Daddy gets mad at me

[littlegirl ella]

​I need some help because I don't know where to turn.  A little about us:  My Daddy and I don't live together but we see each other often never the less.  He has a demanding job and travels.  I work, too of course.  When we are together things are great.  When we are apart things seem to fall apart.  I don't have a great cell phone and it does some really crazy things at times which gets me in trouble quite often.  For example, Daddy will text me asking me why I didn't answer my phone when he called and I will say it didn't ring.  This is the truth.  Daddy told me this earlier, and I quote: "That's about the fifth damn time I tried calling you today and it went to voicemail."  The first two times Daddy called I had stopped at garage sales but Daddy and I were able to text/call after I got back to my car.  The next time Daddy called I was getting lunch and left my phone inside my vehicle but once again we connected through text/ or phone call when I returned to my car. Later he must have called when I was in the bathroom so I didn't hear it or even know he called until I received his text about having called five times today and each going to voicemail.  I know he is stressed when we are not together but I am trying.  I am trying to catch every call from Daddy but the phone I have seems to have a mind of its own at times.  Daddy gets so upset with me when this happens and I don't know what to do.  

 

I think I need a hug...     

 

Thank you for your time and your thoughts on this subject..   

[binky-bun]

I think a good way to prevent this would be to just talk with him and set a designated time you can call, or otherwise update him on your schedule. I can see it being annoying trying to get in contact with someone throughout the day, but if you are upfront with him and let him know you're going to be out and about that day, then he should be understanding of that.

 

Something simple like, "I will be running various errands today and might not be able to come to my phone right away. What time are you free? I can call you when I get home!" should work. If he still gets angry, then he's being a little unreasonable.

 

Also, *hugs*

[littlegirl ella]

I think a good way to prevent this would be to just talk with him and set a designated time you can call, or otherwise update him on your schedule. I can see it being annoying trying to get in contact with someone throughout the day, but if you are upfront with him and let him know you're going to be out and about that day, then he should be understanding of that.

 

Something simple like, "I will be running various errands today and might not be able to come to my phone right away. What time are you free? I can call you when I get home!" should work. If he still gets angry, then he's being a little unreasonable.

 

Also, *hugs*

 

​Hi binky-bun... Thank you for your reply.  Daddy has instructed me to always keep my phone with me at all times. NO excuses. I have to admit I have accidentally left it at home while I was running errands before and I can understand Daddy being upset about that.  The obvious reason for that would be that Daddy wants to be able to get in touch with his little girl any time he wants to or needs to. Daddy also wants to know I am safe, too of course.  It's having Daddy upset with me when I didn't know he had called that hurts me.  I could never "tell" Daddy that I will call him at specific times of the day.  That is a no-no for his little girl.  When Daddy calls his little girl, his little girl better answer.  There are a few exceptions of course...  Daddy is pretty firm when it comes to phone calls.  Thanks again for your thoughts. 

[Guest D͛r͛a͛g͛o͛n͛sP♡ptคгt®]

You can't help your phone not working right. And if he gets mad at you for something like your phone acting up, then you guys should sit down and have a long talk. Otherwise, I agree with bun about setting a designated time to call and about keeping him updated on your schedule. Warn him about busy days and such. But if he still gets mad even after being warned.. Then well.. it's time for a really really super serious talk. Cuz you shouldn't have to worry about being right there every single second of the day. You're allowed to have a life too! And sometimes that means unexpected things come up and you can't go to the phone right away. I had a very controlling daddy/bf once who would get so mad if I didn't text him or call him back right away. And he'd get very mad at me even if I had warned him I'd be busy. there were also some other bad stuff with him trying to micromanage my life every second, like trying to control who I was around while at *family* events. It's a bad place to be in and it feels bad too. Also, if you guys still connect after, like when you got back into the car then things should be okay! Ya'll still connected and got to talk, so there should be no worries. And he should understand that things come up, it's a part of having a life.

 

lots of hugs and encouragement!<3

 

Putting and edit here, I started this post before seeing your reply to bun. I understand that some relationships are more strict and such. But when you're being big and being an adult, he should understand that you do have a life and errands and such and that things happen. But that you'll reply to him as fast as you can.

