Age Insecurity within DDlg

[Persephone_Persephone]

Yes but for you, you should get kitty anti slip paws. Imagine that coming down the corridor at high shuffle speed.

 

I actually think I may need some tenor pads I chuckled too hard imagining you chasing your daddy in those socks.

[Guest SUeB]

Yes but for you, you should get kitty anti slip paws. Imagine that coming down the corridor at high shuffle speed.

I actually think I may need some tenor pads I chuckled too hard imagining you chasing your daddy in those socks.

Well He's even older than i am. He doesn't need much chasing, y'know, seeing as He is obviously bed ridden cos He's pretty much already dead.

[Daddyslilbunnybutt]

^^^ too funny   

[Persephone_Persephone]

Well He's even older than i am. He doesn't need much chasing, y'know, seeing as He is obviously bed ridden cos He's pretty much already dead.

Ha! With your personal training and his insane hiking I think most of us would struggle to keep up with you two dinosaurs!

[Guest SUeB]

Ha! With your personal training and his insane hiking I think most of us would struggle to keep up with you two dinosaurs!

You may very well have a very valid point. We both put people half (or even a third) our ages to shame.

[MrTeddyAdventure]

Hello everybody. I decided I'd make this topic as it's something that's often spoken about but never quite explained fully and in a meaningful way, I hope to do that with this topic - or at least spark the interest of others that may be able to do so.

 

First and foremost I should start off by saying that I am nineteen, almost twenty years of age. This does in fact mean that I am a 'younger' little - this means that while I can't relate to older littles I feel it's important that I at least give my viewpoint on a few of these issues. (Also just as another note, not that it should need to be said, but none - absolutely none of this topic will discuss anybody, CG or L, that is underage - this topic is not discussing underage littles/daddies/mommies, so please don't mention them, despite however innocent it may be). 

 

Older Littles / Daddies / Mommies

 

A common complaint from the older littles in the community (I would say from about 35+) is that they feel unwanted. Whether this emotion surfaces due to rejection, envy or whatever else it is there and it is extremely common for older little to feel this way. I want to start off by saying that despite your age (as long as you're 18+) you are not any less little - you are not any less valuable. There is always somebody out there for everybody. With age comes many struggles and while I haven't experienced these and I find it impossible to relate to these struggles I will say I am beyond amazed at how strong a large portion of our community is for dealing with these struggles that they face on a daily basis. 

 

I will also, however, note that many older littles take personal offense to the fact that Daddies or Mommies tend to prefer younger littles. This often leads to conflict within the community, and older littles can become (sorry that I have to say this) jealous of younger littles. It can create ugly scenarios and a lot of unnecessary hostility to the community and I have seen it happen. Not to mention Caregivers are often made out to be bad people for simply having a preference. This isn't fair.

 

When it comes to older daddies I don't find that they have as much of a hard time as older littles (for obvious reasons) but I will acknowledge that, like older littles, the feeling of being unwanted can also be overwhelming for them. Perhaps because when you age you feel more of a desire to find somebody and settle down it is even more of a panicked-overwhelming feeling that can be intensified as loneliness sets in. This is normal. Many people feel this way and it's why I think a lot more of the older community should get together and mingle, away from the younger side of the community - not in a disrespectful way to us younger people, just as a way to speak to others that can relate to your personal struggles and issues. 

 

Younger Littles / Daddies / Mommies

 

I am in this category of people, I am a younger little and let me tell you something - I have experienced discrimination due to it. I have been told that it is just a phase, which is obviously more common to call younger people out for going through phases. I have been told that I do not have the life experience and knowledge needed in order to fulfill my partners wants and desires and I have been told that I'm not a little, I'm simply still a child - due to my age. While none of this really phases me due to my thick skin and nonchalant nature I can see how it would effect other littles, specifically littles that don't have thick skin or are sensitive people. 

 

On the other hand, I have seen younger littles disrespect and shame older littles for simply being older. As though they're better simply because more people want them - which, to be honest, isn't necessarily something to be proud of. I think it's fair to say that there can be and is hostility on both ends of this whole thing. I have also seen younger littles use this community as a way to simply avoid their adult life altogether, while this is more popular with younger littles I can probably imagine it happens with older littles but it is definitely not as common. Younger littles can be enticed by the idea of having a daddy look after their every need and hold their hand through life to an almost unhealthy degree - and to a point I do agree this idealistic view may be caused by lack of life experience. 

