I know the right answer already, but I need some help and advice, please?

[Tracy_Martel]

Okay, so hello everyone. I am a little and I sort of have a daddy. We haven't been able to go very far with our dd/lg relationship because he has a girlfriend. He is more than willing to expand our relationship to fully explore the dd/lg dynamic completely, but I am very hesitant. He says that he can't leave his girlfriend because there are children involved and I just kept thinking about how I would feel if I were her.

I really want him as my daddy, but my conscious won't let me go all the way with our relationship. Neither one of us is looking for a deep lifetime commitment, we only want to play out our dd/lg relationship, but I can't help thinking it's wrong to try having that with him when he's got a girlfriend.

Obviously, I should drop him and move on. That's the obvious answer. But I'm so stuck on him. Has anyone else been in a relationship like this? Any advice or anything at all would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!!

[littleApril]

well if they're okay with it it's okay... but it doesn't really sound like it... and cheating is always horrible! and you have some responsibility too in my opinion

[LittleBabyKitty]

I just had to end a relationship because my Daddy/fiance slept with another woman.  I am broken and torn into a million pieces, and I can't eat, sleep, or function.  Please put your own feelings aside, and consider how that woman (his girlfriend) would hurt if she knew her man was giving another woman attention (sexual or otherwise) behind her back.  How would you feel if you were her?

 

Please consider ending it with him.  It isn't fair to anyone involved, and being the woman that is cheated on changes her for her entire life.  Do you really want to be partly responsible for her pain?

 

I know you are stuck on him, but feelings are complicated, you'll come to expect more and more from him, and even you will probably end up hurt in the longrun.

 

Have a long think about this and do the right thing.

[Tracy_Martel]

We haven't done anything at all because I do not want to do anything with him that could be considered cheating. I haven't even held his hand. We've only had a discussion about starting a dd/lg relationship. I want him to by my daddy, but I can't morally enter into a relationship of any type with him while he's got a girlfriend. We only discussed it and I told him flat out that I refused any kind of romantic or anything that would be inappropriate with him as long as he's in a relationship with someone else.

I just can't seem to let him go. I can't get him out of my head. If his girlfriend would be okay with him having this kind of relationship on the side, it would be fine, but something tells me she would not be okay with that. I don't know her and I've never talked to her, but I'm not about to be a home wrecker.

[littleApril]

if i was in a relationship and my boyfriend daddy w/e would talk to another girl about starting a relationship... that is cheating.... 

you know he's in a relationship... do the right thing... as you say you already know what it is... and once a cheater always a cheater... you can be sure in time he would do the same to you... 

[LittleBabyKitty]

Even if he told you she was okay with it, he could be lying to just to have you on the side, and having you think everything is fine...but what happens if she finds out?

 

Men lie.  They cheat.  They'll say anything to get what they want.  Not all, but most.

 

Luckily I don't have the guts to do anything drastic to hurt myself, but that's the type of ultimate pain being cheated on causes.

 

If you INSIST on going through with this, you should demand that he let you speak to her YOURSELF and fully discuss the terms of that arrangement. 

 

Sorry if you don't like what I have to say, but please dear girl...think this through.

[littleApril]

 

 

Men lie.  They cheat.  They'll say anything to get what they want.  Not all, but most.

 

women do cheat too but that's not really all that important to the discussion

[LittleBabyKitty]

women do cheat too but that's not really all that important to the discussion

I think what I contributed to this discussion was perfectly appropriate, and I agree with what you said.  Obviously women cheat too, but her post was about a man potentially being her daddy, and even YOU said that was cheating.

 

So....?

[littleApril]

no i meant mine wasn't important to the discussion i'm sorry!! i didn't mean to attack or invalidate what you said at all

[LittleBabyKitty]

no i meant mine wasn't important to the discussion i'm sorry!! i didn't mean to attack or invalidate what you said at all

I didn't take it as an attack at all, I was trying to further understand what you were saying in your previous post, or thinking perhaps I misunderstood what you said in quoting that one line of mine.

 

I just wanna help Tracy make a good, fair decision to keep her and others from getting hurt.

 

Sorry if my message felt sharp, it's hard to read tone from text.

 

No hard feelings.

[boomslang]

Limiting your physical interactions doesn't make it "not cheating." You've gone too far, and it seems you know it. If he's being dishonest and sneaky with her, he'll likely do it with you. And you deserve better than to be someone's afterthought. Let this go and start fresh.

[Guest SUeB]

He's already cheating. Simple as that. You are a grown up and you know this is wrong. Up to you if you feel ok being the side piece while he treats his gf so poorly.

[Guest SUeB]

 

Men lie. They cheat. They'll say anything to get what they want. Not all, but most.

 

 

Seriously, lol? I don't even know how to politely respond to such a bitter, negative view.

[LittleBabyKitty]

Seriously, lol? I don't even know how to politely respond to such a bitter, negative view.

That's okay, I have a right to an opinion based on my experiences...it isn't meant to be bitter...it comes from being repeatedly hurt, cheated on, and abandoned by men who said anything to keep me around, who used me, and lied.

 

You don't have to respond, sorry you took it personally.  If you're a good man, then that's all that matters in your life.  I wasn't talking about YOU.

 

I said "not all, most"...

[Guest SUeB]

I'm a woman, i just don't like that whole mindset of "most men are...."