Edited August 26, 2017 by ®ʇɹɐʇdodsʎppɐp

[BonBeau]

Stuff like this can really stress everyone out, for sure. And I agree with what folks have said about communication and organizing times to talk.

 

I don't want to presume to know anything about your relationship or its dynamic. And maybe you have a strict daddy in purpose. That said, it sounds like your feelings are getting hurt a lot and the expectations being placed on you aren't things you can do. No judgement at all towards you or your daddy. It sounds like he may be demanding things from you that hurt or scare you, not care for you. Maybe that could be an additional conversation topic with him?

 

Whatever the situation, and even with a strict daddy, our relationships are not meant to hurt. Of course, disagreements and mistakes will happen but this doesn't sound like it's the situation your in. Even when things are designed to physically hurt (re: kink) we all have a need and deserve to be physically safe.

 

I hope you and your daddy will be able to make ground on it. And also that you have some friends to give you regular support. Are there other folks that know the two of you that could help give more perspective?

[Guest pinklemonade]

I know that it might be hard but try not to get too upset about it. Work can be stressful for daddy's and they need their littles to make them feel better sometimes so when he can't get in touch with you it can be an issue leading him to get frustrated. I know it might be had if he takes it out on you but he won't be doing it to make you feel bad , he will just be venting imagine never being able o get into contact with your daddy when you enjoy been having a good day. Sometimes when they are mad daddy's can be pretty scary but they don't want to upset you. Don't worry , make you talk to him about it ! Xxxx

[littlegirl ella]

You can't help your phone not working right. And if he gets mad at you for something like your phone acting up, then you guys should sit down and have a long talk. Otherwise, I agree with bun about setting a designated time to call and about keeping him updated on your schedule. Warn him about busy days and such. But if he still gets mad even after being warned.. Then well.. it's time for a really really super serious talk. Cuz you shouldn't have to worry about being right there every single second of the day. You're allowed to have a life too! And sometimes that means unexpected things come up and you can't go to the phone right away. I had a very controlling daddy/bf once who would get so mad if I didn't text him or call him back right away. And he'd get very mad at me even if I had warned him I'd be busy. there were also some other bad stuff with him trying to micromanage my life every second, like trying to control who I was around while at *family* events. It's a bad place to be in and it feels bad too. Also, if you guys still connect after, like when you got back into the car then things should be okay! Ya'll still connected and got to talk, so there should be no worries. And he should understand that things come up, it's a part of having a life.

 

lots of hugs and encouragement!<3

 

Putting and edit here, I started this post before seeing your reply to bun. I understand that some relationships are more strict and such. But when you're being big and being an adult, he should understand that you do have a life and errands and such and that things happen. But that you'll reply to him as fast as you can.

 

​Thank you for your kind words.  Right now he is very upset with me because we have been squabbling  most of the day today over the phone.  I told Daddy he seems agitated today and his reply was: "Bullshit".. He is still holding onto the five missed phone calls today, a few of which don't even show up on my phone. But I understand that doesn't mean he didn't call.  I understand Daddy's have a lot on their plate with their careers, family, submissives, little girls, baby girls, and more..... but should they ever curse?  Should they demand you to keep the phone with you all the time so when they call you answer?  I admit I have  my own quirks don't get me wrong- I can be a hand full at times but should Daddy's take things out on their little girls?  FYI, in his defense I suffer from Bipolar disorder so I know I am a hand full when my medicine is out of whak! 

[littlegirl ella]

​I am sorry for carrying on....  But thank you for listening....... 

[Guest D͛r͛a͛g͛o͛n͛sP♡ptคгt®]

​Thank you for your kind words.  Right now he is very upset with me because we have been squabbling  most of the day today over the phone.  I told Daddy he seems agitated today and his reply was: "Bullshit".. He is still holding onto the five missed phone calls today, a few of which don't even show up on my phone. But I understand that doesn't mean he didn't call.  I understand Daddy's have a lot on their plate with their careers, family, submissives, little girls, baby girls, and more..... but should they ever curse?  Should they demand you to keep the phone with you all the time so when they call you answer?  I admit I have  my own quirks don't get me wrong- I can be a hand full at times but should Daddy's take things out on their little girls?  FYI, in his defense I suffer from Bipolar disorder so I know I am a hand full when my medicine is out of whak! 