 

When it comes to younger daddies (specifically Daddies, I haven't seen it so much with mommies) I find that a lot of older Daddies seem to disprove of them quickly and use that oh-so-beloved term of 'fake daddy' simply because they aren't old and somehow lack the experience that a Daddy seemingly needs. This causes younger Daddies to lose confidence, it makes them feel as though they can't be a part of this community purely because they can't fulfill the whole 'giant age gap' stereotype that a lot of people, even in our community, seem to believe is necessary in this dynamic; WHEN IT'S NOT.

 

Conclusion

 

I believe wholeheartedly that this community as a whole contributes to this problem we have. We all do things that can hurt others, that is detrimental to the well-being of others mental health without even realising it. Young or old. It's an issue that I've seen for a while now and one that I fear will create a division in our community. You are not a bad person for wanting a young little, or and old little - just like you're not a bad person for wanting a young caregiver or an old caregiver. We're all a part of this wonderful community and it's about time we just accept each other for how we are, despite our preferences, despite our ages (as long as we're 18+). That's the only way we avoid division and it's the only way we tackle the older littles/cgs feeling unwanted and the only way we tackle the younger ones feeling attacked. But, hey, what do I know? I'm just a dumb kid at the end of the day.

I'm 26 and my Daddy is 50.  I love him very much, and we have been married for 4 years now.  We both can get under each other's skin, but we know how to talk to each other and we enjoy one another.  When we go out, I don't care if we are in public, I always show any kind of affection.  I love complimenting my Daddy because he's hot!  He's caring, loving, smart, and witty.  I never really look at age.....as long as your over 18 I say do what makes you happy, BUT don't hate on others who are doing the same.  Live life.....you only get ONE to live.  Simple as that.  I'm very happy about this post, and I think it was said beautifully.  No if you'll excuse me, I need to glomp my Daddy and give him tons of kisses. LOL

[Guest Andyy95]

Lol reading this is so funny, but in a sad way. Wanted to stop reading several times, but kept going. Kinda like a car crash, you wanna look away, but you just can't. What I find the funniest is the fact that all this is coming from a 19 year old, someone who is literally a teenager, yet acts as if she's the joda of DDLG. You do make some good points, but it as a whole is just so misguided.

 

Your post is suppossed to bring the community together, create less divission, but you did the opposite in fact. Not only have you not ''enlightened'' those that act like that, you indirectly offended those that have nothing to do with this and have never acted in the manner you discribed. The way I see it this is just an attention post, and a way for you to show how much you understand the dynamic when you are only 19 years old. The only part I can whole heartedly agree on with you is the end: " But,

hey, what do I know? I'm just a dumb kid at the end of the day."

This is just so misguided imo, and it will lead to nothing good... But hey, you got people who have been through that which you described to cry about it here and you got 15 likes on the topic, all in all a fruitful endeavor.

[Guest SUeB]

Lol reading this is so funny, but in a sad way. Wanted to stop reading several times, but kept going. Kinda like a car crash, you wanna look away, but you just can't. What I find the funniest is the fact that all this is coming from a 19 year old, someone who is literally a teenager, yet acts as if she's the joda of DDLG. You do make some good points, but it as a whole is just so misguided.

 

Your post is suppossed to bring the community together, create less divission, but you did the opposite in fact. Not only have you not ''enlightened'' those that act like that, you indirectly offended those that have nothing to do with this and have never acted in the manner you discribed. The way I see it this is just an attention post, and a way for you to show how much you understand the dynamic when you are only 19 years old. The only part I can whole heartedly agree on with you is the end: " But,

hey, what do I know? I'm just a dumb kid at the end of the day."

This is just so misguided imo, and it will lead to nothing good... But hey, you got people who have been through that which you described to cry about it here and you got 15 likes on the topic, all in all a fruitful endeavor.

And today's prize for saying it like it goes to......

