.

 

Baba still wants to be with me. She still loves me, she still wants back tickles, she still wants cuddles, she still wants Dexter, and to live together, and to be loved and cared for by her daddy, but she is gone and been replaced by the new girl. The new girl has no respect for me or what I’ve done, and doesn’t want to be with me. She is not baba. I love baba, and I know she still wants to be with me, but I don’t love the new girl. She can go off to do what she wants, because she is not the girl I fell in love with.

 

To baba, I love and miss you. I’m sorry for putting you through stress. I’m sorry for not carrying back the mirror you wanted for your room. I’m sorry for leaving you at your accommodation crying as I went into the elevator. I think now, the reason you were crying wasn’t just because I was leaving you alone in your accommodation, but also because you could feel the overwhelming possession of the new girl taking over you, and you were scared. You knew you were going to change, and you knew this was possibly going to be the last time you’d ever see me, and I you. I remember walking away from the building towards the road at the top, and looking back hoping to see you running for me, but you never did. I wish, at that point, I returned to you. I’m also sorry for not coming to see you on Friday like I said I would, and that will always be my biggest regret. Perhaps if I did, I could have saved you. I could have saved us.

 

I love you baba.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

 

I've made some mistakes towards the end of our relationship that I will regret forever. To all the Daddy's out there, appreciate your little forever and always, because one day, you may not have her anymore. Everything will seem exactly the way it's always been, but she will leave. Love her, cherish her, take care of her. To all the Little's, I implore you to be open with your Daddy and talk about everything. If he loves you, which he most definitely does, he will listen to your problems no matter how small.

[Leo_Ascendent]

I can relate, really. The last person I was with, I honestly thought I'd be with forever. We met online in the summer of 2016 and hit it off almost instantly. We talked for a week, via text and decided to finally meet. No matter where I go or do in this life, I will remember when we met. We agreed to meet at Target (for those unfamiliar with the store, the England version would be Primark or maybe ASDA?), she was shy, and decided it would be fun to play hide-and-seek. I spent nearly 30 minutes looking for her. Finally, I found her, she had her back to me, but I could tell it was her, without a doubt. I was about 6in' taller, and a helluva lot lighter compared to her mocha skin. I bumped in to her, and she froze, turned around, and time froze when I saw her face in person.

 

Both of us being geeks and gamer, we went back to my place and started playing The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (a game I cannot finish now), we spent hours talking, laughing, and taking turns playing random games, or racing each other in Mario Kart. We had a bad storm, the power went out, and she stayed the night. We slept in the same bed, no sex, no making out, none of that, just talking and laughing.

 

As the months went on, we talked about visiting the Bahamas, where her family is from, about getting our own apartment, about traveling, about kids. I even thought about proposing to her.

 

Christmas came, and she told me she was bored of the relationship, that I was a rebound and didn't want to be with me anymore. It destroyed me. We spent so much time together, I was at her place, or she was at mine, we were hardly apart. It took a lot for me to get where I am today, and I almost didn't make it. Even to this day, when I see her (we work close to each other), I feel a small amount of both sadness and anger, and a sense of "what-if".

 

But it gets better.

 

Slowly, but it does.

[Guest SaladHater]

If this relationship is as strong as you say it was I would wait for a little bit honestly, two weeks max for a text from her. It's what I do when I believe things didn't end the way they should have. Just give her some space and maybe just maybe a small chance she will realize that she really needs you (: I hope all goes well buddy

[Sleepless]

This was honestly so heart breaking to read, it left me in tears. I understand how you're feeling completely right now, I've been in a very similar position to yours. I wish I could make it all better for you and bring your baba back to you, but I don't have the ability to do that. All I can do is to offer my ears if you ever need someone to talk to. Message me if you need to talk it out, that's what I needed when I went through what I call the "bad times". The more I got everything off my chest the better I felt. Sending you air hugs and wishing the best for you. Edited September 17, 2017 by MachoPrincess

[Guest Spd650]

Wow I too have experienced nearly the exact same phenomenon. You give 100% on every level. You have promises to stay friends for life. Then they disappear on you. Won't text even one word thst would alleviate so much pain. Are we not worthy of even that much effort?

Bottom line is that you are not alone. It wasn't you or me. It's just how they chose to protect themselves. At our expense.

Good luck. Better days ahead.

Steve

[Guest ilvnda]

Wow.. just Wow. That is something

[Prittykitty18]

Ive felt this but the otherway round . It was papi who left me . I promise one day it will stop hurting the way it does and you will look back at the memories in bittersweet pleasure as some of the best times of your life . Im always here if you need to talk .

[Guest chilldude]

Wait up to a month. Then reach out. If there is no interest in communicating, do everything you can to forget her and move on whether it be alone or looking for someone else. 

I know it hurts. I was in that position nearly a year ago. However the mistake I made was not letting go, and the pain just sat with me for far too long. Don't do what I did, and best of luck towards recovery or reconciliation 

[Strawberry Sprinkles]

I understand you're in a lot of pain right now. It takes a lot of courage to open up. Sending you my best wishes.

[daddytomybaba]

Thanks for all of the kind words.

[Guest infinitecases]

I'm sorry this happened to you Hopefully she reaches out soon as that seems like a very abrupt way to end a relationship. Perhaps she needs some time to herself to sort things out or maybe moving to university was a really big change for her and it made her really scared?.. Either way, if she loves you the way you love her, I'm sure she'll find her way back to you. 

[daddytomybaba]

She called me today. She says that she doesn't want to meet up, that she's ending it this way. I told her how wrong she's doing it and what it's doing to me, and she told me why she's come to this decision. I don't agree that the reasons should have amounted to a break up, but at the end of the day, she's happy and I told her that's all I ever wanted for her. We've ended on good terms, without drama, so that's a plus. Hopefully we bump into each other one day and reminisce.

[Nessie.Marie]

Edited September 22, 2017 by Nessie.Marie