 

I don't think a daddy should swear at his little. Swearing in general is okay, but not to another person. It sounds like you need to calmly ask to talk and tell him he's making you feel bad. If he truly cares about you, he'll see that he's hurting you and stop it. It's a daddy's job to keep his little girl safe and secure from harm.. Not bring harm to them. It sounds like he's also controlling and abusive, unless if you've agreed to the rule of having your phone on hand. He might be stressed, but that doesn't mean he takes it out on you. He should understand that littles are people and adults too and have lives of their own outside of the relationship, like work and family and such. As long as you contact him back, I don't see the big deal. It's not fair or healthy to you that he makes you feel bad. A daddy shouldn't *demand* anything, a healthy relationship in and out of the kink consists of consent. If you agree to rules, that's fine. If he makes rules and demands you follow them when you don't want to or have an issue with them, that's bad. And even if you agreed to that and he called, but you're busy with something and can't answer.. You can't help it. So there should be some give. 

 

I agree it's smart to have your phone on you for emergencies and to keep him in the loop. But being expected to drop EVERYTHING to reply to him or answer is a bit ridiculous in my opinion. It's a good way to get you fired from your job or in trouble if your driving, etc. But my rant over. Best advice I can offer is sit down with him calmly. And ask to talk calmly about somethings. And tell him how you've been feeling. And maybe work out set times for calling? Or explain you'll reply the moment your free? Maybe work out some rules that BOTH of you agree to, without him having to demand you do something that sometimes you can't do.

Edited August 26, 2017 by ®ʇɹɐʇdodsʎppɐp

[Guest D͛r͛a͛g͛o͛n͛sP♡ptคгt®]

FYI, in his defense I suffer from Bipolar disorder so I know I am a hand full when my medicine is out of whak! 

 

That means he should be a little bit more understanding and not as uptight with you. I suffer from quite a bit of mental health issues. My Daddy tends to be very very lenient and works with me on them. He changes up rules and such to accommodate what makes me feel safe and comfortable. 

[Antoinette]

in his defense I suffer from Bipolar disorder so I know I am a hand full when my medicine is out of whak! 

 

I am also Bipolar, and I assume he was made aware of your mental illness before he got into the relationship with you. I don't know about you but I suffer from Bipolar II and one of my main symptoms that's hard to control despite medication is irritability - and I know for a fact if he was being so demanding over something so (seemingly, in my opinion) small and insignificant it was irritate the heck out of me. So he should be aware of the things he does and he should also be aware of the fact that you can sometimes act differently due to your mental illness, so in your defense Bipolar is something you cannot control anyway.

[littlegirl ella]

Stuff like this can really stress everyone out, for sure. And I agree with what folks have said about communication and organizing times to talk.

 

I don't want to presume to know anything about your relationship or its dynamic. And maybe you have a strict daddy in purpose. That said, it sounds like your feelings are getting hurt a lot and the expectations being placed on you aren't things you can do. No judgement at all towards you or your daddy. It sounds like he may be demanding things from you that hurt or scare you, not care for you. Maybe that could be an additional conversation topic with him?

 

Whatever the situation, and even with a strict daddy, our relationships are not meant to hurt. Of course, disagreements and mistakes will happen but this doesn't sound like it's the situation your in. Even when things are designed to physically hurt (re: kink) we all have a need and deserve to be physically safe.

 

I hope you and your daddy will be able to make ground on it. And also that you have some friends to give you regular support. Are there other folks that know the two of you that could help give more perspective?

 

​I appreciate your kinds words about both of Us.  He is a very good Daddy.  Daddy's job is very stressful but I am sure the last thing he wants to do is hurt his little girls feelings.  Sometimes even something simple can overwhelm me... obviously having the phone with me is one of them!

​And as far as other personal friends, I have only one other person.. perhaps I need to send her a hello. 