[Guest SUeB]

And to be fair, people will only treat us how we allow them to. So if it happens again and again, then maybe that needs to be addressed.

[LittleBabyKitty]

I didn't "allow" anyone to cheat on me.  I loved him wholeheartedly with all of my soul, was kind and supportive to him, I never made him choose me over his family or priorities.  I loved him in a way that made him feel love for the first time in his life.

 

One day he loved he and wanted to marry me, then suddenly he threw me out like trash.

 

Forgive me for having strong feelings, I'm in pain.

 

I was simply trying to tell Tracy to do the right thing, and what the men in MY life have done, and the pain it caused.

 

If the men or man in your life is wonderful, I'm happy for you and I envy you, and you must be doing something right, because I can't figure out what I did wrong to make him be so cruel to me.

[littleApril]

If the men or man in your life is wonderful, I'm happy for you and I envy you, and you must be doing something right, because I can't figure out what I did wrong to make him be so cruel to me.

you don't control what others do! when someone cheats on you it isn't your fault but theirs!

[Tracy_Martel]

You're all right. No matter how much I want to change the situation. It is what it is. And I will not be someone's side chick. I'm going to stop talking to him and cut him off. I don't need negativity in my life and I'm positive that I can find someone better who is not a lying cheater. I never meant for it to even get to the point of considering a relationship and I feel horrible for even doing that. I guess I'll I needed was someone to talk to about it all.

I'm not offended by what any of you guys posted. I already knew all of that. I just needed to have someone tell it to me as well, I guess. And even if he didn't have a girlfriend. I could never trust him to be faithful to me in a relationship after I've seen his behavior with his current girlfriend.

[LittleBabyKitty]

I know I'm nobody to you Tracy, but I'm proud of you for making this decision.  You deserve your own man that is all yours that will treat you like the Princess you are.

 

I'm sorry I got emotional in here, I'm just hurting so much.

 

I'm glad you're going to move forward, and I wish you so many blessings, and the Daddy of your dreams in the future.  You will find him, or he will find you.

 

::hugs::

[Guest SUeB]

I didn't "allow" anyone to cheat on me.  I loved him wholeheartedly with all of my soul, was kind and supportive to him, I never made him choose me over his family or priorities.  I loved him in a way that made him feel love for the first time in his life.

 

One day he loved he and wanted to marry me, then suddenly he threw me out like trash.

 

Forgive me for having strong feelings, I'm in pain.

 

I was simply trying to tell Tracy to do the right thing, and what the men in MY life have done, and the pain it caused.

 

If the men or man in your life is wonderful, I'm happy for you and I envy you, and you must be doing something right, because I can't figure out what I did wrong to make him be so cruel to me.

To be fair, she knows he is cheating, she is choosing to be involved, so why does that leave her innocent and needing support for making this choice? This isn't an insult to her, just a point that he's not the only one doing wrong here.

And trust me, i have been with some real monsters. I have lived through pretty much most forms of abuse and bad treatment by men. But i still don't judge all men the same. Some men are jackasse, some women are jackasses. That's it. I am sorry for the things you have been through, and all i was trying to say, was that if the same thinfs keep happening again and again to the same person, the common denominator in all those situations is that person. Same as it was with me when i kept attracting complete tools. And I'm not saying there is something wrong with you, lol, but there is almost always some reason someone keeps getting treated the same way by different people.

[Guest SUeB]

You're all right. No matter how much I want to change the situation. It is what it is. And I will not be someone's side chick. I'm going to stop talking to him and cut him off. I don't need negativity in my life and I'm positive that I can find someone better who is not a lying cheater. I never meant for it to even get to the point of considering a relationship and I feel horrible for even doing that. I guess I'll I needed was someone to talk to about it all.

I'm not offended by what any of you guys posted. I already knew all of that. I just needed to have someone tell it to me as well, I guess. And even if he didn't have a girlfriend. I could never trust him to be faithful to me in a relationship after I've seen his behavior with his current girlfriend.

I just developed a whole lot of respect for you. Yes, sometimes we need to hear harsh truth. Good for you for making the right decision.

[Tracy_Martel]

I know I'm nobody to you Tracy, but I'm proud of you for making this decision. You deserve your own man that is all yours that will treat you like the Princess you are.

 

I'm sorry I got emotional in here, I'm just hurting so much.

 

I'm glad you're going to move forward, and I wish you so many blessings, and the Daddy of your dreams in the future. You will find him, or he will find you.

 

::hugs::

[Tracy_Martel]

Thank you. ^.^

I do hope I find that someone someday.

I knew I needed to kick him to the curb because in my heart, I knew it was wrong. I guess all I needed was a voice of reason to confirm what I needed to do. I'm so sorry you're hurting and that happened to you. *hugs*

I'm really starting to think that all men are scum.

Btw, I've already let him know that I don't want this and that I won't have any part in him unfaithfulness any longer. But I still feel very guilty for even talking about it to him. I don't want to tell his girlfriend because I don't want to end their relationship. I think the best thing I can do is what I've already done, end communication completely, cut all ties, and move on with my life.

[Persephone_Persephone]

Sorry I've come in abit late on all of this wanted to post earlier but didnt have time.

 

I haven't read all the replies but sounds like your doing the best thing. My slant on it all is forget the adults what about the kids involved. Not one bit of this sounds healthy for anyome invloved. When kids are mixed up in all this you are all damaging them.

Really glad your doing the mature thing and getting away from it all.