[Panda God]

SUeB, Poppins, Andyy95.... I don't understand why you guys have to be so harsh. Sure, the post was a little misguided, but I truly believe that the poster had the best of intentions. I don't think that she meant to offend anyone, or to create division. Don't get me wrong, I agree with what you guys said, but is it really necessary to be so abrasive and bitter?

 

Edit: There are ways to correct people without being rude. For example....

 

YES: "Hey, *insert name here*? I think you put too much garlic in the pasta sauce.. It's a little strong. Also, next time, could you please use a little less lemon?"

 

NO: *spits food out* "Oh, dear god!! How much fucking garlic did you put in there?? Are you trying to deter all the vampires in the Northern Hemisphere? And why the hell did you use so much lemon?! God, this is the worst, most disgusting sauce I have ever tasted."

Edited November 27, 2017 by Panda God

[Guest Andyy95]

SUeB, Poppins, Andyy95.... I don't understand why you guys have to be so harsh. Sure, the post was a little misguided, but I truly believe that the poster had the best of intentions. I don't think that she meant to offend anyone, or to create division. Don't get me wrong, I agree with what you guys said, but is it really necessary to be so abrasive and bitter?

 

Edit: There are ways to correct people without being rude. For example....

 

YES: "Hey, *insert name here*? I think you put too much garlic in the pasta sauce.. It's a little strong. Also, next time, could you please use a little less lemon?"

 

NO: *spits food out* "Oh, dear god!! How much fucking garlic did you put in there?? Are you trying to deter all the vampires in the Northern Hemisphere? And why the hell did you use so much lemon?! God, this is the worst, most disgusting sauce I have ever tasted."

 

And I agree with with what you said, but it's not about that , what irks me is that it was just her way to clearly show that she knows what the dynamic is really about despite her young age. See how she emphasizes that she's a 19 yo young little at the start , and says at the end "But gee, what do i know, i'm just a kid afterall''. It was clearly just her way of wanting to prove something, be it conciously or subconciously. Did she mean well or not? Idc. What's important is that she didn't think it through before posting it. Like ask herself ''Will this help or just make things worse?'' ... She just wanted to be heard and didn't really consider how it'd affect others.

 

I know that i should work on how I express myself and what not, but i have yet to find a filter that fits in this mouth.

[Persephone_Persephone]

Panda God, maybe I am harsh. Maybe I say it how it is, but I have never told anyone on this forum to leave the community based on age. Because that is ageist.

 

Would you like to log on and read me telling you should 'mingle elsewhere' because of your age.

There has been several posts started on here about peoples harsh attitudes and it being bullying. If you actually look back to the root of these issues you will see its normally someone not been prepared for an actual answer that says they dont agree with them.

Have alook at the 'yay for independant littles' writting and my other replies to people. Have I sworn at anyone like you suggested, have I been rude. No.

After my recent writting I had an inbox of members the next day saying 'thank god someone finally said it as it is'.

 

I have never had a warning point. And no admins have an issue with me so far. If the people are so worried about my attitude report me dont just moan about it.

Plus that post was quite sometime ago. Why bring it all up again.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I have been on here for a Looooooong time so I got to know Antoinette and she is actually a super nice girl who really just tried to write about less than desirable topics. Young and enthusiastic is an understatement for her. This post is poorly worded and really doesn't seem to match the kinda attitude I know her to have - She's actually just like most of you in the sense that she pulls absolutely no punches and says it like she sees it.. Abrasive or not. This whole thing does come across as exceptionally exclusionary and definitely conveys the wrong message but Sometimes despite our best efforts... stuff doesn't come out the same way we hear it in our heads.

 

Poppins - Say what you want, How you want to say it.. That's your right as long as you're not being abusive and i have yet to see you say anything abusive. 

 

This post should have been left to die.. It was made back in August.. that's pretty far back in the boards considering we're now in the end of November. No more Zombie posts! 

Edited November 27, 2017 by Lil' Miss Dolly

[Panda God]

Panda God, maybe I am harsh. Maybe I say it how it is, but I have never told anyone on this forum to leave the community based on age. Because that is ageist.

