What do you want/need?

[BakedPotato]

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Hi everyone!! I have been in the ddlg lifestyle for a couple years now, but since joining this site, I have learned so much!In doing so, I have really figured out more about what I want, what I need, and how to tell the difference between the two. I've learned it's important to know what your needs are, and to not throw them out the window just because you think you won't find anyone else better.(be more confident!) I personally have had a hard time with throwing my needs away just because I like someone. I know I can't be the only person (little or daddy) who has a problem with that. A lot of us are just very giving, to a fault. Anyways, I have decided to become more proactive in fixing some "self destructive" things that I do, such as sacrificing my needs in a relationship. I decided to make a list of what I know i absolutely have to have in a relationship in order to be happy. The goal is to have it written down, so when I find someone I'm interested in, I can't falsely justify why I'm ok giving those up just because I like them. These are needs, and I am not going to sacrifice them for any reason anymore. I then made a list of things that I do really like in a relationship, but am willing to sacrifice because they are mostly just bonuses. ^^ This is a list that helps me really identify what I need and want, and it will continue to grow and change as I do. At the bottom I made a chart of 3 areas of a relationship in which I feel I have to be compatible with my love. Then I wrote down exactly how that person would be compatible with me. 

 

 

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The reason I'm sharing this is because I know there are a lot of people who constantly kid themselves that they don't need certain things just because the person they like doesn't provide those. I want this to inspire more people to make a list themselves, and support each other to not give up finding what they deserve. We are all worth the love we need.  Please be kind to yourself, and remember your needs are important. The healthiest advice I've ever been given is love isn't the only thing that makes a healthy relationship. Read that a thousand times if you have to. Loving each other is not the only thing that matters in your relationship. Don't settle for less than you need. It will only end in hurt. Be confident in yourself and your wants and needs! 
 

 

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If you would like to share your list, go for it! If you have questions or concerns, I want this to be a place you can share those. If you yourself have advice about this, please feel free to share. This is a place for motivating each other not to settle for less than you know you need. 

Be honest with yourself. 

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***side note, every person in any role should have needs that they dont sacrifice. Don't feel like just because you're a daddy/mommy/cg/little you dont have them. Everyone deserves to have things they dont have to sacrifice for others. ^^

Edited July 31, 2017 by LittleBlue