[littlegirl ella]

I don't think a daddy should swear at his little. Swearing in general is okay, but not to another person. It sounds like you need to calmly ask to talk and tell him he's making you feel bad. If he truly cares about you, he'll see that he's hurting you and stop it. It's a daddy's job to keep his little girl safe and secure from harm.. Not bring harm to them. It sounds like he's also controlling and abusive, unless if you've agreed to the rule of having your phone on hand. He might be stressed, but that doesn't mean he takes it out on you. He should understand that littles are people and adults too and have lives of their own outside of the relationship, like work and family and such. As long as you contact him back, I don't see the big deal. It's not fair or healthy to you that he makes you feel bad. A daddy shouldn't *demand* anything, a healthy relationship in and out of the kink consists of consent. If you agree to rules, that's fine. If he makes rules and demands you follow them when you don't want to or have an issue with them, that's bad. And even if you agreed to that and he called, but you're busy with something and can't answer.. You can't help it. So there should be some give. 

 

I agree it's smart to have your phone on you for emergencies and to keep him in the loop. But being expected to drop EVERYTHING to reply to him or answer is a bit ridiculous in my opinion. It's a good way to get you fired from your job or in trouble if your driving, etc. But my rant over. Best advice I can offer is sit down with him calmly. And ask to talk calmly about somethings. And tell him how you've been feeling. And maybe work out set times for calling? Or explain you'll reply the moment your free? Maybe work out some rules that BOTH of you agree to, without him having to demand you do something that sometimes you can't do.

 

​Thank you for responding.  Daddy isn't a physically abusive at all.  Actually, he has never been in love or even cared about anyone before me.  Daddy says when he met me I spun him around and he landed on his ass.... and at times he still seems dazed and confused because of the affection he feels towards his little girl/baby girl/submissive.  He does struggle with that from time to time.  He isn't used to "caring" about what a little girl/baby girl/submissive want's or enjoys.  These feelings are all new to Daddy.  I guess I am answering a few of my own questions right now.    Thanks again for your feedback! ​ PS: This is a 24/7 lifestyle for us even though we do not live with each other...  and I agreed to the rule about the phone, but obviously it overwhelms me at times.  He is usually more understanding when I am at work; it is on my days off that we have problems..

Edited August 26, 2017 by Quiet Iris

[Guest D͛r͛a͛g͛o͛n͛sP♡ptคгt®]

​Thank you for responding.  Daddy isn't a physically abusive at all.  Actually, he has never been in love or even cared about anyone before me.  Daddy says when he met me I spun him around and he landed on his ass.... and at times he still seems dazed and confused because of the affection he feels towards his little girl/baby girl/submissive.  He does struggle with that from time to time.  He isn't used to "caring" about what a little girl/baby girl/submissive want's or enjoys.  These feelings are all new to Daddy.  I guess I am answering a few of my own questions right now.    Thanks again for your feedback! 

 

I didn't mean to imply physically abusive. I meant it sounds he's being very controlling which is a sign of mental abuse. If he's making you overwhelmed, you should talk to him. I'm sure he's a great daddy, and if he's this new to stuff like you said, he should find other daddies to talk to who have more experience than him. And he should maybe stop for half a second and think "How is this affecting my baby girl?" And I think it'd be good to maybe remind him once in a while that you get overwhelmed? And reassure him that everything's okay, even if you don't reply right away you will when you have a free chance. It doesn't sound healthy how he's reacting and treating you for something trivial like a text. He shouldn't take work frustrations or stress out on you, that's not healthy and abusive as well. Don't just take his stress. Be there to listen to him, but don't take targeted aggravation for something small that's not wrong.

[littlegirl ella]

I am also Bipolar, and I assume he was made aware of your mental illness before he got into the relationship with you. I don't know about you but I suffer from Bipolar II and one of my main symptoms that's hard to control despite medication is irritability - and I know for a fact if he was being so demanding over something so (seemingly, in my opinion) small and insignificant it was irritate the heck out of me. So he should be aware of the things he does and he should also be aware of the fact that you can sometimes act differently due to your mental illness, so in your defense Bipolar is something you cannot control anyway.

 

​Thank you for being so open about such a personal challenge in your life, too.  Daddy and I are still learning.  Daddy is new to the Bipolar thing and I am still new the D/s, DD/lg lifestyle.  It can be tough for his little girl to focus..

