Daddy gets mad at me

[TinyPinkBall]

I'm happy that this is all that has happened so far, because you can still work things out, but you should still be a little careful and try to talk to your daddy about what you can do to maybe relief his stress if that's his problem, or to help him feel more comfortable when he's not with you and can't reach you, like send a message to him before you go to lunch etc.

Things can go really bad if you don't start to work on problems (Yes even one-time things) fast enough, because it can always get worse and happen again. I had a daddy that ended up leaving me a couple months ago, and I still don't really know what happened. The last months we were together he went from a caring and loving daddy to an angry and verbally abusive man. Everything always ended up being my fault, and the tiniest mistake or misunderstanding turned into something really big and bad. He started telling me how useless I was and that I was just a disappointment because I did nothing right, and even worse things than that. He ended up leaving me after telling me how I ruined his whole life and that I was a disgusting person, I still have not gotten over this. I think that he got too stressed out but I don't know for sure, all I know is that I should've tried to talk to him when he started answering with "Whatever" whenever I told him about my feelings.

I don't wish for this to happen to anyone else so I really hope that you'll talk to him, and I mean seriously talk to him, don't just ask if he's okay, because it's easy to just say "yeah I'm fine".

 

But yeah, I really hope things will work out for the two of you <3 c:

[littlegirl ella]

No, it is not ok for a daddy to take his emotions and anger out into his little. It's never fair or reasonable for anyone to take their feelings out on someone else and that is especially when there is a difference in power. Everyone has the responsibility to do well by others as much to their ability and if a person can only do that in a small way or in special circumstances then they are someone best to avoid until they figure their behavior out. No one deserves to be mistreated no matter what the other person's issues are.

 

Im bipolar too. I'm glad to see other bipolar folks responding. Being bipolar doesn't make to less worthy of being supported or cared for. Bipolar people are told we are monsters or "hard to handle" and those statements are generally used as justifications for mistreating us. Honestly, you could be running nuts down the street and you STILL deserve to be treated kindly and with respect. If he struggles to support you in your needs related to mental and emotional health then he needs to work on himself, or admit he isn't the daddy you need and deserve. It's not your fault if he can't do it or isn't doing it.

 

Whatever your circumstances, it is not ok for your daddy to hurt you and hurt feelings count- you're still being hurt.

 

​I didn't mean to imply Daddy is hurting me in that sense... he does get frustrated at work and sometimes it sort of flows over into our happenings of the day but not necessarily directly AT me..  I can assure all of you he isn't a beast.  He is learning and like I mentioned before loving someone is new to him... We communicate often and we will continue to.  He is a very good Daddy for me.  I didn't mean to paint an ugly picture on his behalf..   

[littlegirl ella]

I'm happy that this is all that has happened so far, because you can still work things out, but you should still be a little careful and try to talk to your daddy about what you can do to maybe relief his stress if that's his problem, or to help him feel more comfortable when he's not with you and can't reach you, like send a message to him before you go to lunch etc.

Things can go really bad if you don't start to work on problems (Yes even one-time things) fast enough, because it can always get worse and happen again. I had a daddy that ended up leaving me a couple months ago, and I still don't really know what happened. The last months we were together he went from a caring and loving daddy to an angry and verbally abusive man. Everything always ended up being my fault, and the tiniest mistake or misunderstanding turned into something really big and bad. He started telling me how useless I was and that I was just a disappointment because I did nothing right, and even worse things than that. He ended up leaving me after telling me how I ruined his whole life and that I was a disgusting person, I still have not gotten over this. I think that he got too stressed out but I don't know for sure, all I know is that I should've tried to talk to him when he started answering with "Whatever" whenever I told him about my feelings.

I don't wish for this to happen to anyone else so I really hope that you'll talk to him, and I mean seriously talk to him, don't just ask if he's okay, because it's easy to just say "yeah I'm fine".

 

But yeah, I really hope things will work out for the two of you <3 c:

 

​Thank you for sharing this part of your life.  We communicate a LOT. I believe Daddy gets overwhelmed too, just like his little girl does. Two of his rules are 1.) always have your phone with you, and 2.) Tell Daddy where you are going/ when you leave..  I neglect to do that as often as I should- so that probably works on him, too.  What I mean is Daddy probably doesn't want to overwhelm his little girl by constantly nit picking at things to bits, but I need to be reminded I need to remember to KEEP the phone with me and let Daddy know my where-a-bouts. He is a great Daddy for me- and I'd like to share with you and everyone else for that matter that Daddy has joined this forum and will be asking questions and joining conversations that pertain to Daddy things... I am excited! 

