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Dad jokes... The punnier the better


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Guest Babykitkat 23
Posted

what the difference between a fish, piano, and glue?

 

you can't tuna fish.

 

what about the glue?

 

i knew you would get stuck on that one.

Posted (edited)
You can never tell an Egyptian they're wrong because they love being in de-nile. Edited by DaddyMilk
  • 5 weeks later...
Posted
This is my new favorite thread XD
Posted

Saw this today:

 

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
If beer nuts are under a dollar, what are deer nuts? Under a buck!
Posted

I've haddock nuff of these jokes, I cod have done without them. Herring these puns has really hurt my sole. I know it sounds like I'm carp-ing on, I may sound shellfish; I've been gill-ty myself of coming out with puns andbad jokes just for the hallibut myself. But a whole thread? It's not the time or the plaice, is it. It's driving me cray-zy. It should dolphin-ately be stopped, time to fin-ish. Let minnow if anybody else f-eels the same! We have the oppor-tuna-ty to stop it now, to reel it in, don't trout yourself, don't feel orc-ward! Let's make it o-fish-all, Krill the puns now.

 

 

*Collapses in a heap due to fish pun overdose*

Posted

A frog realized his pond didn't have enough lily pads for his wife and tadpoles. He decided he needed to build an addition. He knew it would cost a lot, so he'd need a bank loan for it all. Being a frog, he didn't have many possessions, but he had a little small gold ornament someone had tossed into the the pond long ago.

 

He hopped to the bank with the ornament, confident he'd get the loan. After all, he was a good frog. He hopped inside and asked to speak with a loan officer. The nice receptionist said Ms Black was free, and she'd call her over. She was a nice lady and asked the frog to follow her to her office. She asked him how she could help.

 

"Well, Ms Black, I need to expand my pond."

 

"Oh, that sounds fantastic. But please call me Patty."

 

"Will do, Patty. It's not a big loan that I need. Unfortunately I've never taken out a loan, so I don't have credit."

 

She explained he'd need collateral to secure the loan. He presented the gold ornament. Patty wasn't sure if it would cover the loan. "I'll have to call my supervisor in to see if we can help, Mr Frog." He nodded, and she called the bank manager into the office. She explained the situation about the nice frog. The bank manager asked to see the ornament. When he inspected it, he smiled broadly. The frog was optimistic.

 

He happily exclaimed, "That's a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"

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