[littlegirl ella]

I didn't mean to imply physically abusive. I meant it sounds he's being very controlling which is a sign of mental abuse. If he's making you overwhelmed, you should talk to him. I'm sure he's a great daddy, and if he's this new to stuff like you said, he should find other daddies to talk to who have more experience than him. And he should maybe stop for half a second and think "How is this affecting my baby girl?" And I think it'd be good to maybe remind him once in a while that you get overwhelmed? And reassure him that everything's okay, even if you don't reply right away you will when you have a free chance. It doesn't sound healthy how he's reacting and treating you for something trivial like a text. He shouldn't take work frustrations or stress out on you, that's not healthy and abusive as well. Don't just take his stress. Be there to listen to him, but don't take targeted aggravation for something small that's not wrong.

 

​I appreciate your honesty.  Daddy is new to the "Daddy" scene, yes... and he does go into other forums and uses Google to get more information about "Daddy's"....  I know Daddy is trying and I wouldn't be in this relationship if I felt he wasn't making an effort to become the best Daddy he could be to his little girl.  Just as Daddy wouldn't be in a relationship with me if I wasn't open to being trained to become the best little girl for him.  

[littlegirl ella]

I know that it might be hard but try not to get too upset about it. Work can be stressful for daddy's and they need their littles to make them feel better sometimes so when he can't get in touch with you it can be an issue leading him to get frustrated. I know it might be had if he takes it out on you but he won't be doing it to make you feel bad , he will just be venting imagine never being able o get into contact with your daddy when you enjoy been having a good day. Sometimes when they are mad daddy's can be pretty scary but they don't want to upset you. Don't worry , make you talk to him about it ! Xxxx

 

Very well spoken​, thank you!  I need to remember that Daddy needs his little just like his little needs him, too. Obviously I forget that from time to time..

[Little Illy]

I will admit I didnt read all the comments... however...

 

This seems almost obsessive and boarder-line mental abusive. I only have what little you've shown us above to go off of - but if a grown man cannot understand the fact you simply cannot be reached 24/7/365 then that is a big red flag in my book. And that is coming from someone who NEEDS communication throughout the day because of my own insecurities. 

 

Life happens, phones break or any number of things can go on. Any rational, reasonable and loving Daddy would recognize this. Now - I don't know everything about your relationship, maybe there are serious communication issues and this is him at his wits end, so what I am saying is all relative. However, if this is how he is every time you two are apart, I would recommend seriously looking into your relationship and seeing just how he actually treats you. Not when times are great, but in general. And seriously analyzing his control. I am in a D/s - DDlg almost M/s dynamic, and even then, THAT level of control is unacceptable because it is unrealistic to the real world. 

 

Just my two cents I suppose. I hope everything works out.

[littlegirl ella]

I think a good way to prevent this would be to just talk with him and set a designated time you can call, or otherwise update him on your schedule. I can see it being annoying trying to get in contact with someone throughout the day, but if you are upfront with him and let him know you're going to be out and about that day, then he should be understanding of that.

 

Something simple like, "I will be running various errands today and might not be able to come to my phone right away. What time are you free? I can call you when I get home!" should work. If he still gets angry, then he's being a little unreasonable.

 

Also, *hugs*

 

​This is about your paci... was that a photo editor you used? Snap chat? And how do you get those from Snap chat?

[littlegirl ella]

I will admit I didnt read all the comments... however...

 

This seems almost obsessive and boarder-line mental abusive. I only have what little you've shown us above to go off of - but if a grown man cannot understand the fact you simply cannot be reached 24/7/365 then that is a big red flag in my book. And that is coming from someone who NEEDS communication throughout the day because of my own insecurities. 

 

Life happens, phones break or any number of things can go on. Any rational, reasonable and loving Daddy would recognize this. Now - I don't know everything about your relationship, maybe there are serious communication issues and this is him at his wits end, so what I am saying is all relative. However, if this is how he is every time you two are apart, I would recommend seriously looking into your relationship and seeing just how he actually treats you. Not when times are great, but in general. And seriously analyzing his control. I am in a D/s - DDlg almost M/s dynamic, and even then, THAT level of control is unacceptable because it is unrealistic to the real world. 

 

Just my two cents I suppose. I hope everything works out. 