[littlegirl ella]

I'm glad to hear my thoughts were misguided as it were. My Daddy lives on the other side of the world, so trust me when I say I know how distance can do your head in.

 

It then just sounds like some trial and error phase is going to happen (which it is, it seems). I hope things level out soon. I know its difficult to get adjusted, especially with a new dynamic. From your end all that can really be done is communicate with your Daddy that these things have happened, and though it displeases him, he needs to understand that it will happen from time to time. It has nothing to do with you not listening/loving/be devoted, but rather... life. Life is a bitch sometimes. Ultimately he is going to realize this and the clouds will part and he will understand. I know its SUPER frustrating waiting for that "aha" moment, but it'll happen for the both of you.

 

Also know that you have a whole support system here, on the forum. And so does your Daddy! As you said, you both have your own ends going through this to deal with - maybe if he hopped on here, he could read some of the CG threads or talk to some seasoned CG's and it might help him see things clearer. The best thing for any relationship (in my opinion) is research and understanding. D/s is difficult, DDlg more so, and to live it 24/7 there are going to need to be exceptions and understandings. The amazing thing about these lifestyles, as well as their curse, is that those exceptions are different for everyone. And it sounds like you and your Daddy are finding out where your individual footing is, as well as where you both stand together. That is a lot to process at once. So I urge you both to do what you are doing - reach out. Even the simplest comment could have the biggest revelation. A friend of mine said "snowflakes are beautiful" (in regards to snow) and it triggered the BIGGEST stream of consciousness that lead to a revelation of my own moral character. Its really quite interesting how we can process information that is given from different perspectives.

 

As always, I hope everything works out - I apologize because I know I definitely repeated some advice you probably already got (still haven't read those other comments - hehe), but I hope you and your Daddy flourish.

 

​No apology necessary!  I appreciate your wisdom..  Thank you!  

[littlegirl ella]

​I just wanted to share with you all that Daddy is a very good and loving Daddy. He had a really rough day yesterday and obviously so did I.  We are in a loving D/s/DD/lg 24/7 relationship.   Daddy is new to the Daddy world but he has many years experience as a Dominant. I have been in this lifestyle only a year altogether so there is so much to learn. I believe Daddy and I will conquer all the little obstacles we come across during our journey together in this lifestyle, and we both will grow in knowledge and be able to help others in time as well. I appreciate all of your comments, suggestions and thoughts to my post. I would also like to share with you that Daddy has made a profile here as well and will be talking with other Daddy's and joining conversations about littles and caregivers. It's a win! Win!    

[Guest Fros†beard]

I'm sure it's been pointed out before, but there is life outside little space.
And sometimes it means you'll be juggling several things and rushing from A to B at the speed of light. You'll be stressed. You'll have to take responsibility and do things on your own. Adulting isn't necessarily fun, but it is a necessary evil. It is what allows us to slip into daddy mode / little space and makes it so rewarding & comfortable in the end. And I'm saying this as someone who's been deemed unfit for work.

You can't always be available. And even if you're not really that busy, things happen. Things like your phone going haywire. There are so very many perfectly good reasons as to why you might not be able to pick up the phone when someone decides to call. And y'know, sometimes you just need a moment to sit down and breathe. I don't care for phone calls at all and I most certainly wouldn't like to be bombarded after a hectic day.

As for him snapping at you, that's the kinda reaction he just has to learn to avoid. It's not your fault he was having a rough day. As an autistic person, it's sometimes extremely hard not to react in a way that's not complete overkill, but I try really hard.

I wish you two all the best on your journey. Support each other & learn from each other.


 

Edited August 29, 2017 by Fros†beard

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

"Rule #2: Your phone is to remain on and charged at all times."

 

That was one of my rules from a previous relationship.  At the time it sounded reasonable, we had limited times we could talk and I always wanted to hear from him anyways. 

 

Over time, I resented having to be available 24/7.  Looking back, he had issues with boundaries and was constantly pushing for more from me.  I didn't recognize that, and kept giving until I burned out.

 

If I were faced with a similar situation, I would be much firmer about setting my own boundaries.  In other words, I would say "No" a hell of a lot more often.