More Daddy than Dom

[Lovingneedydaddy]

I was just curious about something. I am more of a daddy than I am a dom. I do not have anything against bdsm I just am not experienced and would really like to learn at a slow pace. However I really love the daddy aspect of the relationship more. I am wondering if I am not the only one to be this way. I do not believe that I am but I also wonder if this is a major turn off to littles. I find the whole nurturing part of ddlg more fun than the bdsm part. I just find the whole story time, dressing, brushing hair ect to be more fun than actually caring alot of missing out on bdsm.

[LittlePupRune]

There are different kinds of caregivers, there are different styles of caregivers. Honestly, it all depends on what works for you personally and in your relationship. I know my style varies on what is needed with my little, to them I am a Master, Alpha, Daddy, and Sir. Each can overlap or exists separately depending on necessity. There is no "twu way" to be a caregiver. You can be primarily the nurturing or primarily the dominant and still call yourself a daddy. You know what works for you.

 

Hope that helps!

Edited September 1, 2017 by KittenLovesMe

[Guest infinitecases]

I don't think a little would necessarily be turned off, it's just that every little is different. They'll have different needs and wants in their daddy and whilst some may not like it, a whole lot of others will like it! I'm sure there are lots of daddies out there who are like you and would much prefer the daddy aspect I personally require both! 

[Nymph]

I think the reason they are turned off is because you are searching in a place aimed to BDSM and because you sound very shy. Take away the labels and what you got left is a very caring sweet man that wants to take care of his girl. TONS of vanilla girls would go crazy over that! now, of course if you like paci's and diapers you are still better off looking here.

 

Just look for someone who is clear she is not into pain and finds it scary, that she already tried and didn't like or is not interested to try it at all. Someone super sweet and romantic probably. It's all about to find the right match for you.

 

Be clear in your ad/profile and make sure they have read it and they are cool with it so you don't waste your time or theirs.

 

Good luck~

[Dominari]

You mentioned that you would like to learn at a slow pace. When you find someone get to know the kinks and limits that appeal to them. If she needs more structure, discipline, or submission then you would want to take on more of a Dominant role.

 

I was also the same way that you are. My little guided me through what she needed and desired. It was a slow process because I was always afraid that I would go to far or hurt her feelings. But she kept pushing me and urging me to be more Dominant. 

 

As a result I began to morph into a much more Dominant personality. We are fully into the BDSM lifestyle. I am her Daddy and she is my baby girl. She always addresses me as either Daddy, Sir, or Master.

 

It works out great. I am able to give her the tender loving care she needs; reading stories, messing with play-doh, etc. But I can also turn into a stern disciplinarian when necessary. I have learned the boundaries and we have a strong open communications with the safe words. Once she uses the safe word I am extremely apologetic; compassionate; and attentive. Then when she has received the proper aftercare we are able to discuss what happened and set it up so it won't take place again. It is constant learning about another human being and I think much more than a vanilla relationship.

 

Also, this change I have made into being more Dominant has helped me in life. I am able to stand up to people more, I don't let anyone push me around and I am able to say 'no' without feeling guilty. 

[Guest]

Hi there, I can't speak for others but I know that for me (as a little) having a good balance between a nurturing and affectionate daddy and a more dominant figure is something that really works for me. You mentioned that you really enjoy the nurturing side (e.g. story time and hair brushing) and I think depending on the little this can actually be a really attractive quality in a potential daddy. I know for me, I absolutely love how playful, sweet and nurturing my daddy is but I also like knowing that he's still dominant when he needs to be.

,

When I was really new (still pretty new haha) to the dynamic I was kinda surprised to find that I enjoyed the non-sexual aspects just as much (if not more sometimes, depending on mood) as the more BDSM related aspects. For me, I like having someone who I can interact with on multiple levels and I think if you feel more 'daddy' than 'dom' then you should absolutely roll with that and what you feel comfortable with and try not to worry about it being a turn off.

 

I hope you can find a little that you're compatible with (if you haven't already) and hopefully this helped a little

[Guest SUeB]

There are plenty of daddies that aren't doms. There is no "one size fits all". As with everything to do with any kind of relationship, it's simply about finding someone you are compatible with. Simple as that. Take your time.