 

​​Thank you LittleBree for your thoughts.  It isn't all the time he is like this, but being apart from each other does a number on him though.  I also read where you hadn't read all the comments and would like to share with you what I mentioned about him a little earlier:  He is new to being a Daddy- but he is a well seasoned Dominant.  Before Daddy and I met he hadn't cared for anyone for most of his life- then we met.  He is not familiar with these new feelings of protecting, loving and being in love with someone.  Daddy says he fell for me quickly and the love bug spun him around and planted him on his ass... Daddy was dazed and confused.  Although we do not live with each other we do see each other very often, sometimes we have up to 4 days together, so that part isn't too bad.  We also live a D/s, DD/lg lifestyle 24/7.. I never knew about DD/lg until recently.  He has always wanted to be a Daddy and to have his own special little girl but never had one before.  PS: I also respect you  having said "I only have what little information you have shown us above to go off of."  This is true and I do believe in hearing both sides of a story.  I am just struggling with my own part of this just as Daddy is struggling with his part of it too.  Thanks again!  

[Little Illy]

I'm glad to hear my thoughts were misguided as it were. My Daddy lives on the other side of the world, so trust me when I say I know how distance can do your head in.

 

It then just sounds like some trial and error phase is going to happen (which it is, it seems). I hope things level out soon. I know its difficult to get adjusted, especially with a new dynamic. From your end all that can really be done is communicate with your Daddy that these things have happened, and though it displeases him, he needs to understand that it will happen from time to time. It has nothing to do with you not listening/loving/be devoted, but rather... life. Life is a bitch sometimes. Ultimately he is going to realize this and the clouds will part and he will understand. I know its SUPER frustrating waiting for that "aha" moment, but it'll happen for the both of you.

 

Also know that you have a whole support system here, on the forum. And so does your Daddy! As you said, you both have your own ends going through this to deal with - maybe if he hopped on here, he could read some of the CG threads or talk to some seasoned CG's and it might help him see things clearer. The best thing for any relationship (in my opinion) is research and understanding. D/s is difficult, DDlg more so, and to live it 24/7 there are going to need to be exceptions and understandings. The amazing thing about these lifestyles, as well as their curse, is that those exceptions are different for everyone. And it sounds like you and your Daddy are finding out where your individual footing is, as well as where you both stand together. That is a lot to process at once. So I urge you both to do what you are doing - reach out. Even the simplest comment could have the biggest revelation. A friend of mine said "snowflakes are beautiful" (in regards to snow) and it triggered the BIGGEST stream of consciousness that lead to a revelation of my own moral character. Its really quite interesting how we can process information that is given from different perspectives.

 

As always, I hope everything works out - I apologize because I know I definitely repeated some advice you probably already got (still haven't read those other comments - hehe), but I hope you and your Daddy flourish.

[BonBeau]

​ I can be a hand full at times but should Daddy's take things out on their little girls? FYI, in his defense I suffer from Bipolar disorder so I know I am a hand full when my medicine is out of whak!

No, it is not ok for a daddy to take his emotions and anger out into his little. It's never fair or reasonable for anyone to take their feelings out on someone else and that is especially when there is a difference in power. Everyone has the responsibility to do well by others as much to their ability and if a person can only do that in a small way or in special circumstances then they are someone best to avoid until they figure their behavior out. No one deserves to be mistreated no matter what the other person's issues are.

 

Im bipolar too. I'm glad to see other bipolar folks responding. Being bipolar doesn't make to less worthy of being supported or cared for. Bipolar people are told we are monsters or "hard to handle" and those statements are generally used as justifications for mistreating us. Honestly, you could be running nuts down the street and you STILL deserve to be treated kindly and with respect. If he struggles to support you in your needs related to mental and emotional health then he needs to work on himself, or admit he isn't the daddy you need and deserve. It's not your fault if he can't do it or isn't doing it.

 

Whatever your circumstances, it is not ok for your daddy to hurt you and hurt feelings count- you're still being hurt.

[PrincessKittenCupcake]

If he doesn't naturally exhibit "Daddy" characteristics, the transition IS going to be difficult. Open communication is EVERYTHING. My Daddy is new, so when he does something that I don't like, I wait until a good time to talk, and I use a three-step explanation. I tell him what he did, how it made me feel, and what I would like him to do differently in the future. I keep it short and to the point, and then we move on.  I also make sure to let him know that he is doing a great job and that I appreciate how hard he is trying to learn. (My Daddy hates feeling like he's let me down, and hopefully, yours does, too.) 

