Guest littleloveslars Posted October 29, 2017 Report Posted October 29, 2017 Fake daddies. Ba dum tiss.
MistahJay Posted October 29, 2017 Report Posted October 29, 2017 What did the tourist say to the old Pyramids? 'Get outta here, you Giza!' I saw Harry Potter skip down a steep hill, J.K he was Rowling
HampshireBloke Posted November 8, 2017 Report Posted November 8, 2017 How do you know all of these are Dad jokes? Because the punch lines are a-parent 1
DaddyJ88 Posted November 11, 2017 Report Posted November 11, 2017 I watched a Documentary about building ocean liners the other night. It was riveting.
PinkiePie84 Posted November 19, 2017 Report Posted November 19, 2017 What does a thesaurus have for breakfast? Synonym rolls
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted November 19, 2017 Report Posted November 19, 2017 A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted November 19, 2017 Report Posted November 19, 2017 A drum set fell into a ravine. Ba-dum-tsssh,
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted November 19, 2017 Report Posted November 19, 2017 What do you call it when a cow swallos a hand grenade? Abominable. When the grenade goes off? Noble.
Guest Snow White Posted November 20, 2017 Report Posted November 20, 2017 I used to work at a BDSM store but I quit because everyone was so bossy 1
Guest Nada3925 Posted December 2, 2017 Report Posted December 2, 2017 Man goes to the liquor store with his wife. He asks, "Should I buy the 12 year old scotch?" Wife answers, "Are you trying to trying to get your daughter drunk?" Guys I think I saw an angel down here last night, and man was she pretty. Wonder what she did to piss of the guy upstairs. You Matter.. Until you multiply yourself times the speed of light squared. Then you Energy. Little is playing with her kitty. Daddy walks in and says, "Bad girl, I'm the only one allowed to do that."
Zer0CrueL Posted December 14, 2017 Report Posted December 14, 2017 I’m reading this book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down! Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece! Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind...it’s tearable. A termite walks in to a bar. “Is the bar tender here?” 5/4 of all people are bad at fractions. What’s the best part of living in Switzerland? I’m not sure, but the flag is a big plus!
MattyBear Posted December 14, 2017 Report Posted December 14, 2017 What do one of the most easily detectable leptonic decay channels of the Z-Boson and an angry cow have in common? They both have a muon.
John_Titor Posted January 4, 2018 Report Posted January 4, 2018 Why do astronomers hate orions belt? It's a big waist of space. Sorry, that joke was terrible, I give it three stars.
Guest Mister_Kosmik Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here." Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton." Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans. Me: 'Hey, I was thinking… ' My dad: 'I thought I smelled something burning.
Maarloeve Posted January 5, 2018 Report Posted January 5, 2018 what are the sexiest animals on a farm? brown chicken brown cow
Daddy the cuddle muffin Posted January 6, 2018 Report Posted January 6, 2018 Two antennas met on the roof and the got married. There cerimony wasn't muchbut the reception was amazin I heard mario went to a party and it was packed with toads. There wasn't mushroom and none of them were fungis 1
Traveling Daddy Posted January 25, 2018 Report Posted January 25, 2018 What do you call a cow without legs.... Ground Beef
Guest Bunnyblossom Posted January 25, 2018 Report Posted January 25, 2018 You're walking in the woods at night with Shia Labeouf. You hear a noise- "It's so scary walking in the woods at night!" you exclaim. "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone." he replies. - Actual Cannibal, Shia Labeouf http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201509_1343_ecife_sm.jpg
Amber Sweet Posted March 18, 2018 Report Posted March 18, 2018 oh dear lord, so many Dad jokes. Imma show this to my daddy, but i feel like im gunna regret it...
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted April 26, 2018 Report Posted April 26, 2018 A man goes to a funeral, and asks the widow if he can say a word. She nods, so he stands up, says "Plethora", and sits back down again. "Thank you," says the widow, "That means a lot." 1
Guest McLeodLot65 Posted April 26, 2018 Report Posted April 26, 2018 What do you call it when a cow swallows a live hand grenade? Abominable. What do you call it about fifteen seconds later? Noble. 1
Guest Mr. Snuggleuffagus Posted April 27, 2018 Report Posted April 27, 2018 What do you call a fish made of sodium? 2 Na
Angel24 Posted May 4, 2018 Report Posted May 4, 2018 *dad pokes child in the head with a measuring tape multiple times* Child: dad, what are you doing? Dad: measuring your patience 1
Frog Posted May 16, 2018 Report Posted May 16, 2018 Rick Astley is a big Pixar fan and owns copies of all their DVDs. He'll even let you borrow most of them. But he'll never give you Up.
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now