Being bullied.

[Maids]

Trigger warning: Suicide and bullying.

 

Someone very close to me has just overstepped their boundaries and has hurt me deeply. This girl I met about 2 weeks ago online, who I connected with a very deep level

(only saying ME because she clearly didn't feel the same way) with, got into a fight. Basically what happened was that her "daddy" is very abusive to her emotionally and mentally who loves to isolate her

and leave her with nothing whenever he feels like it. Always feels like she's asking too much. We established a protection plan between us because we trusted eachother with that power. Her abusive Daddy kept coming into the chatroom wanting to chat with her about their relationship, even though there is other rooms where he has more authority. She gave me permission to boot him from the room, I did that all of twice in a 20 minute time period, then when she told me to stop, I did... but by then it was too late. He had already been livid. (Brief backstory: I had always been in littlespace when i'm around her, just came naturally i.e babytalking, lap sitting, being the biggest snuggle bug and being a bit of a whiner when she didn't give me snuggles, but in a playful way.) I made a suicidal joke saying that she didn't want me because she said she wanted to go a walk when I asked her to snuggle,  then her "Daddy" said "No one would miss you if you did." I ignored him or made lightly of it saying "Okay, noted. Thanks." then him and my Daddy were fighting (lets give her daddy a name; James. My abused friend's name is Lace.) and James had said that he would love to see me 6 feet under. With all those death wishes, Lace wasn't saying anything about it, simply only telling him to sit down. She then thought it was a good idea after I snapped back at James telling him to shut up and calling him an asshole, to tell me that "Yeah he shouldn't have said those things to you, but you're also taking it way out of proportion." I snapped and left.

 

 

Now, after messaging her hatefully saying that she wouldn't protect me from even things like that and defending her abusive daddy over me really hurt. I am now getting hateful messages from her online 'family', specifically, her brother "Cam". He sent me a message basically saying "Atleast she's mature enough to not throw tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants." when the only time I 'threw tantrums' was because I wanted snuggles, and it wasn't even real tantrums. it was just me pouting. He also went on to say "Atleast Lace also doesn't run around babytalking, she acts like an adult." which hurt because I shared my littlespace with her. I know she's just mad that she can't be in littlespace because she doesn't feel safe enough with James, but it really hurt to be mocked like that. The messages he sent weren't even hurtful, except for the fact that she's telling everyone about that and it hurts.

 

I don't know how to cope with this level of betrayal and hurt, I find it hard to get into littlespace or even think about it with my own Daddy now.

 

What do I do....?

 

Disclaimer: this is NOT on ddlgforum.

Edited September 7, 2017 by Kitten~

[Guest SaladHater]

Easy solution. Find a new friend kick her to the curb, worry about yourself before worrying about someone who doesn't even have the decency to apologize for saying it was your fault. Just hit her with that block button you seem like a good hearted girl. Don't let her words destroy your personality or what defines you as a littles.

[Maids]

@TacoLover  Thank you for your kind words. I know that stuff but it's still hard, because clearly I was more interested than she was.  Just disappointing.

[Nibba]

Cut her off. No point in trying to reconcile with someone like that in my opinion. I know it hurts emotionally but you have to think about your relationship with her objectively: If it's toxic and you feel betrayed or as if you completely misjudged that person, don't try to pursue anything if you know it won't work.

 

Also, don't let what her little "family" said hurt you. Who cares about what some random person who doesn't know you has to say about you? My guess is she talked shit about you to her friends because she knew no matter how selfish or wrong she was, they would invariably and unconditionally side with her to make her feel less guilty about her own mistakes. It's an annoying coping mechanism a lot of immature people have.

 

Sorry if I presumed too much. Good luck 

[littleApril]

being in an abusive relationship isn't easy for her... and she probably didn't see it as a betrayal... people always think it's easy to leave when you get abused... but the abuser usually makes the abused depended on him be it emotionally or otherwise...

she probably needs you as much as you need her but you should only be willing to do that and be there for her as long as it is not harmful to you

[Guest SaladHater]

@TacoLover  Thank you for your kind words. I know that stuff but it's still hard, because clearly I was more interested than she was.  Just disappointing.

You're only 19 according to your profile. You've got a lot of time to make new better friends who don't judge you.

[Cheshire Kitten]

being in an abusive relationship isn't easy for her... and she probably didn't see it as a betrayal... people always think it's easy to leave when you get abused... but the abuser usually makes the abused depended on him be it emotionally or otherwise...

she probably needs you as much as you need her but you should only be willing to do that and be there for her as long as it is not harmful to you

This. I'm not defending her actions toward you because it wasn't right how she treated you. I am sorry you're hurting and you had to go through this. However, I just want you to know - from what you wrote down, she is in a very dangerous situation. From personal experience, it's all about survival. Abusers can and will do anything to keep the victim a victim, and in turn, the victim will do awful things to survive in an awful situation.

[boomslang]

When it comes to stuff like this... You have what you allow. That is some whacked out drama right there. Time to drop the whole lot of them and move on. That's just ridiculous all around.

[Persephone_Persephone]

This all happened in just 2wks and is all online?

Simple answer spend less time online this isnt healthy and I suggest you leave whatever chat room your on.

[Maids]

@Everyone  -- thanks so much for the replies, taking time away from the situation and reading these comments have really helped me cope with the situation! Now it's just a matter of letting myself become vulnerable again, atleast only to my Daddy till a friend comes around that I establish trust with.

You guys who have commented, I couldn't thank you all enough for this level of support -- I never expected this, but I am extremely thankful. I hope you all are doing well and if anyone ever needs me to return the favour, please, don't hesitate. I owe you all a big one.