 

Side note, I think one of the big differences between a Daddy and a Dom is that Daddies are problem-solvers. I am a switch, and as a Domme, I'm not interested in hearing any of your reasons for breaking the rules. I only care that you broke them. I'm not interested in helping you solve the problem. A Daddy usually handles those situations a bit differently. If there is an obstacle that prevents you from following the rules, he should want to help you get around that. If my phone is broken, which happens to me a lot, my Daddy helps me find a way to get it fixed, or set up an alternative means of communication. 

 

As far as his harsh language goes, that would be a no-go for me. I don't want to say Daddies should or shouldn't speak that way to their Little, because every relationship is different. For me personally, it would make me feel scared and anxious. If that's how it makes you feel, you should tell him so. He's an experienced Dom, so he should understand the difference between fear and submission. 

[littlegirl ella]

I'm glad to hear my thoughts were misguided as it were. My Daddy lives on the other side of the world, so trust me when I say I know how distance can do your head in.

 

It then just sounds like some trial and error phase is going to happen (which it is, it seems). I hope things level out soon. I know its difficult to get adjusted, especially with a new dynamic. From your end all that can really be done is communicate with your Daddy that these things have happened, and though it displeases him, he needs to understand that it will happen from time to time. It has nothing to do with you not listening/loving/be devoted, but rather... life. Life is a bitch sometimes. Ultimately he is going to realize this and the clouds will part and he will understand. I know its SUPER frustrating waiting for that "aha" moment, but it'll happen for the both of you.

 

Also know that you have a whole support system here, on the forum. And so does your Daddy! As you said, you both have your own ends going through this to deal with - maybe if he hopped on here, he could read some of the CG threads or talk to some seasoned CG's and it might help him see things clearer. The best thing for any relationship (in my opinion) is research and understanding. D/s is difficult, DDlg more so, and to live it 24/7 there are going to need to be exceptions and understandings. The amazing thing about these lifestyles, as well as their curse, is that those exceptions are different for everyone. And it sounds like you and your Daddy are finding out where your individual footing is, as well as where you both stand together. That is a lot to process at once. So I urge you both to do what you are doing - reach out. Even the simplest comment could have the biggest revelation. A friend of mine said "snowflakes are beautiful" (in regards to snow) and it triggered the BIGGEST stream of consciousness that lead to a revelation of my own moral character. Its really quite interesting how we can process information that is given from different perspectives.

 

As always, I hope everything works out - I apologize because I know I definitely repeated some advice you probably already got (still haven't read those other comments - hehe), but I hope you and your Daddy flourish.

 

​Thank you so much for your insight.  Daddy and I had a rough day yesterday. We are communicating today/right now which really helps. I am so happy to have found this group!  

[littlegirl ella]

If he doesn't naturally exhibit "Daddy" characteristics, the transition IS going to be difficult. Open communication is EVERYTHING. My Daddy is new, so when he does something that I don't like, I wait until a good time to talk, and I use a three-step explanation. I tell him what he did, how it made me feel, and what I would like him to do differently in the future. I keep it short and to the point, and then we move on.  I also make sure to let him know that he is doing a great job and that I appreciate how hard he is trying to learn. (My Daddy hates feeling like he's let me down, and hopefully, yours does, too.) 

 

Side note, I think one of the big differences between a Daddy and a Dom is that Daddies are problem-solvers. I am a switch, and as a Domme, I'm not interested in hearing any of your reasons for breaking the rules. I only care that you broke them. I'm not interested in helping you solve the problem. A Daddy usually handles those situations a bit differently. If there is an obstacle that prevents you from following the rules, he should want to help you get around that. If my phone is broken, which happens to me a lot, my Daddy helps me find a way to get it fixed, or set up an alternative means of communication. 

 

As far as his harsh language goes, that would be a no-go for me. I don't want to say Daddies should or shouldn't speak that way to their Little, because every relationship is different. For me personally, it would make me feel scared and anxious. If that's how it makes you feel, you should tell him so. He's an experienced Dom, so he should understand the difference between fear and submission. 

 

​Thank you for your thoughts. I must clarify that Daddy doesn't use harsh language to me. We talked about that today and he meant those words as a statement. I still don't care to hear those words but I know they are not directed at me. Daddy and I are secure with our relationship however we are still in the learning phase of he being a Daddy, and my being a little...