 

Would you like to log on and read me telling you should 'mingle elsewhere' because of your age.

There has been several posts started on here about peoples harsh attitudes and it being bullying. If you actually look back to the root of these issues you will see its normally someone not been prepared for an actual answer that says they dont agree with them.

Have alook at the 'yay for independant littles' writting and my other replies to people. Have I sworn at anyone like you suggested, have I been rude. No.

After my recent writting I had an inbox of members the next day saying 'thank god someone finally said it as it is'.

 

I have never had a warning point. And no admins have an issue with me so far. If the people are so worried about my attitude report me dont just moan about it.

Plus that post was quite sometime ago. Why bring it all up again.

I bring it up because you have been consistently snarky in your responses all across the forum. I wasn't accusing you of swearing. That was just an example. I do believe you were being rude, though. 

 

The reason I haven't reported you is that I don't think your behavior is serious enough to warrant that. I just wanted to point it out in the hopes that you might be more kind in the future.

Edited November 27, 2017 by Panda God

[Guest SUeB]

God knows what you'd say about me then, lol. i am 46 years old and i refuse to pussy foot around anyone that is an adult. If you say something stupid or insulting, or as with other threads, suggesting anything dangerous, i will tell you. And if people can't handle hearing things said in any way other than "please let me know if i am not being simpering or cute enough!!" way on a forum, they're not going to handle the real world very well. You think this is harsh and rude? That actually worries me a lot.

[Guest PianoPlayer]

Not really sure what the point of the original post was, or why it was so long. 

It could be summed up as: whether you're a little or caregiver who's young or old, you have a place here. Not everyone will think you're good enough, but don't let that stop you from being who you want to be and finding friendships or a possible match. 

 

[Persephone_Persephone]

Panda God, have you actually looked at my previous posts. Yes I am sarcastic, I am never abusive. You made a silly example of how I speak which included things like the F word that I have never said on here.

 

As the person above said this post was in August. It was incredibley offensive and yes people took it to heart and reacted. It was a bad post from the start. It should have been deleted by admins as I requested it to be then.

 

Not have it dragged up months later to call individuals out.

And on that point if you have an issue with someone talk to them. I would have had no issue having a proper conversation like an adult with you. You dont call people out, lump them in a group and suggest they are borderline abusive. Then when you are asked why you didnt report them say 'I didnt think it was that serious'. There was agood chance I wouldn't have seen your comments about me.

This conversation needs to end because what I'm picking up on some people can write something not think how ignorant it is, get a negative reaction and then call people who dont agree abusive. And that is not abuse. Check out the online bullying posts to as it is avery similar topic.

 

If you want to discuss me further, you may pm me. Not mention my name where I may never see it and probably hope I dont reply.

 

As for this topic some admins really need to delete it or lock it.

I'm done defending myself.

[Guest SUeB]

Not really sure what the point of the original post was, or why it was so long. 

It could be summed up as: whether you're a little or caregiver who's young or old, you have a place here. Not everyone will think you're good enough, but don't let that stop you from being who you want to be and finding friendships or a possible match.

 

What most people got from it was "we should not set people apart because of age, but we should not allow old and young to have any interaction -keep them far away from each other!! ". Complete nonsense, to be honest. And that's one reason it got so much negativity.

[MrJohnny]

Wow.

 

I began reading this thread because the title intrigued me, and because I admittedly have an emotional stake in the subject. But the entire thread quickly spun way out of control. Car wreck? Yeah, like a 10 car pile-up.

 

So after reading through the entire thread, I come to this personal conclusion: people are who they are, they will do and say what they think best, and for reasons entirely their own which I may never understand and may completely disagree with if I did. I need to let opinions be mere opinions. I choose to accept that none of us are perfect or completely mature, that we all have our particular peeves, and that I cannot expect to be part of ANY Community without both having things rubbed off onto me and rubbing things off on others myself. That is just life in a human world.

 

The bottom line for me is that this Community is someplace I choose to frequent for the benefit I receive and that the imperfections are to be expected. For the most part, I think that there are no really bad people permitted to remain in this community, but even good people act badly sometimes. I am a discerning adult, so I can live with that. It's all good.